Niubi! The Real Chinese You Were Never Taught in School

CHAPTER TWO. The Chinese Art of Everyday Abuse

One of the first words you’ll learn in Chinese class is 你好 nĭhǎo (nee how), which means “hello.” However, the fact is that Chinese people don’t actually say nĭhǎo all that often. Instead, when you arrive for dinner, a party, or a meeting, they’ll say, “You’ve arrived,” 你来了 nǐ lái le (nee lie luh). When you depart, someone will say, “You’re going,” 你走啦 nǐ zǒu la (nee dzoe lah).

When I walk down the street on a windy day, it seems the conversation is the same for everyone I pass. The granny taking her granddaughter out for a stroll will exclaim, as she lifts the little girl into her stroller, “It’s windy!” The two middle-aged men running into each other on the street will greet each other by saying, “So windy today!” When I get home, the trash collector sitting on my stoop will welcome me back by announcing, “What a windy day!”

Chinese people love to comment on the obvious, sometimes to the point of insensitivity or what we might even consider outright cruelty. Chinese sports commentators often say things like “Wow, he’s gained a lot of weight!” about athletes on the field. I have a “big-boned” older cousin whom, for as far back as I can remember, we have always called 胖姐姐 pàng jiějie (pahng jyih jyih), which literally means “fat sister.” Westerners in China were once referred to as Big Nose. President Obama is often referred to as 黑人 hēirén (hay ren), or “the black guy.” My bearded friend Jason is referred to as Big Beard. My mother is called the Mandarin equivalent of American Auntie, her older sister is Eldest Aunt, and my father is Old Man. It’s as if every Chinese person is somehow living in gangland Chicago or some imaginary criminal underworld in which everyone needs a self-descriptive nickname to make it easier for the FBI to identify them. Indeed, the most notorious gang boss in Chinese history was “Big-Eared” Du, and his mentor was “Pockmarked” Huang.

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, Chinese people, perhaps as a result of their collective thick skin, tend to demonstrate affection by being mean. Or rather, they speak frankly to each other in a way that, for them, indicates a level of familiarity that only a close relationship can have. But, to outside observers, it resembles, at best, a sort of constant, low-level stream of verbal abuse. For a young Chinese woman, there is no better way to express love for her boyfriend than by whacking him with her purse while telling him he’s horrible. Groups of friends incessantly interrupt each other with cries of “Nonsense!” or “Shut up!” A good way to greet a pal is to give him a pained look and ask what the hell he did to his hair. I myself have had many an otherwise peaceful afternoon spent curled up on an armchair, happily reading a book, when I’ve been suddenly interrupted by a passing aunt or some other stray family member who snuck up behind me, smacked me across the back, and bellowed, “哎呀！, 蠢！ ” “iyā! Yòu féi, yòu chǔn!” (aye yah! yo fay, yo chren!): “My God! So fat and lazy!”

The Chinese word for “scold” or “verbally abuse” is 骂 mà (mah). Note those two squares at the top of the character-they represent two mouths, no doubt heaping abuse on the nearest person available. This chapter gathers words for the age-old art of 骂人 màrén (mah ren) or “scolding people,” including everyday exclamations of annoyance and frustration, teasing put-downs and dismissals, words for affectionate name-calling, everyday insults, and everything else you’ll need to generally convey to the most important people in your life that their very existence on this earth is a constant and overwhelming burden.

And finally, the Chinese may have a healthy sense of humor when it comes to the slings and arrows of everyday life, but they can also hold a grudge, and so at the end of the chapter you’ll find words to fuel the fire when things cross the line into full-on feuding-genuinely venomous insults with the power to end decades-long friendships, provoke fistfights, and possibly get you disowned.

Everyday exclamations

哎呀 àiya (aye yah)

A common interjection that can be used for a wide range of occasions: when you’ve forgotten something, when you’re impatient, when you’re bored, when you feel helpless, as a lead-in to scolding someone, etc. It isn’t exactly a word-more like a weighty sigh and roughly equivalent to “Oh Lord!” or “My God!”

糟了 zāole (dzow luh-the starting sound in dzow is like a buzzing bzz sound but with a d instead of a b, and the whole syllable should rhyme with “cow”)

A very common expression of dismay. Literally “rotten” or “spoiled” and something like saying, “Oh shoot!” “Darn!” or “Crap!” You can also say 糟糕 zāogāo (dzow gaow-both syllables rhyme with “cow”), which literally means “rotten cakes,” but it’s less current.

