Ruined

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Sam

I watched the whole thing, seen only by Heckle. Death wasn’t what I expected. There were no flying angels and large golden harps. The light at the end of the tunnel—or in my case, the woods—was a brewing storm with occasional lightning overhead. The gates of heaven hadn’t appeared, along with Saint Peter, to welcome me in.

Probably because of the deal I’d made.

I couldn’t see it from here, but when we’d sealed the deal, a small black mark appeared on the inside of my wrist. It sort of resembled a star, only with an extra point. There was no way for Jax to win this thing. Not on his own. This was the only way I could help.

With my life attached to Chase, Jax would be crippled by his feelings. The only way to give him an advantage was to remove myself from the situation. So I had.

Jax was savage. With me gone, he attacked Chase with a ferocity that was both beautiful and frightening. But he and Chase were evenly matched. They traded blows, Jax bearing down and kicking hard as Chase crumbled to the ground, then in an instant, Chase recovering and delivering a blow that brought Jax down.

“I’m glad you decided to fight,” Chase said as they got to their feet. “With all the past between them, Zenak didn’t want an empty victory.”

Jax’s expression stayed stony. He dodged to the left, avoiding Chase’s next blow, and followed with one of his own. It landed in the center of his brother’s chest, sending him sprawling back into the trees behind them. “There’s no victory here. No matter what the outcome is, we all fucking lose.”

As the men fought, Heckle came up beside me. “The deal we made is keeping your soul here, but it can’t stay in the void for long. Are you sure you want to continue?”

“I sure as hell don’t want to stay dead…”

After Heckle confessed to being something more than a normal demon—a keeper of balance—I’d laid out my plan. Stop my heart long enough for Jax to take Chase down. He said it would be easy—with the proper payment—to bring me back, but warned that the aftereffects would be unpredictable. And that was besides the whole hell on earth thing. If Jax did kill Chase—which I assured him wouldn’t happen—we were in a whole world of fucked.

Heckle didn’t share my faith in Jax. He felt that, after seeing me fall, he’d be enraged enough to take his brother’s life, spilling royal blood and restoring Azirak’s clan to its full glory. If I was wrong and Jax did in fact kill Chase, balance would need to be restored—starting with the nullification of our deal. I’d stay dead.

I’d made my choice knowing all that. I accepted it. If there was ever anyone I’d bet my life on, it would be Jax Flynn.

Chase launched himself forward and hurled his brother in the direction of the rock, but Jax threw his weight to the side, reversing their direction and strengthening the momentum. It was Chase who crashed against the boulder, not Jax.

“Do you regret it? Any of it?” Jax growled.

Chase struggled, but not as hard as he could have. “I regret all of it. And at the same time, none of it.” His head fell back against the stone as his body went limp in Jax’s grasp. “You were right. She was right. You were the strong one. I gave in far too easily and you were able—willing—to fight. My demon is strong, but you…the human is strong. When you found out Rick knew all along, didn’t you wonder?”

It was dark now, and in the distance, a coyote howled, followed by the hoot of an owl.

Chase stopped struggling, but Jax was no fool. He didn’t let up. “Wonder what?”

“Why he sent you away instead of me?”

“Yeah.” I couldn’t see his face, but his voice sounded sad. “It crossed my mind.”

“I think it’s because he knew I’d never be able to handle it. He sent you away because you were stronger. He had more faith in you, man.”

“There’s still time.” Jax finally loosened his hold and pulled away a few inches. I felt a bubble of justification, and turned and stuck my tongue out at Heckle. I knew it! “Neither one of us has to die.”

“You’re wrong, Jax. I’ve got the wheel, but it won’t last much longer. You need to take me out, because I swear to you, if you don’t, I will kill you. It might not be today, or even tomorrow, but it’ll happen. Zenak won’t rest until its clan is restored, and I won’t lie. I hate you. I love you, brother, but I hate you, too.”

Jax hovered over his brother and I held my breath.

After what seemed like a lifetime, he stepped away and let Chase get up. “Go as far from here as you can get. Don’t come back. Don’t even think about this place.”

