Sneaky Pie For President

Campaign Platform

You can check up on me at my website,

www.catprez.com

or my Facebook page,

www.facebook.com/sneakypiebrown

I promise never to lie to you.

I promise to reduce the tax burden on humans by utilizing a flat tax and closing all loopholes.

Any human over the age of ninety need not pay federal income taxes.

For animals who have served in the military, I promise retirement pay, and a discount at the veterinarian’s office.

For humans I promise they get to deduct veterinary bills.

I promise to work extra hard to see that veterinary schools receive important federal grants for research.

I pledge the use of abandoned federal buildings for homeless animals. This also includes farmland for abandoned quadrupeds.

I promise federal research money to study the effect of birdsong on human well-being. In England there is such a study at the University of Surrey. We need one here. Humans need emotional help.

In accordance with that need, I will strongly suggest that humans learn about animal languages and needs, beginning in grade school. Respect for all creatures starts young.