完了 wánle (wahn luh)

Same meaning as zāole (above). It’s pretty much like exclaiming “Crap!” to yourself. Literally, it means “over.”

老天爷 lǎotiānyé (laow tyinn yeh)

Literally “my father God” and sometimes 我的天 wǒdetiān (wuh duh tyinn), literally “my heavens.” Equivalent to exclaiming “My God!” or “Oh goodness!” These phrasings are more common among older people; younger people usually shorten them to 天哪 tiānnǎ (tyinn nah) or simply 天 tiān (tyinn): “Oh heavens!” or “Heavens!”

哇塞 wā sài (wah sigh)

Shoot! Darn! Oh my God! Wow! Holy cow! An exclamation especially popular among girls. Comes from a Taiwanese curse that means “Fuck your mother” (but is a shortened and nonprofane version of it).

该死的 gāisǐde (guy sih duh)

My God! Holy crap! Literally “should die.”

气死我了 qìsǐwǒle (chee sih wuh luh)

Argh! Damn it! Crap! Literally, “I’m angry to the point of death.”

可恶 kěwù (kuh woo)

Literally “hateful” and said alone means something like “Darn!”

傻眼 shǎyǎn (shah yen)

Oh no! Said in response to surprising, negative situations. For example, if you discover that your house has been broken into. Literally “dumbfounded eye.”

晕 yūn (een)

Means “dizzy” or “faint” and is often uttered to express surprise, shock, amusement, or even confusion or disgust; that is, emotions that might make you feel faint.

倒霉 dǎoméi (dow may)

Bad luck. You can say this when something unfortunate happens. This sentiment can be made slightly stronger by saying 真倒霉 zhēn dǎoméi (jen dow may), which means “really bad luck.”

点儿背 diǎnr bēi (dyerr bay)

Beijing /northern Chinese slang for dǎoméi (above), used the same way. Literally “fate turns its back on you.” 点儿 Diǎnr is northern Chinese slang for “luck” or “fate,” and 背 bēi means “back.”

残念 cánniàn (tsahn nyinn)

Bummer, too bad. Popular among young people to express disappointment. Derived from the Japanese phrase zannen desu, which sounds similar and means something like “what a shame” or “that’s too bad.”

郁闷 yùmēn (ee men)

A popular term among young people, it means “depressed” but is used as an adjective for a much larger range of situations-when they feel pissed off, upset, disappointed, or even just bored. Exclaimed alone, one would say, “郁闷啊…” “Yùmēn ā…” (ee men ah), meaning “I’m depressed…” or “Sigh…”

Dismissals and shutdowns

没劲 méijìn (may jeen)

Literally “no strength.” Said dismissively of things you find uninteresting or stupid, much like saying “whatever.” A stronger way to say this is 真没劲 zhēn méijìn (jen may jeen), literally “really no strength.”

无聊 wúliáo (ooh lyow)

Nonsense, bored, boring. A common expression if you’re bored is 无聊死了 wúliáo sǐ le (ooh lyow sih luh), literally “bored to death.” You can also say wúliáo in response to something you find stupid or uninteresting; for example, in response to an unfunny joke.

服了 fú le (foo luh) or 服了你了 fúle nǐ le (foo luh nee luh)

Literally means “admire you” and sometimes said genuinely in response to something awe inspiring, but more usually said mockingly when someone says or does something silly or stupid. A more common form among younger people is “I 服了 U!” or “I fú le you,” literally “I admire you,” from a 1994 Stephen Chow movie.

不想耳食你 bùxiǎngěrshínǐ (boo shahng er shih nee)

I don’t even want to talk to you; I’m ignoring you. Literally, “I don’t want to ear eat you.” Originally Sichuan slang.

帮帮忙 bāngbāngmáng (bahng bahng mahng)

Literally means “help” but used in Shanghai to admonish someone before rebutting something they’ve said. The equivalent of sarcastically saying “come on” or “please” or “give me a break.”

小样了吧 xiǎo yàng le ba (shyaow yahng luh bah)

Said when laughing at or mocking someone else. Similar to “ha-ha” or “suck that.” Used in northeastern China. Literally something like “(look at) that little face!”

