Sugar Street

165

At Abd Al-Rahim Pasha Isa's villa in Helwan, they were seeing out the last wave of the visitors who had come to say goodbye to him before his departure for the holy places of the Hijaz.

"Pilgrimage is an aspiration I've long nourished. God curse politics, for that's what has kept me from going, year after year. But a man my age must think about preparing for his forthcoming encounter with his Lord."

Ali Mihran, the pasha's deputy, said, "Yes, God curse politics!"

The pasha's feeble eyes looked thoughtfully at Ridwan and Hilmi. He commented, "Say what you like, but it has done me a favor I shall never forget. It has distracted me from my loneliness. An old bachelor like me would seek companionship even in hell."

Raising his eyebrows playfully, Ali Mihran asked, "Haven't we distracted you, Pasha?"

"Of course you have, but a bachelor's day is as long as a winter's night. A man needs a companion. I admit that a woman is an important necessity. I think often of my mother now. A woman is necessary, even for a person who does not desire her."

Thinking about quite different issues, Ridwan suddenly asked the pasha, "Suppose that al-Nahhas Pasha falls from power. Wouldn't you change your mind about leaving then?"

Waving his hand indignantly, the pasha replied, "Let that disgrace stay in power, at least until I get back from my pilgrimage". Then, shaking his head, he added, "We are all to blame, but pilgrimage washes away sins."

Hilmi Izzat laughed and observed, "You're a Believer, Pasha, even if that fact perplexes many people."

"Why? Belief is broad-minded. Only a hypocrite claims to be absolutely pure. It's foolish to suppose that a man commits sins only when belief is dead. Besides, our sins are more like innocent child's play."

Sighing with relief, Ali Mihran said, "What a beautiful statement! Now let me tell you frankly that I've often felt your determination to perform the pilgrimage to be a sinister omen. I've asked myself, 'Do you think this means repentance? Will it put an end to our pleasures?'"

The pasha laughed so hard that the upper half of his body shook. "You're a devil and the son of one. Would all of you really be sad to learn that I have repented?"

Hilmi groaned: "Like a woman whose newborn babe is slain in her arms."

Abd al-Rahim Pasha laughed again and exclaimed, "Shame on you! Bastards! If a man like me were truly to repent, he would have to preveat himself from seeing beautiful eyes and rosy cheeks and dedicate himself instead to visiting the tomb of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace."

Mihrs. n gloated: "In the Hijaz? Do you know what things are like there? I've heard from people who know. It will be out of the frying pan and into the fire for you."

Hilmi Izzat protested, "Perhaps it's just false propaganda like that spread by the English. In all of the Hijaz is there a face like Ridwan's?"

Abd al-Rahim Isa cried out, "Not even in paradise!" Then, as if experier cing a change of heart, he added, "But, you naughty boys, we were discussing repentance."

Ali Mihran said, "Not so fast, Pasha! You told me once about a mystic who repented seventy times. Doesn't this imply that he sinned seventy times?"

"Or a hundred?" Ridwan interjected.

Ali Mihran said, "I'm satisfied with seventy."

The pasha's face beamed with joy as he asked, "Will we live long enough for that?"

"May our Lord grant you a long life, Pasha. Set our minds at ease and tell us it's your first repentance."

'And the last!"

"Vain boasting! If you provoke me, when you return from the pilgrimage I'll meet you with a moon-faced beauty, or several of them, and then we'll see how long your repentance lasts."

Smiling, the pasha said, "The result will be as ugly as your face, you jinx. You're a devil, Mihran an indispensable devil."

"I praise God for that."

Almost in unison, Ridwan and Hilmi added, "We praise Him too."

The pasha said with proud delight, "You're my favorite companions. What value would life have without affection and friendship? Life is beautiful. Beauty is beautiful. Musical ecstasy is beautiful. Forgiveness is beautiful. You're young and look at the world from a special perspective. Life will teach you a lot. I love you and the world. I'm visiting God's sanctuary to give thanks, to ask forgiveness, and to seek guidance."

Ridwan observed merrily, "How handsome you are! You exude such serenity."

Ali Mihran remarked slyly, "With only a little friction, he'd exude something quite different. Pasha, you truly have been the mentor of an entire generation."

"And you're Satan himself, you son of a crone. My God if I'm ever called to account, I'll point to you and that will be an adequate excuse."

"Me! Unjustly accused, by God! I'm just an obedient servant."

"No, you're a devil."

"But an indispensable one?"

Laughing, the pasha answered, "Yes, you scoundrel."

"In your busy life I have represented and still do a touching melody, a pretty face, and constantly renewed happiness, your perfidious excellency."

The pasha moaned: "The old days! Children, why do we grow old? May your wisdom be exalted and glorified, my Lord. A poet said: My lance was not deflected by a foe's taunts. Auspicious times for it were dawn and dusk both".

Wiggling his eyebrows, Mihran said, " 'By a foe's taunts'? No, you should say, 'By Mihran.' "

"You son of a bitch don't spoil the mood with your nonsense. It's not right to joke around when we're reminiscing about those beautiful days. At times tears are more becoming than a smile, more humane, and more respectful. Listen to this too, by al-A'sha: She rebuffed me, but the Events she rejected Were baldness and white hair.

What do you think of the poet's use of'events'?"

Imitating a newspaper vendor, Mihran called out, "Events of the Day, the Egyptian, al-Ahram…"

Despairingly the pasha said, "It's not your fault but…"

"Yours!"

