Maybe

44

HIGHLAND-WINET AIRPORT is four miles north-west of Highland, Illinois, and less than five minutes from the home of Miles Gundy. We land, and I sign for the rental car. Within minutes I’m turning right on Atlantic Avenue.

“Gundy’s house?” Miranda says.

“Yup.”

“Lou said it might be booby trapped.”

“That’s why you’re going to wait in the car.”

When I turn into the driveway she says, “This is how you do it?”

“What?”

“Don’t you park somewhere and scope out the scene first? Get a feel for what’s happening?”

I notice she’s got her compact out, checking her makeup.

“I probably should scope out the scene, but I don’t watch as much TV as you.”

“You’re making fun of me.”

“A little.”

“So you’re just going to what, find an open window in the back? Pick a lock?”

“People don’t leave their windows unlocked in real life. And while I can certainly pick a lock, it’s easier to kick the door in.”

“Won’t that make a lot of noise?”

“Yup.”

“You’re not concerned about the neighbors?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“I make neighbors nervous.”

“They’ll call the police.”

“I doubt that. But if they do, I’ll handle it.”

“How?”

“Miranda?”

“Yes, honey?”

“This is what I do. Can you just sit back, finish powdering your nose, and let me do it? I mean, no offense, but I could’ve been inside by now.”

“Just tell me how you’d handle the police.”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“If it’s not too much trouble,” she adds, sweetly.

“If the cops show up I’ll say I came to check on Miles because I haven’t heard from him in days. When he didn’t answer the door, I kicked it in, concerned he might have suffered a heart attack. He has a heart condition, you see, and I’m his cardiologist.”

“You are?”

“I’ve got papers to prove it.”

“Cool.”

“You’re happy now?” I say.

“Yes. Thank you.”

“Anything else?”

“Nope. Off you go!”

I open the door and start to get out, but stop long enough to ask, “Just out of curiosity, why are you so worried about the cops?

“Because there are two policemen in the car behind us, watching the house.”

I frown, and look in the mirror. Must be the angle, but I don’t see them. I climb out of the car and as I turn to look, an unmarked police car turns into the driveway and comes to a stop two feet behind my rental car.

They exit the vehicle and tell me to put my hands where they can see them. One approaches, one stays back.

“Are you Miles Gundy?”

“No, but I hope to catch him at home.”

“Why?”

“Follow up interview.”

“For what?”

“I’m a corporate recruiter.”

“A what?”

“Some folks say headhunter.”

“Like in Africa?”

“You’re kidding, right?” I pause. “No? Well anyway, I hire unemployed executives. Mr. Gundy’s a chemist, looking for work. I’ve got a possible job for him.”

“You got an ID?”

I show him one.

“Donovan Creed?”

“That’s right.”

“And who’s this with you?” he says, pointing at my passenger.

“Miranda Rodriguez, director of Human Resources, NYU.”

He walks around to the passenger side, taps on the window. She looks up.

“Can you step out of the car, Miss?”

He stands back while she opens the door.

“ID, please?”

She shows him her driver’s license.

“You’re a long way from New York.”

“So are you,” she says.

“Gundy’s not here,” the cop says. “But we’re looking for him.”

“Can I ask why?” Miranda says.

“You can ask. Doesn’t mean I’ll answer.”

“Well, if he’s done something wrong, I’d like to know about it. We’re looking to employ an honest chemist, not a law-breaker.”

The other cop likes the way Miranda fits her jeans. He walks over and says, “His prior employer reported some dangerous chemicals have gone missing. We’re waiting for him to show up, see if he knows anything about that.”

“His prior employer?” Miranda says. “Esson Pharmaceuticals, of St. Louis?”

He consults his notes. “Yes, ma’am. Gundy’s supervisor, Ephram Livingston, reported the property stolen.

“Dr. Livingston, I presume?” Miranda says, without the slightest hint of a smile.

He consults his notes furiously before giving up. “I’ll have to assume he’s a doctor,” he says. “Strange name, though, don’t you think? Ephram?”

“My father’s name was Ephram,” she says, shamelessly. “He died in a car crash, when I was a child.”

“I’m so sorry!” he says. Then adds, “I certainly didn’t mean to imply I don’t like the name. It’s a fine name. Just unusual, is all.”

Miranda smiles. “You’ve done me a kindness, informing me about the reported theft. That was very gallant of you.”

“Gallant,” the first cop says.

“How so?” the second cop says, trying to sound sophisticated.

“We’ve narrowed our job search to two applicants. Mr. Gundy, and Ms. Possumdegumstump.”

She looks at me and says, “Mr. Creed, I think we can safely say Ms. Possumdegumstump is our new head chemist.”

“Swell,” I say.

The second cop tips his hat.

“Glad to be of service,” he says. “Will you be staying in our fair city overnight?”

“Our fair city?” the first cop sneers.

“Alas, no,” Miranda says. “Our winning candidate lives in St. Louis. I suppose we’ll be heading there now.”

She looks at me. “Is that correct, Mr. Creed?”

I nod.

“Oh, pooh!” she says.

“Well, until next time,” he says.

“Until then,” she says.

As we get back in the car we hear the first cop say “Oh, poo!” to his partner.

I wait for them to back out of the driveway. When they do, I follow suit, and Miranda waves to the cops as I head down the street.

“Ms. Possumdegumstump?” I say.

She smiles. “That’s right.”

“Because?”

“In my experience, a longer, stranger name is more believable than a common one, like Smith or Jones.”

“I’ll say it again. Come work for me.”

“No.”

“I’ll pay you three thousand dollars a week.”

“That’s very generous, but no.”

I sigh. “You’re a heartbreaker.”

“Good thing you’re a cardiologist.”

“Thirty-five hundred.”

“No.”

I turn right at the intersection, left on Fairway.

“Where to, Mr. Headhunter?”

“We’ll go ahead and pick up Miles.”

“You know where he is?”

“I do.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“Nope.”

“If you knew where he was, why did you want to kick in his door?”

“Evidence.”

“Ah.”