哑了啊？ yǎ le a? (yah luh ah)

Literally, “Are you mute?” 哑 Yǎ means “dumb” or “mute.” You can ask this when you say something and don’t get a response.

歇菜 xiē cài (shih tsigh)

Knock it off; quit it. Literally “rest vegetable.” A slangy but mild way to tell someone to stop doing something. Used in northern China only.

你吃错药了吗? Nǐ chī cuò yào le ma? (nee chih tswuh yow luh ma)

Did you take the wrong medicine? A mildly insulting way to imply that someone is acting rude or strange.

去! Qù! (chee)

Shut up! Literally “go.” Usually said affectionately.

去你的! Qù nĭ de! (chee nee duh)

Get lost! Stop it! Up yours! Literally “go to yours.”

闭嘴! Bì zuǐ! (bee dzway)

Shut up! Literally “close mouth.” A more emphatic option is 你给我闭嘴! Nǐ gěi wǒ bìzuǐ! (nee gay wuh bee dzway), literally “Shut your mouth for me!”

切! Qiè! (chyih)

A noise expressing disdain. Equivalent to saying “Please!” or “Whatever.”

烦 fán (fahn)

Irritating, annoying, troublesome. Common uses include 你烦不烦啊！ Nǐ fán bù fán a! (nee fahn boo fahn ah), meaning “You’re really freaking annoying!” (literally, “Aren’t you annoying!”), and 烦死人了你！ Fánsǐ rén le nǐ! (fahn sih ren luh nee): “You’re annoying me to death!”

你恨機車 nǐ hěn jīchē (nee hun gee chuh)

You’re really annoying. Taiwan slang for someone who is bossy or picky or otherwise annoying. Literally, “You are very motorcycle” or “You are very scooter.” It’s also common to just say 你恨機 nǐ hěn jī (nee hun gee) for short. Supposedly, this expression originally came from 雞歪 jīwāi (gee why), meaning one’s dick is askew.

你二啊! nǐ èr a! (nee er ah)

You’re so stupid. Literally, “You’re [number] two.” 二 Er (er) means “two” in Chinese, but in northeast China it can also be slang for “stupid” or “silly,” referring to 二百五 èrbǎiwǔ (er buy woo) (see page 19).

脑子坏了吧？ nǎozi huài le ba? (nee now dz hwie luh bah)

Is your brain broken? Used exactly the way you’d use the English phrase.

你瞎呀? nǐ xiā ya? (knee shah yah)

Are you blind? Used, for example, when someone steps on your foot.

太过分了 tài guòfèn le (tie gwuh fen luh)

This is outrageous! This is going too far! Literally “much too far.”

受不了 shòubùliǎo (show boo lyaow)

Literally “unacceptable” and can mean “This is unacceptable” or “I can’t take it.” A stronger form is 真受不了 zhēn shòubùliǎo (jen show boo lyaow), literally “really unacceptable.”

你敢？ nǐ gǎn? (nee gahn)

Literally, “Do you dare?” and used in a challenging way when arguing or playing around. It’s like saying, “Go ahead-I dare you!”

讨厌 tǎoyàn (taow yen-the first syllable rhymes with “cow”)

Disgusting, troublesome, nuisance, nasty. Can also be a verb that means “to hate” (doing something). However, it is also common for girls to say this word by itself to express petulance, frustration, or annoyance.

你很坏! nǐ hěn huài! (nee hun hwigh)

You’re so bad! Often used between friends in an unserious way or flirtingly between couples. However, like the rest of these expressions it can also be used in a genuinely angry way, perhaps by a mother toward a child. For example, 你怎么那么坏 nǐ zěnme nàme huài (nee dzuh muh nuh muh hwigh) means literally “How can you be so bad?” and is like saying, “What is wrong with you?”

恶心 ěxīn (uhh sheen)

Nauseating, disgusting, gross. Alternately, 真恶 zhēn ě (jen uhh), “very nauseating” or “so gross.” Ěxīn can also be used as a verb to mean “to embarrass someone” or “to make someone feel uncomfortable or awkward.”

没门儿 méi ménr (may murr)

No way! Fat chance! A rude, curt way to say no. Literally “no door.” Used in Beijing.

