Terrible tsarinas

«175»

Terrible Tsarinas spectators who prostrated themselves as the carriages went by, making the sign of the cross and calling out their blessings and good wishes for the young couple and the tsarina. Never did so many candles glow in the Cathedral of Our Lady of Kazan.

Throughout the liturgy, Elizabeth was on the lookout for one of her nephew’s little stunts, having come to expect some disruption from him during the most serious occasions. But the service went off without a hitch, including the exchange of rings. After risking ankylosis by standing upright throughout the service, the assembly then flexed its legs at the ball that, of course, capped the day’s festivities.

However, no matter how much she enjoyed dancing, Elizabeth kept her mind on the essential matter - which was not the Church blessing, and far less the minuets and the polonaises, but the coupling which, in theory, should soon take place. By 9:00 in the evening, she decided that it was time for the young couple to withdraw. As a conscientious duenna, she led them to the bridal apartment. The matrons and maids of honor, all a-twitter, gave them escort. The grand duke discreetly disappeared to don his night clothes. The grand duchess’s maidservants took advantage of the husband’s absence to dress the young lady in a chemise that was tantalizingly transparent, and capped her hair with a light bonnet of lace; she was put to bed under the vigilant eye of the empress. When Her Majesty judged that “the little one” was “ready,” she exited - with theatrical slowness. She would have loved dearly to be able to see what happened next. Would her wretched nephew be able to summon up enough manhood to satisfy this poor young girl? Wouldn’t they need her helpful advice?

Catherine looked frightened and had tears in her eyes - a virginal apprehension that must only excite the desire of a normally constituted man. But how would the eccentric grand duke behave?

Might he not harbor an impotence that no woman could cure?