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Forty Thomassy

To avoid getting into an Alphonse-Gaston routine, I went to see Brady in his office.

"An honor," said Brady.

"Sure," I said.

I asked him if Koslak meant anything special to him.

"A fee."

"Period?"

"Period."

"What do you think Koslak will get?"

Brady laughed. "An easier piece of ass the next time. What can I do for you, Thomassy?"

"I'm not prosecuting the case. Lefkowitz is."

"Too bad in a way. Some people around the courthouse might pay to see a Brady-Thomassy play-off." Brady's face suddenly lost all expression. "I've seen that punk kid work. I'll get Koslak an acquittal or probation easy."

"Not if you have any ballsy women on that jury."

"Look, Thomassy, you know I'm not going to have any women on that jury. I got a little something worked up that won't even use up my peremptories. You come around. You'll enjoy it."

"I'd like to let you in on a little of my strategy."

"Lefkowitz's."

"Mine. Lefkowitz is going to be my Charlie McCarthy on this case."

"Good trick if you can do it. One step out of line and I'll have you removed from the courtroom for interference. By the judge, of course."

"I'm tutoring Lefkowitz."

"Sure."

He was wanting to hear but not to show it.

"I've got an expert witness."

"Look, Thomassy, I'm bored with all that psychiatrist shit. I'll tear him to pieces."

"I didn't have a psychiatrist in mind. I think the jury needs to understand the difference between seduction and rape, between normal sex and abnormal sex."

"And?"

"My expert is Anna Banana. The subpoena will read Anna Smith. You know this expert?"

Brady had the no-expression curtain on his face, but he couldn't immobilize the small, dancing tic near his upper lip. He picked up a paper clip and opened it into a single not very straight piece of wire. Finally, he said, "What's that to me?"

"I'm planning to have her files subpoenaed, too. There'll be a connection."

"You're bluffing. You'll never get her on the stand."

"Lefkowitz has a law school classmate in the Manhattan D.A.'s office. This friend has quite a file on Anna Banana, but Lefkowitz's friend has generously arranged for the lady to continue her eccentric livelihood. It seemed an important consideration to her, which is why we expect her to testify gladly. For a fee. I'm quite convinced her expertise in what is normal is based on more professional experience than most psychiatrists have. She's got quite a bit to say about men who, say, rape instead of paying for their special requirements."

"You finished, Thomassy?"

"There's a second and more expensive witness. However, my client is willing to foot the bill from Amsterdam."

I was certain Brady was thinking where he could get my arms and legs broken for a price.

"Oh," I said, "and of course Lefkowitz will be calling Dr. Koch."

"That son of a bitch!"

"Why'd you say that?"

"I heard he was a son of a bitch."

"Could it be you heard he managed to repel an intruder?"

Brady flinched when I touched my eye. He knew I knew.

"Thomassy, I don't know why you're rolling in all the heavy artillery. Some twat gets laid by someone she didn't pick and you're acting like there was a million-dollar construction contract at stake."

"I'd appreciate your characterizing my client differently."

"I forgot you had a piece of her."

"Anna Banana, Amsterdam, Koch. Could be an interesting array of experts."

"What's your suggestion, Thomassy?"

"Cop a plea for Koslak. No trial. You got your retainer. I might talk Lefkowitz into first degree assault."

Brady bent the wire into a circle.

"Trespass."

"You've got to be kidding, Brady. Her father's a lawyer. He sent her to me. I can't come up with a Mickey Mouse."

"I'll discuss second degree with my client."

"Thank you. Oh by the way, Brady, are you acting for the superientendent?"

"No."

"Know who is?"

"Nah. He said something about Legal Aid."

"I have a feeling, Brady, that the super didn't know what Koslak was letting him in for."

"You kidding? Koslak told me that guy bangs half the women in that block. It's better than being a milkman."

"If he gets all that ass without much hassle, what'd he want to rape the Widmer woman for? Or was he just going along for what he thought was another free ride?"

"What're you up to, Thomassy? You don't have to think of using him as a witness. I told you I'm talking to Koslak to cop a plea."

"That was the last thing on my mind, Brady. I had another idea."

Outside, I stretched my arms, pleased with myself. Francine wouldn't have to go through with the mess. And I wouldn't have to burn on the sidelines in court, watching Lefkowitz bumble. All I had to do was get Francine out of that apartment for good. The American system of justice is a lovely way to kill two birds with one stone.