Niubi! The Real Chinese You Were Never Taught in School

Miscellaneous

火星文 huǒxīngwén (hwuh sheeng when)

Internet or text-messaging shorthand, such as “lol,” “Cul8r,” and “b4.” Literally “martian language” because the hodgepodge use of numbers, symbols, made-up words, and letters from other languages looks like a new, foreign (or interplanetary, thus martian) language.

火星人 huǒxīngrén (hwuh sheeng ren)

A martian. That is, someone out of touch with reality or with the latest news and trends. A commenter might jokingly (or pejoratively) reply to such a person, “你是火星回来的吗?” “Nǐ shì huǒxīng huílai de ma?” (nee shih hwuh sheeng hway lie duh ma): “Did you just get back from Mars?” In general, Chinese Internet users frequently make jokes about being from Mars in response to things they find funny or bizarre.

火星贴 huǒxīng tiē (hwuh sheeng tyih)

Literally “post from Mars.” Refers to an extremely old post. If someone posts something old that everyone’s seen before, someone might comment, “This is a post from Mars.”

LZ

Stands for 楼主 lóuzhǔ (low joo), which refers to the author of a post or the person who starts a BBS thread. So you might write something like, “I agree with LZ.” Literally means “building owner” or “owner of the house.”

沙发 shāfā (shah fa)

Literally means “sofa” and refers to the first person to reply to a post. Since LZ (page 182) is the “owner of the house,” the first person to reply, or enter the house, gets the sofa. Sometimes just written in English, as “sofa.” The next commenter after the “sofa” is referred to as 坐板凳 zuò bǎndèng (zwuh bahn dung), meaning “sitting on a bench.”

高楼 gāolóu (gaow low)

Literally means “tall building” and used online to refer to a topic or post that attracts hundreds of replies, making the thread taller and taller, like a high-rise building.

斑竹 bānzhú (bahn joo)

Literally “bamboo” but used to refer to a BBS moderator because it is pronounced exactly like the real term for the moderator, which is 版主 bānzhú (bahn joo).

RT

Stands for 如题 rútí (roo tee), which means “refer to the title or subject.” A common response when someone asks a stupid question, as in, “Look at the title and subject-the answer is obvious from that.”

286

Out of fashion, out of date, old-fashioned. Refers to an old, and thus outdated, computer chip from the 1980s (the Intel 80286).

死机 sǐjī (sih gee)

Means “unexpected computer shutdown.” Literally “dead machine,” but now more widely used to indicate being so dumbfounded by something that you can’t even respond.

蜜 mì (me) and 黑 hēi (hay)

Mì means “honey” and is tacked onto a word to indicate fervent support for a certain athlete or sports team, the way we might use “freak,” as in “He’s a total Raiders freak.” Hēi means “black” and is used the same way, but to indicate hatred.

晒 shài (shy)

Literally means “to air” or “to sun” and can thus suggest “to show.” Used online to refer to the popular phenomenon of netizens photographing their stuff (some women, for example, like to photograph their extensive and very expensive collection of cosmetics and beauty products) and posting the pictures online to show off, prompt discussions about favorite products, share recommendations, etc. Another common variation is 兽 shòu (show), which means “beast” but sounds exactly like the English word “show.”

长草 zhǎng cǎo (dzahng tsow)

Literally “grow grass.” On the Chinese Internet, feelings of yearning or want are described as “grass growing in the heart,” and netizens often use the expression when they see things they want that other netizens shài or shòu (see above) online.

三手病 sān shŏu bìng (sahn show bing)

Literally “three hands illness.” Describes tiredness of the hand due to excessive computer use. A person who spends too much time gaming or online is called a 三手 sān shŏu (sahn show). An equivalent Western concept might be “Blackberry thumb”: pain caused by typing too much with your thumbs on your Blackberry.

假跳 jiǎtiào (jah tyow)

Used online to mean “lie.” Literally “false jump.” It comes from the role-playing computer game PK: Police and Killer, and it refers to when a policeman in the game pretends that he has mistaken a civilian for the killer.

爆头 bàotóu (baow toe)

Literally “explode head.” This term comes from the computer game Counter-Strike, in which it refers to killing an opponent, but has spread beyond that context to mean any sort of unexpected attack or blow.

留爪 liú zhuǎ (lyew jwa-the first syllable rhymes with “ew”)

Literally “leave a claw mark.” Refers to posting on BBSs.

