Other people

Fifteen Francine

Of course I had no intention of staying the night. The minute I came in the door I knew I could not go on living there while Koslak was still on the loose. All I wanted to do was to stuff a few things I needed into a canvas duffel and get the hell out of there fast. I was jumpy about Thomassy's meeting with Dr. Koch that evening, and I thought I'd just keep myself busy after work by driving up to the apartment, getting what I wanted real quick, and scramming. I planned to drive up to Mom and Dad's. By the time I got there, the meeting with Dr. Koch would be over. I had asked each of them to call me afterwards, and I hoped at least one of them would.

The doorbell ring had the same effect on me as sticking a hairpin in an electric outlet. I'd done it once at the age of three and still remembered. Who could it be?

At first I wasn't going to answer at all.

It rang again. Then a voice said, "It's the super."

At the door I said, "I didn't call you."

"There's a leak in the ceiling in the apartment below. I have to shut your kitchen water off."

He'd been in the apartment several times for various things and had never given me any trouble. I had to let him in, didn't I?

I slipped the safety chain, unbolted the deadlock, and opened the door. At least with him there, I'd be safe from Koslak. I noticed he wasn't wearing his prosthetic arm. He went right into the kitchen, carrying a big plumber's wrench in his good hand, and I went into the bedroom to finish putting my extra underthings, pajamas, and et ceteras into the duffel I had gotten down from the closet. I was almost finished. I figured I could tell him I was going out and just go. He could lock up on his own if I left him the key to the deadlock. On second thought, that wouldn't be a good idea. It never occurred to me to go into the kitchen to watch him turning off the water under the sink. I find it embarrassing to watch any repairman because I don't like people staring at me while I'm working.

Then I heard the super in the living room. He must have finished.

He was already at the door, about to open it, and I said, "Did the water do a lot of damage?" and he said, "Not too bad." Then I asked him when he would be able to turn the water back on because I was going away and he couldn't get into the apartment if the deadbolt was on. I didn't want to hang around.

"You've got water now," he said. "I found the problem."

It didn't sound right to me.

"You sure?"

"Sure."

"Well, thank you," I said, and watched him unbolt the door. He opened it, but instead of going out, well, he let Koslak in. Koslak quickly locked the door behind him, and they both just stood there, staring at me.

I said, "I was just getting ready to leave." They mustn't see how terrified I am.

I went to the bedroom, zipped up the duffel, and came back out to the living room. They were still in front of the door.

"Excuse me," I said. The super was about to step aside when Koslak put his hand on the super's good arm.

"You know why we're here," Koslak said to me.

"I'm late for an appointment," I said.

"We won't keep you too long," Koslak said with that tight grin.

We. Both of them. Oh no.

"It's a doctor's appointment," I said.

"Oh, you sick?" asks Koslak.

I didn't answer. He said, "Is it catching?"

If I said I have the clap, would that put them off? I could feel the constriction in my throat.

"Please," I said to the super, "the doctor charges fifty dollars whether or not I show up."

The super looked at Koslak. Koslak said, "What kind of doctor charges fifty dollars, a shrink?"

I nodded.

"Well, that's easy. If you get laid enough, you won't need a shrink."

The super laughs at this.

"Please let me call him."

The super looks at Koslak again.

"No calls." Then to the super, "Don't want to spoil the party, right?"

The super looks uncomfortable. Is it possible he didn't know Koslak intended to force me? I appealed to him. "Please?"

Koslak's worrying about the super, I can see that. He said, "Everybody stay calm. Just give me the number, I'll call."

I tell him Koch's number. Koslak goes to the kitchen phone. The super remains at the door.

Koslak yells from the kitchen, "Give me that number again, doll."

I repeat the number slowly, trying to control the tremor in my voice.

"Where are you going?" he snaps at me.

"I need a glass of water." My throat is tightening.

I run a glass of water from the tap. I swallow once or twice. I just cannot drink it all. It's as if my throat had narrowed to the closing point. Think fast.

"Tell the doctor…" I said.

"I know what to tell him," Koslak snapped.

He dialed, then put his hand over the mouthpiece. "Shit," he said, "it's an answering service."

"Tell them to give Dr. Koch a message."

Koslak said, "This is a message for Dr. Koch." Then to me, "What message?"

"Tell them it's Francine Widmer. Have to cancel. I'm having a repeat of my problem. I—"

"Hold it?" Koslak shouted. "I can't remember everything."

"Let me tell them."

"No!"

"Tell them to tell Dr. Koch I need au secours urgently."

"What the fuck's that?"

"My medicine."

"You don't have any?"

I shake my head.

"Say it again."

I repeated it. Koslak said to the service, "This is some damn medicine she needs. Osekure." Then to me. "They want me to spell it."

