The Boudoir No. 5

CURIOUS MILITARY LOVE-EPISTLE

Written by a Subaltern Officer to a young Lady

Dear Miss, I have been informed by the secretary of the news, that the fire of love was kindled among the faggots of your soul, and that, as your father is a bricklayer, you had taken the trowel of your senses, to build up the wall of our affections with the mortar of constancy. It is on this account that I also would light up the fire of my indifference, in order to cook the flesh of my affection in the pot of your beauties. But if, when I make my approaches, you should retire to the citadel of indifference, I shall then arm myself with the panoply of patience, till I can batter your covered way with double-headed shot, backed with bombs and mortars — at least I shall not desist from my attack upon you, unless, after throwing my bombs, I should be so fortunate as to spring the mine of multiplication, and blow you up with the powder of pregnancy and propagation.

I am, dear Miss, yours, amp;c.

Ensign Flame.