The Crossover

Even Vondie

has a girlfriend now.

She wants to be a doctor one day.

She’s a candy striper

and a cheerleader

and a talker

with skinny legs

and a butt

as big

as Vermont,

which according to her

has the best tomatoes,

which she claims

come in all colors,

even purple,

which she tells me

is her favorite color,

which I already know

because of her hair.

This is still better

than having

no girlfriend at all.

Which is what I have

now.