Punishment aka What Is Mine

ELEVEN

Emilie couldn’t understand why Kim had been allowed to go. It was unfair. She had come first, so she should be the first one to go. And Kim had gotten a Coke, whereas she had to drink tepid milk and water that tasted of metal. Everything tasted of metal. The food. Her mouth. She chewed and sucked her own tongue. It tasted like money, coins that had been in someone’s pocket for a long time. A long, long time. Long before she had come here. Too long. Daddy wasn’t looking for her anymore. Daddy must have given up. And Mommy wasn’t in Heaven, she was ashes and dust in an urn and didn’t exist anymore. It was so bright. Emilie rubbed her eyes and tried to shut out the sharp glare from the strip light. She could sleep. She slept nearly all the time. It was best that way. Then she could dream. And in any case, she had nearly stopped eating. Her stomach had shrunk and there wasn’t even room for tomato soup anymore. The man got angry when he collected the still-full bowls. Not really angry, just irritated.

Kim had been allowed to go home.

That was unfair and Emilie couldn’t understand why.