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Miles Gundy.

THE HSV-1 VIRUS is one of Miles’s favorites. This is the basic cold sore virus most people contract before age six. When the cold sore goes away, the virus remains in the body for life, appearing from time to time for no predictable reason.

There’s no permanent cure for HSV-1.

It’s contagious, and spreads through direct contact, as Miles learned four months ago when combining it with the highly toxic agent, dimethylmercury. On that occasion he spilled a single drop on his gloved hand. As a result, Miles is dying. The only reason he’s still alive? He immediately underwent treatment for mercury poisoning.

Upon contact, Dimethylmercury enters the bloodstream and slowly works its way to the brain. It generally takes four months to notice the first symptoms, but when it comes, it’s quick. Your speech slurs, you drop things, you stumble into walls. Three weeks later, you die.

But by combining the poison with the live HSV-1 virus, Miles created a toxic stew that will enter the skin of anyone who touches the barre for the next two hours. Because the Dancing Barre ladies are exercising, it’s only a matter of time before they’ll wipe the sweat from their eyes, noses, or mouths, at which point Miles’s concoction will enter their mucous membranes. The ladies will be symptom-free for ten days, but they’ll die four days later.

Two weeks from now, when doctors realize the instructor and every member of the 3:15 p.m. exercise class died on the same day, people all over the country will fear exercise classes.

It would be nice to think his concoction would have far-reaching effects, where one infected person would infect ten, and those ten would infect ten more, but it doesn’t work that way. The entire life cycle of the contagion is about four and a half hours, meaning, anyone not infected by 7:30 pm tonight will be safe. What’s worse, only about five percent of infected people will prove to be carriers of the disease.

That is not to say Miles hasn’t made an impact.

Take Joy Adams, for example. Joy reserved the last spot for the 3:15 p.m. exercise class at Dancing Barre. After class, she’ll catch a plane to visit her sister in Roanoke, Virginia. She’ll hold her boarding pass in her contaminated hands and pass it to the gate attendant, who’ll be dead fourteen days later. On the plane, Joy will touch the arm rests, the tray table, the overhead compartment latch, her water bottle, her drink glass and napkin, the in-flight magazine, and any number of other items. Until about 7:30 p.m. some or all of those items will be infected, and the chances are high at least another dozen people will come into contact with them.

When Joy disembarks her plane, she’ll embrace her sister and brother-in-law and their two kids, and their dog. The dog will be fine, but the family won’t. That night, they’ll take her out to dinner at Chez Villesa, where she’ll enter the restroom at 7:23 p.m. After peeing, she’ll use the soap dispenser, at which point the virus will have approximately seven minutes to live.

What are the odds the very next woman who touches the soap dispenser will be that one-in-twenty person who can spread the virus during the final seven minutes?