The Boudoir No. 5

CHOICE LETTER FROM THE GREEK OF ARISTENETUS

To see now what cunning gypsies these women are! The other day a certain woman of my acquaintance, walking in the market-place with her husband by her side, and a train of servants at her heels, saw a gallant of hers at some distance off, with whom she used to be familiar. She had a mighty longing to whisper something in his ear, and if possible to steal a kiss from him before her husband's face; so to bring the matter about, she pretends to fall upon her knee, and her gallant, who, as it seemed, understood her design, charitably lent her his hand to help her up; then down she tumbles again, and our gentleman was forced the second time to give her his assistance. "Oh! my poor wife," cried the cuckold, in a strange consternation, "I hope thou hast not hurt thyself."

"Troubled with such cruel fits!" cried she, and then made the third stumble. The gallant on one side, and the husband on the other, did what in them lay to set her on her legs again, but as her fits still increased, the husband, with the help of the kind gentleman, was obliged to carry her to the next tavern; the gallant chafed her hand, and rubbed her face; and all the while the fellow thanked him for the great pains he took with his wife; but finding her indisposition still increased, he ran downstairs like lightning to fetch a physician of his acquaintance to her, not daring to trust his servants with so important a message. In the meantime, lovers were not wanting to administer mutual consolation to each other; so by the time the husband came back with his doctor, his wife was exceedingly refreshed. The gallant was complimented a thousand times, for his civilities on this occasion: "Sir," says the man,

"I heartily beg your pardon for the trouble my wife has given you." — "Lord, sir!" answered he, "if it was to do ten times again, it would be no trouble." "But indeed it was too much, Sir." "Ffaith," cries the other, "I don't think I can ever do too much for her." "I swear but you have," says the busband, "I find she hath put you into a sweat, with helping her." In short, they drank a loving glass together; the wife pretended she was twenty per cent better than when she set out in the morning, the gallant was highly satisfied with what he had done, and the husband the merriest man alive, to see his wife so miraculously recovered.