失写症 shī xiě zhēng (shih shyih jung)

Literally “lose writing illness.” Refers to the phenomenon of using the computer so much that you forget how to write Chinese characters by hand.

凤凰男 fènghuáng nán (fung hwahng nahn)

Literally “phoenix man.” A newly coined term for a 穷小子 qióng xiǎozi (chyohng shyow dz), or “poor guy,” from a rural area whose family scrimps and saves to put him through school so he can go to the big city and find a job. His success is analogized to a rising phoenix.

孔雀女 kǒngquè nǚ (kohng chreh nee-the first syllable essentially rhymes with “cone” but with the same ending sound as “long”)

A spoiled city girl who grew up with money. The counterpart to a “phoenix man” (above). Literally “peacock woman” and a newly coined term for a 富家女 fùjiā nǚ (foo jah nee), or “wealthy-family woman.” Both “phoenix man” and “peacock woman” are often used as a kind of shorthand in discussions of the culture clash between young people from different backgrounds, a byproduct of China ’s rapid urbanization. Marriages between a “phoenix man” and “peacock woman,” and their resultant problems, are an especially widely discussed issue.

草莓族 cǎoméi zú (tsow may dzoo)

A 草莓 cǎoméi (tsow may) is a strawberry and 族 zú (dzoo) means “race,” “clan,” or “generation”-basically any wide grouping of people. Cǎoméi zú is a slightly negative nickname for the younger generation (or the 80 后 bāshíhòu (bah shih ho), those born “after 1980”). Like the fruit, members of the “strawberry clan” are good-looking thanks to their youth, confidence, fashionable clothes, and the other trappings of a cushy life but are soft and easily bruised (that is, they don’t hold up well under pressure) because they’ve had it easy all their lives.

榴莲族 liúlián zú (lyoo lyinn dzoo)

Durian clan. A durian is an indigenous Southeast Asian fruit with a tough, thorny husk, which is well-known mostly because it smells horrendous-enough so that it is banned on the subway in Singapore. It is perhaps this negative perception surrounding the fruit that has inspired younger people from the “strawberry clan” to give this moniker to what they consider the unprogressive and out-of-touch older generation.

椰子族 yēzi zú (yeh dz dzoo)

Coconut clan. A moniker for young people who are the opposite of the strawberry clan-able to work very hard and “eat bitterness” because of their tough husks. Why exactly Chinese seem to love categorizing people with names of fruits is unclear, but it means that bewildering comments like these are common on Internet forums: “Not just the strawberry generation, but the generation of children who will graduate college in 2010. How will they know how to face the world’s realities? Strawberries will seem cactuses compared to what these delicate orchids will be once they are cast adrift on the seas of real life’s waters.”

山寨 shānzhài (shahn jie-jie rhymes with “die”)

Literally “mountain stronghold,” alluding to a period in China ’s history when various areas were controlled by renegade warlords (with mountain strongholds); that is, outside official control. Today shānzhài retains that renegade idea but means “knockoff” or “fake.” It can also mean “inferior” or “cheap,” though more recently the word has taken on a more positive connotation, suggesting ingenuity and a sense of humor, as people begin to embrace “shānzhài culture.” Knockoff mobile phone makers extoll the shānzhài nature of their products, arguing that they are making high-end products accessible to the masses, and some companies even cheekily use shānzhài spokespeople-that is, celebrity look alikes-to endorse their products. One especially hilarious example of shānzhài culture’s tongue-in-cheek nature: KFC’s Chinese name is 肯德基 Kěn Dé Jī (ken duh gee), but one shānzhài business, also serving fried chicken and fast food, calls itself 啃他鸡 Kěn Tā Jī (ken tah gee), which sounds similar but means “nibble his chicken” and is a dirty double entendre, since 鸡 jī (gee) is a slang term for “penis.”

极品女 jípǐn nǚ (gee peen nee) and 极品男 jípǐn nán (gee peen nahn)

Literally “extremely great woman” and “extremely great man” but often used sarcastically on the Internet to mean someone who is fussy or annoying.

宅女 zhái nǚ (jigh nee) and 宅男 zhái nán (jigh nahn)

A woman or man, respectively, who stays indoors all day and spends all her or his time on the Internet. A Japanese slang term (written with the same characters) that spread first to Taiwan and is now frequently used by Internet users all over China.