废话 fèihuà (fay hwa)

Nonsense. Literally “useless words.” An extremely common expression. Northern Chinese sometimes instead say 费! fèi! (fay), literally “wasteful,” to mean “Nonsense!”

瞎说 xiāshuō (shah shwuh)

To talk nonsense. Literally “to speak blindly.” Common usages include 别瞎说 bié xiāshuō (byih shah shwuh), meaning “don’t be ridiculous” or “stop talking nonsense”, and 你瞎说 nǐ xiāshuō (nee shah shwuh), “you’re talking nonsense” or “you’re full of crap.”

Any of the following synonyms may be swapped for xiāshuō in the two samples given above:

胡扯 húchě (hoo chuh), “blab messily”

胡说 húshuō (who shwuh), “speak messily”

乱说 luànshuō (lwun shwuh), “speak chaotically”

鬼扯 guǐchě (gway chuh), “ghost blab”

说白话 shuō báihuà (shwuh buy hwa), “speak white

words” (this one is seldom used among younger people

now)

扯淡 chědàn (chuh dahn)

To talk nonsense, to bullshit (but not as profane as “bullshit”). Used in northern China.

放屁 fàngpì (fahng pee)

Bullshit, nonsense, lies, whatever, shut up! Literally “fart.” Used as a mild expletive.

狗屁 gǒupì (go pee) or 放狗屁 fàng gǒupì (fahng go pee)

Bullshit, nonsense. Literally “dog fart” and “release a dog fart,” respectively.

有屁快放 yǒu pì kuaì fang (yo pee kwigh fahng-kuaì rhymes with “high”)

A more vulgar way to say “Spit it out!” or “If you have something to say, hurry up and say it.” Literally means, “If you need to fart, hurry up and let it out.”

屁话 pìhuà (pee hwa)

Bull, nonsense. Literally “fart talk.” Can be exclaimed alone to mean “Nonsense!” or “Yeah, right!”

狗屁不通 gǒupì bùtōng (go pee boo tohng)

Incoherent, nonsensical. Literally “dog unable to fart.” Exclaimed in response to something, it means roughly “that makes no sense” or “that’s total bull.” Can also be used as an adjective to describe someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

(Mostly affectionate) name-calling

书呆子 shūdāizi (shoo die dz-zi sounds like saying a very short bzz, but with a d sound instead of the b)

Bookworm, nerd, lacking social skills. Literally “book idiot.” 呆子 Dāizi means “idiot” or “fool” but is not often said alone.

懒虫 lǎnchóng (lahn chong)

Lazy bones. Literally “lazy bug.” Said affectionately.

小兔崽子 xiǎotù zǎizi (shaow too dzigh dz-zǎi rhymes with “high”)

Son of a rabbit. A gentle, teasing insult common among older people and directed at younger people. Ironically, parents often use this term to tease their children.

傻冒 / 傻帽 shǎmào (shah maow)

A gentle, affectionate jest-closer to something silly like “stupidhead.” Literally “silly hat.” 傻 Shǎ (shah) means “silly” or “dumb.”

傻瓜 shǎguā (shah gwah)

Dummy, fool. Literally “silly melon.” An extremely common insult, mostly used affectionately, and in use as early as the Yuan dynasty (1279-1368).

呆瓜 dàiguā (die gwah)

Dummy, fool. Literally “silly melon.”

面 miàn (myinn)

Northern Chinese slang for “timid” or “weak.” Literally “wheat flour,” as in the ingredient for noodles and bread, suggesting that the person is soft and flimsy as those foods.

面瓜 miànguā (myinn gwah)

Timid, coward. Literally “timid melon” (or still more literally “flour melon”). Used only in northern China.

白痴 báichī (buy chih)

Perhaps the most universal and commonly used term for “idiot” or “moron.”

十三点 shísān diǎn (shh sahn dyinn)

A mild, usually affectionate insult meaning “weirdo” or “crazy.” Literally “thirteen o’clock.” Originated in Shanghai and used a bit in other parts of southern China as well, though it is fast falling out of favor and is mainly used by older people now. The term refers to the chī in báichī (above), as the character for chī, 痴, is written using thirteen strokes. Other theories maintain that it refers to an illegal move in a gambling game called pai gow, 牌九 páijiǔ (pie joe) in Mandarin, or that it refers to an hour that clocks do not strike (though nowadays thirteen o’ clock is possible in military time).

