Off the Record

Chapter 23 JUST TELL ME

Liz shrugged Brady’s button-down back on, and he pulled a pair of loose basketball shorts out of a gym bag in the hall closet. He slid into the shorts and padded into the kitchen. He pressed a few buttons on the wall and soft music filtered in through hidden speakers.

Brady opened the refrigerator and rummaged through the contents. “I’m starving. Are you hungry?”

She yawned and got to her feet. “I think I’m all right.”

“What about some wine? I have a couple bottles of red,” he told her.

“Sure. I could go for some wine. What do you have?”

“I think this is a Pinot Noir,” he said, holding a bottle up. “That okay with you?”

She walked a few feet forward to examine the bottle. “Perfect.”

“You know, I think I could get used to the idea of coming home to you in my shirt, lying practically naked on my couch,” he said as he uncorked the wine bottle and poured them each a glass.

Liz’s heart stopped. Was he serious? She swallowed back her confusion about where they stood and accepted the statement for what it was.

“I would lie on that couch just waiting for you to come home and fuck me,” she said, stretching her arms over her head and letting his shirt ride up her thighs.

He walked a glass over to her. “You keep talking like that and I’m going to have to fuck you again.”

Liz took a glass out of his hand and tilted her head up to kiss him on the mouth.

“What the fuck is this, Brady?” someone practically screeched from the entranceway.

Liz broke away from Brady, and they both snapped their heads to the side. Heather was standing in the open doorway, wearing a black pantsuit and shooting daggers at them. Liz’s mouth hung open and she pulled Brady’s shirt down farther to try for some decency.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Heather?” Brady demanded, fury being an understatement. He pushed Liz behind him, but it was well past too late for Heather not to notice.

“The fucking door was open and I had some really important news for you. You weren’t answering your phone, so I came over in person, but apparently you were too busy fucking…” Heather shook her head in utter disbelief and red-hot anger. “Too busy fucking some college reporter to do your damn job!”

Brady shook his head and clenched his fists. “I don’t need to hear this shit from you. Just get in my fucking office, and I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” Heather yelled. “Do you know what this could do to you?”

“Heather!” he shouted, losing it completely. Liz jumped in surprise.

Heather stood up straighter, caught off guard by his outburst. Liz had never seen Brady look so angry before, and judging by Heather’s reaction, she hadn’t either.

“I will deal with you in a minute,” he growled.

“I’m going to get Elliott from the car,” Heather said, her eyes spitting fireballs at him. “He will talk some fucking sense into you.”

“Elliott is here, too?” Brady asked, his hands shaking with anger.

“Yes, and he deserves to know what shit you’re getting into, if we’re to salvage any of this.” She turned on her heel and walked out.

Brady turned around as soon as the door slammed shut and wrapped Liz up in a hug.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He said it over and over again, as if he was trying to convince himself as much as her.

“Are you okay?” he asked, drawing back to look at her.

All she saw in those big brown eyes was concern, not the anger he had spat at Heather, or the hunger he normally showed her, or the campaign mask, or the hardness he conveyed on the outside. Nothing she expected…just fear. What could he be afraid of?

“I’m okay,” she said softly, taking his hands in hers.

They were still shaking. She knew what had just happened. Their cover had been blown. Brady was going to withdraw from her. Tonight was their last night. She knew it just by looking at him. And yet she was more concerned with comforting him than worrying about that.

“Are you going to be okay?” Liz asked, sliding her hands up his chest and running her hand along his jaw. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his soft lips. It felt like good-bye.

“Let me deal with Heather and Elliott, okay? Don’t go anywhere,” he pleaded. She wasn’t sure how he expected her to go anywhere when she didn’t have a car, but she wasn’t planning on leaving him alone.

“I won’t. I’ll be here, Brady,” she said softly, trying to stay strong for him. “But what does this mean?”

“Don’t worry.” He kissed her hard. “Nothing is going to happen to us. I’m going to deal with it.”