"A-U-S-E-C-O-U-R-S."

He repeated each letter after me, then hung up.

"She got it. Now you're going to get it. There's a little medicine old Jason here and I need."

Koslak pointed to the bedroom.

Think. Will Koch understand my message. Even if he does, will he know what to do? Maybe Thomassy'll know what to do. If they get the message. In time. Anything to delay. This is a new experience for the super, he's looking hesitant. Take a chance.

I took several steps in the direction of the super. Not too close. "Please," I said to him, "don't make me do anything I don't want to."

Koslak's shout cut across the room. "This is my show!" he bellowed. I threw my arm across my face because I could see the slap coming as he rushed at me. The flat of his hand hit my arm, which only made him more angry as he grabbed my other arm, twisted it hard behind my back just like the last time. Stay on your feet.

He pushed and pulled me by my arm, twisting to get me to my knees. I must try to scratch, get some skin under my fingernails. I must try to get at least one hair. I must try to tear some clothes. I must not douche afterwards. The hell with proof, I didn't want to let it happen!

That's when I started screaming. I screamed and screamed and screamed, as he twisted me down to the carpet.

I remember his slapping me across the face once or twice to stop me, but it was I who stopped myself, exhausted. He had let me go.

I lay there looking up at both of them.

"That did you a lotta good, didn't it?" said Koslak. "Nobody heard."

Somebody must have heard.

I listened. If anyone had heard, no one was doing anything about it. Nobody wants to get involved.

"What if somebody comes?" I heard Jason whisper.

Koslak didn't bother whispering. "We heard the screaming, too, didn't we? We came to investigate, to see what we could do, right? It's our word against hers, and there're two of us."

I said to Koslak, "Can I stand up? I want to talk."

"I came here to fuck, not talk."

"I want to talk to you about that," I said.

"I'm gonna ram it so hard you'll feel it come outa the top of your head. What have you got to say about that?"

I started to get up. My arms hurt. My face hurt. "I want to talk about what turns you on."

Koslak turned to the super. "Knocking her on her ass is what turns me on."

"Do you ever look at those magazines?" I said.

"What magazines?"

The super, the quiet one, said, "Skin."

"Is that what you mean?" said Koslak.

I nodded.

"So what?"

"You want to see my skin?" I said.

The super was looking very unhappy. Koslak gave him a pat on the ass, saying, "This is going to be all right, man."

"If you like to see skin…" I said. I opened one button of my blouse.

"Listen," said Koslak. "Who the fuck you think you're kidding? Take your clothes off before I rip them off."

I opened another button. How long could I keep this going?

"Come on!" Koslak yelled, coming toward me.

"Okay," I said, "okay," and opened my blouse all the way. The super is looking. Koslak is looking.

"Don't that make the gism tighten your balls, man?" Koslak said to the super. "Great tits."

I am watching them both.

The super is watching me as if he's appreciating a statue. If the circumstances were different, it might be a compliment.

"We ain't got all day," said Koslak. "Take it all off. I want to see the beaver."

I let the blouse slip off my arms.

"All of it," he yelled.

I don't want him to touch me.

"Hurry up. If you don't want to go into the bedroom, lie back on the couch and spread it."

He sees how frightened I am. He's feeding on my fear.

"Just a minute," I said, and I went for the kitchen, with Koslak following right behind me fast, saying, "What's up? Where you going?" but he didn't do anything to stop me till he saw me reach up to the magnetic knife rack above the sink and then it was too late. For a split second I almost took the meat cleaver. I'd cut chicken into parts with it, whacked fish heads off, but using it against a human being? It was self-defense, wasn't it? The knife I took was the bread knife.

I thrust it at him foolishly. He was too far away.

"Wait a minute," he said. What frightened me was the twisted pleasure of his smile. He likes the possibility of violence.

"Don't come near me," I said, holding the knife out in front of me, point toward him. I wished I knew how to use it. I knew I was doing it wrong.

When I moved forward, he moved back. He was looking to grab my arm.

I had walked him back into the living room. The super saw the knife. "Hey, Harry," he said, "this isn't my scene."

"It's your scene now," Koslak said. He had that commanding shake in his voice. "Get behind her," he said. "She can't take on two of us."

I was backing toward the front door when I thought I heard voices outside. I screamed with full lungs. The super really looked frightened, but Koslak lunged for my arm. I tried to strike at him with the knife, but he grabbed my wrist and twisted so hard I felt the pain shoot up to my shoulder. I dropped the knife. Instantly he stooped and picked it up.

The doorbell rang. "Open up," a voice said. "Police officers."

Koslak was standing there with the knife when the super stepped behind me and unlocked the door. The two policemen had guns in their hands.