Punishment aka What Is Mine

TWENTY-NINE

Sarah just disappeared. Emilie woke up and was alone. She had a really sore head and for once it was completely dark in the room. Emilie must have gone blind. She lay still for a long time, just staring up. Opened and closed her eyes, opened and closed. There was no difference. Maybe a little lighter when her eyes were shut, if she looked really hard. But then dots swam in front of her. When she really squeezed her eyes shut, the dots turned into big bubbles, red and blue and green bubbles. Emilie laughed and was blind. She wanted to sleep some more. Her head hurt but she smiled. Wanted to sleep. Then she thought of Sarah.

“Sarah?” she called out. “Where are you?”

No one answered. There was no one lying next to her either. Good. The bed was not really big enough for both of them. And in any case, Sarah wasn’t that nice. She boasted a lot. Boasted and cried all the time. Couldn’t cope when the man appeared. Screamed and pressed herself against the wall. Just didn’t get it. Didn’t understand that the man made sure that they had enough air. When Emilie poured her tomato soup down the toilet so the man wouldn’t be upset that she didn’t like his food, Sarah threatened to tell on her.

“Sarah? Sarahsarahsarahsarah!”

No, she wasn’t there.

The light came on like a huge explosion. It threw itself at her from the ceiling. Emilie groaned and curled up in a ball with her arms over her head. The light was like arrows piercing her face and her eyes were trying to creep into her head and disappear.

“Emilie?”

The man was shouting to her. She wanted to answer but couldn’t open her mouth. The light was too strong. The room was bright white, all white and silver and gold. Glitter that cut her skin.

“Emilie, are you sleeping?”

“Nssssnoshh…”

“I just thought it might be good for you to have some dark for a change. You’ve been fast asleep.”

His voice was not by the bed. It was in the doorway, by the cold door. He was frightened that it would close behind him. It was nearly always like that. He seldom came in. Emilie slowly let her arms sink down to the mattress. Breathe. In. Out. Open your eyes. The glitter hit her. She tried again. She was no longer blind. When she turned her face toward the voice, she saw that the man was all dressed up.

“You look good,” she said quietly. “Nice jacket.”

The man smiled.

“You think so? I have to go away. You’ll be on your own for a few days.”

“Nice pants, too.”

“You’ll be fine on your own. I’ll leave plenty of water, bread, jam, and cornflakes over here.”

He put down two plastic bags.

“You’ll have to make do without milk. It would only go sour.”

“Mmmm.”

“If you’re good and don’t do anything stupid while I’m away, you can come up and watch TV with me one evening. Have some candy and watch TV. On Saturday, maybe. But only maybe. That depends on how you behave. Do you want the light on or off?”

“On,” she said, quick as a flash. “Please.”

His laugh was strange. It almost sounded like a little boy who didn’t quite know what he was laughing at. It was as if he was forcing himself to laugh but didn’t think that anything was funny. High and hard.

“I thought as much,” he said curtly and left.

Emilie tried to sit up. The man mustn’t turn off the air machine, even though he was going away. She felt so weak and slumped on her side in the bed.

“Don’t turn off the air machine,” she cried. “Please. Don’t turn off the air machine!”

If only she knew which nail was actually a camera, she would fold her hands and beg. Instead she put her mouth right up to a small spot on the wall, just above the bed.

“Please,” she cried to the spot that might be a microphone. “Please give me air. I will be the best girl in the world; just don’t turn off the air!”