The empress of ice cream

Carlo

Ices, like revenge, are best served cold: but like revenge, too much cold will blunt the taste.

The Book of Ices

It seemed that nothing could stop her conquest of that court. By the end of the year, Arhngton had been removed from office. In January it was Buckingham’s turn to be impeached, tried by the very same Parliament which he had helped to make so powerful, and whose votes he had tried to sell to France. At the last minute he tried to curry favour with his accusers, declaring that the fault was not his but the king and his brother’s. ‘I can hunt the French hare with a pack of dogs, but not with a brace of lobsters,’ he told them: a foohsh remark, for it lost him the support of the only two people who now stood between him and the Tower. In desperation he then announced that he had seen the error of his ways. He banished his mistress Lady Shrewsbury to a convent, reconciled himself with his wife, donned a hair shirt, and adopted the dress and habits of a Puritan. It saved his hfe but not his pride, and from then on he was a man without influence.

Charles stood by, and did nothing to help him.

Nell Gwynne got one of her cronies, old Tom Killigrew, to dash into the king’s presence in full riding gear, complete with a cape and a horsewhip. When the king asked him where he was going in such a hurry, the man cried, ‘To hell, to fetch Master Cromwell back to govern us, for he could do no worse than this.’ Charles looked on stony faced: for once his good humour abandoned him, and he said curtly, ‘Politics does not suit you, Nell, any more than it suits your friend George Buckingham. You

would do well to leave these matters to those who understand them.’

It was only Louise who could advise him now, along with Osborne and the new ambassador, Ruvigny. On her he lavished gifts - not simply jewellery, but fiefs, pensions, revenues and lands. She was the acknowledged mistress of his palace, his unofficial first minister, and the unacknowledged queen: the woman through whom all requests must pass, whose opinions became state policy; who made decisions for a king who would rather make none.