Chase hesitated, sliding off the rock’s surface and taking several steps away from his brother. He had to be thinking the whole thing was a trick. A ploy to catch him off guard and close in for the kill. “That’s it? You’re going to let me walk away?”

“You’re my brother,” Jax said. “Despite everything, I love you—but, like you said, I hate you, too. A kind of hate I’m sure you can sympathize with. I could easily kill you. I want to. More than you can possibly understand, I want to. After what you did to all those girls. And Sam… Don’t mistake this for mercy, because that’s not what it’s about.”

“What is it about, then?”

“Azirak, unlike Zenak, learned from its mistakes. It understands that if the clans are restored, there would be nothing left of this place. Everything, everywhere, would be laid to waste. Spilling royal blood would mean the end of earth as we know it, and Azirak likes it here. I like it here. This is my only choice.”

“This is a mistake,” Chase warned, and began backing away. His eyes fell to my still form lying in the dirt, and he shook his head. I couldn’t see clearly through the trees, but I thought there were tears in his eyes. “A huge mistake. Zenak’s not going to give up.”

Jax stared at his brother, saying nothing. Mistake or not, it was the only choice. The world would never be ready for either clan to regain dominance. With a final nod, Chase turned and bolted into the darkness. He was gone. It was over.

For now.

With the immediate threat gone, Heckle bent to retrieve my ruined body. Laying me on the ground in front of the rock, he stepped aside and Jax was there in an instant. I couldn’t feel his fingers as he brushed the hair from my eyes, and there was no sensation as he ran his palm over my forehead and across my eyes to close the lids. I could still hear, though. And that was worse than the pain I’d suffered as the knife pierced my skin.

“Good-bye. I’m sorry. It was my fault. It’s all shit. Empty fucking words that don’t mean a thing,” he whispered. “My life was always dark. From the moment I opened my eyes, all that surrounded me was black. And then there was you. The single brightest thing in this world. In my world. Now you’re gone. You’re gone and all I can see is black. If this is what Chase saw, I can understand—”

“What’s happened here changes nothing,” Heckle said, pulling Jax to his feet. “We made a deal.”

Jax was on his feet and in Heckle’s face. “It changes everything.” He jabbed a finger at my body. “She’s dead. Your terms mean nothing now.”

“Stand down, Tainted, and be calm.” Heckle knelt beside me. He whispered words too low to hear and placed a hand on either side of my head. There was a ringing noise and a rush of icy wind. Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe—which was insane since I was technically dead. A single word echoed. Rise. And everything went dark for a minute.

When my eyes opened, I was staring up into a sea of stormy gray. I didn’t need his ability to see emotions. It was all there on his face. Love. Shock. Hope. Awe. That, and more. The silver strand was back, wrapped and pulsing like a heartbeat around Jax, and connected to me. “Sammy? How—”

“She made a deal with me, too,” Heckle said as Jax helped me up.

The macabre stain running down the front of my shirt was a chilling reminder of what had happened. I gently pulled away from Jax and took a deep breath. There was a sense of freedom now that hadn’t been there before. My temporary death had done it. It’d broken the link between Chase and me. But even though that link was gone, there was still something there. Something different. This was bright and hopeful. Beautiful.

Jax threw his arms around me. The warmth from his body sent a shiver of contentment through me—until he was almost squeezing tightly enough to cut off all the air. “I thought I’d lost you.”

“I’m not that easy to get rid of,” I said, returning the embrace. As I sat there, cradled in his arms, the feeling grew stronger. More intense. I pulled away, searching his face, and the silver strand pulsated. “Do you see it?”

“See what?”

It was beautiful. Shining and warm and radiating. It was more pronounced than it had been right after the kiss. An almost-electric buzz that sent tingles up and down my spine. “I think—I don’t understand how, but I think we’re linked.”

He watched me for a moment, face paling. The look of horror made my breath catch. “No. It’s not possible. I didn’t—”

I shook my head. It wasn’t possible. Couldn’t be. Yet there was something there. It was unmistakable. “I know, but I’m telling you. There’s something there.”