"Mine? I'm not to blame for your depravity. When we first met, you were so debauched that Satan would have envied you. But I won't allow you to spoil the ambiance created by these memories. Yes, hear this as well: Just as a stalk is ravished of Its leaves, so I was stripped of youth".

Pretending to be shocked by the sexual allusion, Mihran asked, "A stalk, Pasha?"

Looking at Ridwan and Hilmi, who were dissolved in laughter, the pasha said, "Your friend is a corpse with no feeling for poetry. But soon he'll reach the age of regrets, when the only beautieshe encounters will be referred to in the past tense". Turning toward Mihran, he asked, "What about our friends from the old days, son of a crone have you forgotten them?"

"Oh! May God preserve them. They were coy paragons of beauty."

"What do you know about Shakir Sulayman?"

"He was a Deputy Minister of the Interior and a pet of the English until prematurely pensioned off during the second or third government of al-Nahhas… I don't remember which. I think he has now retired to his estate at Kom Hamada."

"What marvelous days those were! What about Hamid al-Najdi?"

"He's had the worst luck of any of our dear friends. He lost everything and now tours the public lavatories by night."

"He was witty and charming but a gambler and a boisterous fellow. And Ali Ra'fat?"

"Through his 'exertions' he managed to become a member of the boards of directors of various corporations, but it's said that his reputation cost him a chance at a cabinet post."

"Don't believe what people say. Men whose notoriety has extended far beyond our kingdom have been appointed to the cabinet, but as I have often advised you, I think it is more important for us to develop a virtuous character than for others. If you can manage this, you won't need to worry about censure. The Mamluk sultans, recruited from a corps of military slaves, ruled Egypt for generations, and their descendants still enjoy high status and wealth here. What is a Mamluk? Nothing but a man who can be bought. Let me tell you a story of great import."

The pasha was silent for a time, as if collecting his thoughts. Then he said, "When I was the presiding judge of a court, a civil case concerning a contested inheritance was scheduled to be heard by us. Beforehand, some of the people involved introduced me to a beautiful young man with a face like Ridwan's, a build like Hilmi's, and…" He gestured toward Mihran as he continued: "The grace of this dog in his glory…. We saw each other for a time without my learning that he had a secret connection to the case. Then the day the case washeard, what did I know but he was representing one of the parties to the dispute. What do you think I did?"

Ridwan murmured, "What a situation!"

"I withdrew from the case, without any hesitation."

Ridwan and Hilmi displayed their admiration, but Mihran protested, "You didn't reward him in any way for his efforts?"

Paying no attention to Mihran's kidding, the pasha said, "But that's not all. Out of contempt for his morals, I ended my relationship with him. Yes, a man without morals is worthless. The English aren't the brightest people. The French and the Italians are smarter. But the English have mastered morality and this has made them masters of the world. That is my reason for spurning superficial, decadent beauty."

Ali Mihran asked merrily, "May I assume that my morals are satisfactory, since you've kept me on?"

Giving him a cautionary wave of the hand, the pasha replied, "There are many different moral qualities. A judge should be upright and just. A cabinet minister should have a sense of duty and a respect for the public welfare. A friend should be loyal and sincere. Without doubt you are a troublemaker and frequently a rogue. But you're honest and faithful."

"I hope I'm blushing."

" 'God does not impose more on a soul than it can bear.' In fact I'm content with the amount of good that's in you. Besides, you're a husband and a father, and those are virtues too. The happiness they bring can be appreciated properly only by people who must put up with silent homes. Even so, a silent residence is one of the torments of old age."

Somewhat disapprovingly, Ridwan observed, "I thought old people loved peace and quiet."

"The notions young people have about old age are erroneous. The ideas old people cherish about youth are vain regrets. Tell me, Ridwan, what do you think about marriage?"

Ridwan's face fell, and he answered, "You already know what I think about it, Pasha."

"There's no hope you'll change your mind?"

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

Ridwan hesitated a little and then said, "It's an amazing thing…. I don't really understand it. But I find women revolting."

The expression of the man's feeble eyes was sad as he commented, "What a pity! Don't you see that Ali Mihran is a husband and a father? Your friend Hilmi advocates marriage. I feel doubly sorry for you, since I also pity myself I have often been perplexed by what I've read and heard about the beauty of women. Out of respect for the memory of my mother, I've kept my opinion to myself] loved her dearly, and she died in my arms as my tears fell on her brow and cheeks. I hope ever so much, Ridwan, that you can overcome your problems."

Looking frightened and somber, Ridwan said, "A man can live without a woman."

The pasha replied, "That's not so difficult, and you may be able to ignore the doubts of other people. Yet what about your own questions? You can say you find women disgusting, but why don't other men feel that way? You fall prey to a feeling that's almost like a disease, an incurable one. It leads you to withdraw from the world and is the worst possible companion for your solitude. Then you may be embarrassed to despise women without having any choice about it."

Ali JVHhran snorted cynically and complained, "I had promised myself a cheery evening together for our farewell party."

Laughing, Abd al-Rahim Pasha said, "But it's a farewell party for a pilgrim. What do you know about seeing off pilgrims?"

"I'll see you off with prayerful invocations and welcome you back with rosy-cheeked beauties. We'll find out what you do then.'*

Clapping his hands together, the pasha answered jovially, "I entrust my fate to God Almighty."