半弔子 / 半吊子 bàn diàozi (bahn dyow dz)

Someone deficient in skill or mental ability. In ancient China, copper coins had square holes in the center and were strung together on a string. One thousand coins strung together formed a diào. Half of that (five hundred coins) was called 半弔子 / 半吊子 bàn diàozi (bahn dyow dz). Northern Chinese only, and seldom used today, but necessary to understand the more commonly used insult below.

二百五 èrbǎiwǔ (er buy woo)

Dummy, idiot, moron. Literally “two hundred fifty,” referring to half a bàn diàozi (see above). This is an extremely common insult; everyone knows it and probably grew up hearing it a lot, but like shísān diǎn (above), it’s considered a bit old-fashioned now.

A number of (usually) affectionate Chinese insults involve eggs. They most likely come from the much stronger insult 王八蛋 wángbādàn (wahng bah dun), literally “son of a turtle” or “turtle’s egg” and equivalent to “son of a bitch” or “bastard” in English. (The possible origins of wángbādàn are explained in the next chapter.) The insults below are mild and have shed any profane associations, much in the way we English speakers have mostly forgotten that phrases like “what a jerk,” “that bites,” and “sucker” originally referred to sex acts.

笨蛋 bèndàn (ben dahn)

Dummy, fool. Literally “stupid egg.” 笨 Bèn (ben) alone can be used in many insults and means “stupid.”

倒蛋 / 捣蛋 dǎodàn (daow dahn)

To cause trouble.

滚蛋 gǔndàn (gwen dahn)

Get lost! Literally “roll away, egg” or “go away, egg.”

坏蛋 huàidàn (hwigh dahn)

Bad person. Literally “bad egg.”

糊涂蛋 hútúdàn (who too dahn)

Confused/clueless person. Literally “confused egg.”

穷光蛋 qíongguāngdàn (chyohng gwahng dahn)

An insulting term for a person without money. Literally “poor and have-nothing egg.”

混蛋 hùndàn (hwen dahn)

Bastard. Literally “slacker egg.” 混 Hùn (hwen) means “to loaf,” “to wander around all day doing nothing,” or “to be up to no good.” Relatedly, 混混 hùnhùn (hwen hwen) or 混子 hùnzǐ (hwen dz) is used for a layabout, deadbeat, slacker, or any idle person up to no good.

龟孙子 guī sūnzi (gway swen dz) or 龟儿子 guī érzi (gway er dz)

Bastard. Literally “turtle grandson.” An insult that has lost, like “egg” insults, any obscene connotation.

蠢货 chǔnhuò (chwen hwuh)

Dummy, moron. Literally “silly good.”

菜 cài (tsigh)

Literally “vegetable.” Can be an insulting term meaning “ugly” and may also be less insultingly used to describe someone who is bad at doing something. For example, 你电脑真菜 nǐ diànnǎo zhēn cài (nee dyinn now jen tsigh) means “You suck at using the computer.” Similarly, 菜了 cài le (tsigh luh) is “to fail.”

木 mù (moo)

Stupid, slow, insensitive. Literally “wooden.”

脑子进水 nǎozi jìn shuǐ (now dz jean shway-zi is like saying a very short bzz, but with a d sound instead of the b)

Blockhead, dummy. Literally means “water in the brain.”

脑子养鱼 nǎozi yǎng yú (now dz yahng yee)

Blockhead, dummy. Literally “fish feed in the brain” or “fish being raised in [one’s] brain.” A variant on “water in the brain” (above), more popular among younger people.

废人 fèirén (fay ren)

Useless person.

窝囊废 wōnangfèi (wuh nahng fay)

Loser. Literally “good-for-nothing useless.”

软脚蟹 ruǎnjiǎoxiè (rwun jow shih)

Wuss, wussy, chicken. Literally “soft-legged crab.” Originated in Suzhou, where crab legs are a popular food and strong legs with lots of meat are, obviously, preferred over soft legs with no meat. Mostly used in the South. Northerners do not use the term but do understand its meaning when they hear it.