“Brady,” she said, knowing that couldn’t possibly be the case.

“Baby, stop,” he said, clutching on to her. “I can’t handle this with all of those questions in your eyes. Just trust me.”

Liz nodded slowly. “Okay. I trust you,” she whispered as the front door banged open again.

Brady pulled away from her with a soft smile. “I’ll be right back.”

Liz watched him walk away from her as Heather entered with the short, beady-eyed guy Liz had seen following her around the past couple months. He must be Elliott…whoever Elliott was. Neither of them looked pleased.

Brady slid the office door open, and Heather and Elliott walked inside. Elliott shot one nasty look in her direction before passing Brady.

Liz sighed. Great. She was the bad guy in this.

Brady followed behind them and slammed the door shut with such ferocity it hit against the other door and popped back open.

She heard voices from the other room, which had to mean that they were yelling at one another. She glanced around and wondered whether she should put her dress back on and get ready to go. She was certain that by the end of this conversation, she would be saying good-bye to Brady and someone would be driving her home.

Liz tiptoed forward toward the door. She would rather hear everything that was being said than wait for Brady to tell her the sad news. What could be the worst thing that could happen if she got caught—she couldn’t see him anymore? That was already a real possibility.

Liz tried not to make a sound as she peered through the small opening in the door and listened in on their conversation.

“How long has this been going on, anyway?” Heather demanded. She was standing in front of the bay window, her arms crossed over her chest, leveling a hard stare at Brady.

“I don’t see how that is relevant information,” Brady growled.

“You’ve been off your game, Brady. Don’t think we haven’t noticed,” she said immediately. “Has it been going on all summer? Is this why we made that stupid appearance on campus? Because if you changed my fucking travel schedule for your little fuck buddy, I’m going to…”

“What?” Brady yelled. “What are you going to do if I changed anything for her?”

“Be fucking pissed off!” she yelled back.

“This is getting us nowhere,” Elliott said, placing his hand on Heather’s arm in an attempt to calm her down.

“He’s ruining everything, Elliott,” Heather grumbled. She turned away from them both. “I thought we were all in this together.”

“I’m not ruining anything. You’re blowing this out of proportion,” Brady said.

Liz gave a sharp intake of breath. She hoped it wasn’t heard from the other room, because Brady had surprised her. She couldn’t tell whether he was defending their relationship or simply saying that this hadn’t leaked to the press yet, so the campaign was still safe. Either way it was surprising. She felt as if everything was ruined.

“I’m blowing this out of proportion,” Heather said, whirling back around. “Are you out of your goddamn mind? You are sleeping with a college reporter, for Christ’s sake. Have you even read her terrible articles? Do you even care what she thinks of you? I read everything out there. It’s in fucking print that she thinks you’re a joke. Don’t come at me with some I want some pussy remark and expect me to take this lightly.”

“Really, Heather? How long have we been working together? Have I ever been the guy to jump at some random pussy? Honestly?” Brady asked, his voice cold and hard.

“Both of you stop it,” Elliott said, standing between them. “As your lawyer, I strongly encourage you to reconsider your position and calm down.”

His lawyer. Well, that makes more sense. He is skeezy enough for the job, Liz thought.

Brady took a few steps away from them, placed his hands on a shelf, and took several deep breaths until his hands stopped shaking. “Fine,” he said finally. “What are you guys doing here anyway? It’s the middle of the night.”

“Yates dropped out,” Elliott told him.

Liz’s mouth popped open. One of the competitors in the primary had dropped out of the race. That meant Brady had only one other opponent, Charles Hardy. This significantly increased Brady’s chances of winning. Hardy was a seasoned politician, but he didn’t have the financial backing, the charisma, or the name that Brady had.

“He dropped?” Brady asked, stunned by the new development.

“Yes, we drove all the way over here, because you weren’t answering your phone. We thought you would be interested to know what your competition looks like,” Heather told him. “It’s a different ball field with only one other guy. That makes it a horse race. We can win a horse race, Brady. We can win.” She whispered the last phrase as if she wasn’t sure he understood what it meant. This clearly meant a lot to her too.