“You two are linked,” Heckle confirmed, standing over us.

“It happened when Jax kissed me, didn’t it? I—I felt it. That didn’t happen when Chase linked us though.”

“There are different kinds of links. Ones created out of violence and necessity and ones created out of love. They each have their boons and faults. They each feel different.”

“Love?” I said. “Is that even possible from a demon?”

“Yes,” Jax said. He looked up at Heckle. “Demons can love, but I’m pretty sure they can’t bring the dead back. I don’t know a lot, but I know that. You—what are you?”

“As I told you both, I am a keeper of balance. For lack of a better term, I am balance. I’m not good or evil. I simply am. It is my job—mine and several others, that is—to ensure that the world keeps an even balance of good and evil.” He smiled. “I made a deal with both of you. I gave you the opportunity to make a choice. One would have kept the balance, and the other would have upset it. You both chose to sacrifice something in order to maintain it. You passed the test.”

I’d sacrificed my life to take away Chase’s unfair advantage and Jax sacrificed Azirak’s powers—and a peaceful existence—to keep the world free from the demon’s clan.

Heckle sank onto the large rock. “As I told Sam earlier, it was me to whom God came after your ancestor Cain slaughtered his brother, Abel. It was me who cursed his family.”

“You started all this? You—” Jax started forward, but Heckle held out his hand and Jax froze in place.

“This is not a fight you want, Tainted. Trust me.”

He lowered his hand and Jax could move again. But instead of lunging forward, he stayed by my side.

“Cain brought violence to the world. What was peaceful and perfect, he stole when he murdered me.”

“Murdered you?” Surreal had taken on an entirely new definition. If what he was saying was true, then we were talking to—

“I am Abel.” He afforded me a small smile. “Until my death, there was no need for someone like me. No need for balance. The world was pure. And then, with a single violent act, it was tainted. Blackness that you cannot imagine fell across the lands. It was like a plague, infecting every living creature on earth. In an effort to restore what was lost, God gave me Cain’s soul. It was poisoned by the crime he’d committed and had soiled the world beyond repair. The best I could do was bring some sort of balance.”

I shuddered, though I wasn’t sure it was from the cold. Abel. We were standing here with Cain’s brother, Abel.

“The damage was greater than you could possibly imagine,” he continued. The leaves rattled as the wind blew. “I couldn’t wipe the slate completely clean, but I was able to take the bulk of Cain’s darkness and redistribute it. It’s why your demon feeds off the darkest human emotions. They festered inside Cain, driving him to commit the crime that corrupted the world. Now, each one of his descendants is born with a small piece of that soul. Cursed to make a choice—carry out his crime again or fight until the stain is finally wiped away. Over the years, more Tainted came. Individuals whose horrific crime blackened souls were shattered and redistributed, but Cain’s… His was the first. His was the worst.”

Jax stared, mouth open and eyes wide. I knew exactly how he felt. “If you’re Abel, then why help Jax? Technically he’s part of the man who killed you.”

Heckle laughed. The sound was more eerie than amused, though. “I’ve been a long time on this earth, Sam. What my brother did to me doesn’t matter now. All that matters is maintaining a balance. I will never allow the blackness to overtake this place again.”

“But why stop at balance?” Jax asked. “Why not tip the scales in favor of good?”

“If only it were that easy. No,” he sighed. “Those days are gone. The best we can hope for is balance.”

“But how was letting Chase walk away balance? Why strike a deal with Jax and me?”

“Because in the long run, it will bring balance. As I said, you’ve passed my test.” He smoothed his shirt and stepped forward with a smile. “You both work for me. Think of it as subcontracting. From now on, you will help me maintain and restore balance.”

That was their agreement. Heckle allowed me to come back to the land of the living, and I offered up my services—whatever the hell that meant—to his cause. It seemed innocent, but now I wasn’t so sure. “Which I still don’t get. I get recruiting Jax—he’s a freaking demon—but me? What can I do?”

“There is much more to you, Samantha Merrick, than you are aware.” Heckle winked at me. “It wasn’t Jax who created the link. It was you.”