吃素的 chīsùde (chih soo duh)

Wuss, pushover, sucker. Literally “vegetarian,” referring to Buddhist monks because they are kind and merciful (and don’t eat meat). Usually used defensively, as in 我可不是吃素的 wǒ kě bushì chīsùde (wuh kuh boo shih chih soo duh), “I’m not a wuss,” or 你以为我是吃素的? nǐ yǐwéi wǒ shì chīsùde? (nee ee way wuh shih chih soo duh): “Do you think I’m a wuss?”

神经病 shénjīngbìng (shen jing bing)

Crazy, lunatic. Calling someone this connotes something like “What the hell is wrong with you?” Literally “mental illness.”

有病 yǒubìng (yo bing)

Crazy. A slightly more common and mild variation on shénjīngbìng (above). It’s like saying, “What? No way-you’re crazy!” Literally “have a disease.”

猪 zhū (joo) or 猪头 zhūtóu (joo toe)

Moron. Literally “pig” and “pighead,” respectively.

半残废 bàn cánfèi (bahn tsahn fay)

Literally “half-handicapped” or “half cripple.” Jokingly said of a man who is shorter than his woman. 残废 Cánfèi (tsahn fay) means “cripple” or “handicapped” and is a mocking term for a short man. Both terms can be real insults but, depending on who’s saying them and how, can also be affectionate jests.

脑被驴踢了 nǎo bèi lü’ tī le (now bay lee tee luh)

Kicked in the head by a donkey. Popular among young people, used to call someone stupid.

痞子 pǐzi (pee dz)

A mild insult along the lines of “ruffian” or “riffraff.” The literal meaning alludes to medical conditions of the liver, spleen, or abdomen, suggesting that pǐzi are like a disease on society.

没起子 méi qǐzi (may chee dz)

Useless, stupid, a good-for-nothing. Literally “no ambition.”

弱智 ruòzhì (rwuh jih)

Idiotic, stupid. Literally “mentally enfeebled.”

玩儿闹 wánr nào (warr now)

Troublemaker, ruffian. Also means “to fool around” or “to run wild.” Beijing slang only. Literally “play and quarrel” or “play and loudly stir up.”

冤大头 yuān dàtóu (yren dah toe)

Fool. Literally “wrong bighead.”

浑球儿 hún qíur (hwen chyurr)

Good-for-nothing, rascal. Literally “unclear ball.” 浑 hun means “unclear” or “dirty,” as in 浑水 hún shuǐ (hwen shway), or “dirty water.” Typically employed by parents to reprimand their kids. Used in northern China.

脑残 nǎocán (now tsahn)

Means “mental retardation” or “a mental disability” and is a popular insult among young people. One usage is 你脑残吗? nǐ nǎocán ma? (nee now tsahn ma), meaning “Are you retarded?” or “Is there something wrong with your head?”

脑有屎 nǎo yǒu shǐ (now yo shih) or 脑子里有屎 nǎozi lǐ yǒu shǐ (now dz lee yo shih)

Shit in the brain. Popular among young people.

The supernatural

瘟神 wēn shén (when shen)

A mild insult along the lines of “troublemaker.” Literally “god of plague,” referring to Chinese mythology. Considered old-fashioned now in much of China, but still used quite a bit in Sichuan Province and some southern areas.

鬼 guǐ (gway)

Means “devil” or “ghost.” Not typically used as an insult in of itself, but often added onto adjectives to turn them into pejoratives. For example, if you think someone is selfish, or 小气 xiǎo qì (shyaow chee), you might call them a 小气鬼 xiǎo qì guǐ (shyaow chee gway), literally “selfish devil.”

见鬼 jiànguǐ (jyinn gway)

Literally “see a ghost.” Can be exclaimed alone to mean something like “Damn it!” or “Crap!” or “Oh shit!” But it is not profane like some of those English equivalents. Can also be used as an intensifier, as in 你见鬼去吧! nǐ jiànguǐ qù ba! (nee jinn gway chee bah), which literally translates as “you see a ghost leave” but means “Go to hell!” or “Fuck off!” or “Get the hell out of my face!”