“What does Alex think?” Brady asked, his voice betraying how hopeful he was about the outcome.

Liz had heard Brady mention Alex, his campaign manager, before. He didn’t like to talk about him or really anything about the campaign much when they were together, but she had gathered that Alex was a strategy man. He preferred to work behind the scenes and let Brady and Heather take the front on anything in the spotlight.

Heather glanced at Elliott and he nodded. “He said it’s a go. You push hard the next couple weeks…and I mean hard, Brady, not what you’ve been doing all summer. If you do that, you have it in the bag, and Alex knows his shit,” Heather said.

“Then I’ll do it,” Brady said simply, like it was the easiest decision he had ever made. “I’ll do whatever it takes to win. You both know that.”

“Then you’re going to have to get rid of the girl,” Heather said plainly.

“Heather,” Brady growled.

“I’m afraid I have to agree with her. Even if she hadn’t written those articles about you, she wouldn’t be an ideal choice. She’s too young, and she’s still in school. Brady, you need someone who makes you look electable, not someone who makes you look like you’re robbing the cradle,” Elliott piped in.

Liz felt as if she had been punched in the gut. Well, there it was all laid out before her. She was too young and didn’t make him look electable, aside from her slamming articles.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Brady asked, shaking his head.

“Brady, you want to win. So stop fucking around,” Heather cried. “This election is important.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” he yelled back at her. “Why does everyone think that I’ve forgotten? I’ve been giving everything I have to this campaign, and I’ve been doing it for a long time now. I know what’s at stake, all right?”

“Then you’ll get rid of her?” Elliott asked, lacking any compassion in his voice.

Liz felt as if she were sitting with her head resting under the guillotine, waiting for the blade to slice down. It was over. Both of them had told him it was done. That was that.

She couldn’t even breathe. She had to hear him say it. She had to listen to him agree even if it would break her.

“No,” he said softly, his anger tightly controlled.

Liz wasn’t even sure she heard him right, her heart was beating so loudly in her ears.

“What?” Heather and Elliott blurted out at the same time.

“She’s not going anywhere,” he said, meeting their gazes head-on.

Liz stood very, very still. Was he…No, she couldn’t have heard him right…

Heather rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Oh, please, you’re not going to risk everything for her.”

“You’re being irrational, Brady,” Elliott said.

“I fucking love her, okay?” he yelled back at them without any restraint. “So she’s not going anywhere…I love her.”

Liz stumbled backward away from the door she had been peering through. Her body tumbled forward through the entranceway to the living room, and she collapsed onto the couch, panting. Her mind was whirling all around her, and her hands were shaking.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God, she thought over and over again.

He loved her. Brady loved her. He had told them no. She couldn’t comprehend all of this right now. She just couldn’t.

He had never told her that he felt that way. She couldn’t have even guessed that he would feel that way. Her heart was fluttering all over the place, and she half felt as if she might throw up.

What would she say if he told her? What was he going to say when he came back out of that room? She couldn’t let him know that she had heard. She had to pretend she hadn’t. He hadn’t wanted her to eavesdrop. She had thought it was because he was going to give up on her, but it was actually because he loved her. She couldn’t even think the word without stumbling over it.

Liz heard the voice grow louder and the sound of the doors sliding open. She tried to calm down by breathing slowly and steadily, but she wasn’t sure if it was working. Would he know that she had heard him or would he assume she was freaked out? Because she was really freaked out.

The front door opened and closed a second later, and then Brady appeared again in the living room. The anger was gone from his face, but she wasn’t sure what it was replaced by. She usually could read him so well, but it was different now. He loved her.

“You’re still here,” he said softly, walking over and taking a seat next to Liz on the couch.

“I told you I wasn’t leaving,” she murmured, her voice shaking. She couldn’t keep it steady, and she knew it made her sound scared.