Rural insults

土 tǔ (too)

A pejorative with a broad range of meanings. It literally means “dirt” or “earth” and, most broadly, is used to describe an unsophisticated or uncultured person, much like “redneck” or “yokel” or “hick.” Someone who spits on the floor while indoors, doesn’t line up to buy things, or who can’t figure out how to use the ticket-vending machine in the subway, might be called tǔ. Tǔ can also be a generic, somewhat all-purpose put-down, like “dork.” More recently, tǔ refers to someone out of touch with aspects of modern society-for example, who doesn’t know how to use the Internet.

土包子 tǔ bāozi (too baow dz)

Someone who is tǔ. (Tǔ is an adjective while tǔ bāozi is a noun.) One explanation for this term is that 包子 bāozi (a steamed, breadlike bun with meat or vegetable filling) is a common food in poor, rural areas, and so tǔ bāozi indicates that the person comes from the countryside.

老冒儿 lǎo màor (laow murr-the first syllable rhymes with “cow,” and the second rhymes with “burr”)

Northern Chinese slang for tǔ. Literally “old stupid” (though it can be said of anyone, not just old people). 冒 Mào is slang for “stupid” or “inexperienced” but is seldom used by itself anymore.

土得掉渣儿 tǔ de diào zhār (to duh dyow jar)

Ignorant, hick, unrefined. Literally “bumpkin shedding dirt,” suggesting that someone is so tǔ that dirt is falling off them. Used in northeast China.

农民 nóngmín (nohng meen-nóng has a long o sound, like in “bone”)

Literally means “farmer” or “peasant” (unlike in English, “peasant” is a neutral term in Chinese) but when said disdainfully can carry the same “country bumpkin” connotations as tǔ (above). However, nóngmín is not used nearly as often as tǔ.

柴禾妞儿 chái he niūr (chai huh nyurr)

An insulting term for a country girl, used in Beijing only.

没素质 méi sùzhì (may soo jih)

Literally “no quality.” Said, like tǔ, of someone who acts in uncivilized ways and means he or she has no upbringing, manners, or class.

不讲文明 bù jiǎng wénmíng (boo jyahng wen meeng)

Same meaning as méi sùzhì (above) but less commonly used. Literally “not speaking civilization.”

Extremely rude

烂人 làn rén (lahn ren)

Bad person. Literally “rotten person.”

缩头乌龟 suō tóu wūguī (swuh toe ooh gway)

Coward. Literally “a turtle with its head in its shell.”

臭 chòu (choe)

Stupid, bad, disappointing, inferior. Literally means “smelly” and is often added in front of insults to intensify them. So, for example, “smelly bitch” in Chinese, 臭婊子 chòu biǎozi (choe byow dz), is, as in English, much stronger than just “bitch.”

丫头片子 yātóu piànzǐ (yah toe pyinn dz)

A Beijing insult for a young girl who’s ignorant and inexperienced. 丫头 Yātóu means “servant girl.” Literally “servant girl piece.”

丑八怪 chǒubāguài (choe bah gwie)

An insulting term for an extremely ugly person. Literally “ugly all-around weird.”

泼妇 pōfù (pwuh foo)

Shrew, bitch. An insulting term for a mean, crazy woman. Literally “spill woman.”

三八 sānbā (sahn bah)

In Taiwan this just means “silly” and is said of both males and females, but on the mainland it is a very strong insult for a woman, similar to “bitch” or “slut.” (Though sometimes it just means “gossipy.”) Literally, it means “three eight,” for which there are two explanations. One is that during the Qing dynasty (1644-1911) foreigners were supposedly only allowed to circulate on the eighth, eighteenth, and twenty-eighth of each month, and thus foreigners were called, somewhat scornfully, sānbā for the three eights. Another explanation is that sānbā refers to International Women’s Day, which is on March 8. In contexts when it means “bitch” or “slut,” it’s common to amp up the strength of sānbā as an insult by saying 死三八 sǐ sānbā (sih sahn bah), literally “dead bitch,” or 臭三八 chòu sānbā (choe sahn bah), literally “stinking bitch.”

黄脸婆 huángliǎnpó (hwahng lyinn pwuh)

Slightly derogatory term for a middle-aged married woman. Literally “yellow-faced woman,” meaning that she is old and ugly.

白眼狼 báiyǎn láng (buy yen lahng-the last syllable is similar to “long” but with an ah sound replacing the o)

Ingrate, a ruthless and treacherous person. Literally “white-eyed wolf.” Both “white eyes” and “wolf ” are insults in Chinese.