“Hey,” he said, reaching out and taking one of her trembling hands in his, “you’re not going anywhere.”

“What did they say?” she managed to get out.

“A lot of bullshit, but we got it worked out. Ted Yates dropped out of the race. I have a pretty busy month ahead of me leading up to the primary,” he told her.

“He dropped out?” she asked, hoping she sounded surprised.

“Yeah, you’ll hear about it tomorrow. I have a press conference at eight in the morning.”

Their conversation stalled and she waited for him to say something. She didn’t expect him to blurt out how he felt, but she was waiting for something…anything.

She asked the inevitable question. “What are we going to do now that they know, Brady?”

He paused before looking up into her eyes. She saw it then, what she hadn’t been able to figure out before. Holy shit! He loved her. He actually did. She swallowed hard and tried not to cry.

“Nothing is going to change, baby,” he said, reaching out and running his hand across her cheek. “They want me to win, so they’re going to make sure it doesn’t get out.”

“Oh,” she said softly, tears pooling in her eyes despite her best effort.

“Hey. Hey,” he said, brushing a tear off her cheek. “Don’t cry. We’ll be okay. We’ll make it through.”

She nodded and closed her eyes. So they were going to do the same thing? He loved her and they were going to continue to hide?

“I can’t believe they’re allowing that. I thought you always said that you would choose the campaign first.” She couldn’t help throwing his words back at him. She wanted him to tell her that he loved her. She wanted his confession to be to her, not to Heather and Elliott.

“I’m choosing both. They don’t get the choice,” he told her, bringing his lips down and kissing her tenderly.

They broke apart, and Liz looked up into his eyes, wondering what he was thinking. Did he think that they could hide forever? She couldn’t be the girl on the side the whole time. He loved her. She wanted to be out in the open with him so badly it pained her. But she couldn’t bring herself to say it. She couldn’t ruin their moment.

“I’m going to be so busy, and they’re worried about me having enough time for everything. I think we should lie low for a little while,” he told her.

“Lie low,” she said hollowly. What had they been doing?

“I want to keep you in my life, but I have responsibilities to the campaign.”

“The campaign,” she said. She felt like a broken record, repeating his words back to him.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to see you as much in the next month as I have. I still want to see you every chance I get, but I have a real shot of winning.”

“You’re going to win,” she told him openly for the first time. She had known all along, but she had never expressed her opinion.

He smiled then. “I hope so. I want to be as sure I’m going to win as you are,” he said, then kissed her again. “You know I don’t want to take time away from you, Liz.”

She waited for it. He had to say it. It was on the tip of his tongue.

“But this is a priority…”

“A priority,” she said, still reeling. He wasn’t going to say it. She could feel it. He wasn’t going to tell her.

“Liz,” he pleaded, forcing her to look at him fully, “please, tell me you understand. I need to get through the campaign.”

She snapped out of it and nodded. “I understand. We’re just going to stay the way we are,” she whispered.

Stay hidden, she thought sadly to herself.

“Lie low. I can do that,” she continued. “I was thinking of going to visit my friend in D.C. next weekend anyway. Then you won’t even have to think about it for a couple days. Give everyone some time to cool off.”

“D.C.? I didn’t know you were going to do that,” he responded quickly.

“My friend asked me before school let out. I wasn’t sure if I was going to have time to get away, but school ends this week and you…well, you’re busy,” she said softly, staring down at her hands.

“As much as I don’t want you to go anywhere, that might be a good idea for the weekend. Who knows what Heather will have me doing this week after our blowout,” he said with a chuckle. Liz couldn’t even manage one. “I’m going to miss you while you’re gone.”

“I’m going to miss you too,” she said.

He pulled her over into his lap and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Baby,” he said.

“Yeah,” Liz murmured, hoping that he would tell her how he really felt.

“We still have the rest of the night together, at least.”

“Then we should use our time wisely,” she whispered.

“Yes, we should,” he said, hoisting her into his arms and carrying her upstairs.