你不是人 nǐ bú shì rén (nee boo shih ren)

You’re worthless; you’re inhuman. Literally, “You are not a person.”

你不是东西 nǐ bú shì dōngxi (nee boo shih dohng she)

You’re worthless; you’re less than human. Literally, “You’re not a thing” or “You’re not anything.”

不要脸 bùyàoliǎn (boo yaow lyinn)

Shameless, without pride. Literally “doesn’t want face.” Face is a central concept in Chinese culture and entire volumes have been written in attempts to fully explain its nuances, but suffice to say that losing face is bad, giving face is good, and not wanting face is unspeakably shameful-thus saying that someone is bùyàoliǎn is far more insulting than the English word “shameless” and conveys a complex mix of being somehow subhuman, pathetic, and so lacking in self-respect that you would willingly do things that no one else would be caught dead doing. Also used by women to mean “disgusting” and sometimes with 臭 chòu (cho, rhymes with “show”), which means “stinking,” in front to amplify it to 臭不要脸 chòu bùyào liǎn, or “absolutely disgusting.” Another common way to amplify the expression is to say 死不要脸 sǐ bù yào liǎn (sih boo yow lyinn), literally, “You don’t want face even when you die.”

去死 qù sǐ (chee sih)

Go die.

走狗 zǒugǒu (dzoe go-both syllables rhyme with “oh”)

Lackey, sycophant. Literally “running dog.” Said of a servile person with no morals who sucks up to more powerful people.

狗腿子 gǒutuǐzi (go tway dzz) / 狗腿 gǒutuǐ (go tway)

A variant of zǒugǒu (above). Literally “dog legs.” You may have heard of the term “capitalist running dog” or “imperialist running dog.” Mao Zedong used “dog legs” to refer to countries that were friendly with the United States.

滚 gǔn (gwen) or 滚开 gǔnkāi (gwen kigh) or 滚蛋 gǔndàn (gwen dun)

Go away; get lost.

老不死的 lǎo bù sǐ de (laow boo sih duh)

A rude term for an old person. Literally “old and not dead.”

老东西 lǎo dōngxi (laow dohng she)

Old thing. A rude term for an old person.

老模砢磣眼 lǎo mó kē chěn yǎn (laow mwuh kuh chen yen)

Literally “old wrinkle eyes.” An insulting term for someone old and ugly. Used in Beijing.

垃圾 lājī (lah gee)

Literally “trash” but can be derogatorily said of people as well. In Taiwan pronounced lè se (luh suh).

畜生 chùshēng (choo shung)

Animal, inhuman. Literally “born of an animal.” An extremely strong insult.

Slut and whore

In addition to the terms below, chapter 7, “Behaving Badly,” includes numerous words for “prostitute” that can also be used as strong insults.

骚货 sāohuò (saow hwuh-sāo rhymes with “cow”)

Slut (but can also be said of a man). Literally “lewd thing.”

贱货 jiànhuò (gin hwuh)

Slut (but can also be said of a man). Literally “cheap thing.”

婊子 biǎozi (byow dz)

Can literally mean “whore” but also used as a strong insult for a woman, equivalent to “bitch” or “whore.” Often strengthened to 臭婊子 chòu biǎozi (choe byow dz), literally “stinking whore.”

狐狸精 húlijīng (hoo lee jing)

Vixen, tart, slut. A woman who seduces other people’s husbands or boyfriends. Literally “fox-spirit,” referring to a creature from Chinese mythology. Slightly milder than the other terms for “slut.”

风骚 fēngsāo (fung sow, the latter rhymes with “cow”)

Slutty. Literally “sexy and horny.”

公共汽车 gōnggòngqìchē (gohng gohng chee chuh-the first two syllables sound like “gong” but with a long o, or oh, sound in the middle)

Slut, a woman who sleeps around. Literally “public bus,” as in “everyone has had a ride.” Similar to the English expression “the neighborhood bicycle.”

荡妇 dàngfù (dahng foo)

Slut. Literally “lustful woman.”

残花败柳 cán huā bài liǔ (tsahn hwah buy lew-liǔ rhymes with “pew”)

An insult meaning “old whore.” Literally “broken flower, lost willow.” Used mostly in northern China.