The Executioner

Thirty-Nine

He sat alone in his room watching the heavy rain hammering against the window. He liked rain, especially heavy rain. Its thundering noise was almost enough to cover the crying, the moans of pain that came from the room next door – almost. He’d asked his father why the doctors didn’t do something. Why they didn’t take her into hospital and make her better.

‘There’s nothing more that can be done,’ his father had said with tearful eyes as he placed two tablets next to a glass of water before hiding the medicine bottle deep inside the highest cupboard in their small kitchen.

‘Can’t we give her some more tablets, Dad? They help with her pain. She doesn’t cry so much when she takes them.’

‘No, Robert,’ his father replied in a nervous voice. ‘Too many aren’t good for her.’

He had to take care of her when his father wasn’t home, and back then his father worked nights.

Nights were always worse. Her screams sounded louder, her groans deeper and heavier with pain. They always made him shiver. Not like when he felt cold, but an intense shiver that came from deep within. Her illness had brought her so much pain, and he wished there was something he could do to help.

He cautiously opened the door to her room. He felt like crying, but his father had told him he mustn’t. She was curled up on the bed. Her knees pushed up against her chest. Her arms wrapped tightly around her legs. She was crying.

‘Please help me,’ she whispered. ‘It hurts so much.’

He was shivering, trying to keep his tears locked in his throat. ‘What can I do, Mom?’ His voice was as weak as hers.

She curled up into a tighter ball.

‘Do you want me to call Dad?’

She shook her head. Tears were streaming down her face.

‘Dad can call the doctor. He’ll come and help you.’

‘Dad can’t help, honey. Neither can the doctor.’

His mother looked like a different person now. She was so thin he could see her bones poking at her sagging skin. Her eyes had the darkest bags under them. Her once-beautiful long blond hair was now fine and frizzled and sticking to her sweaty face. Her lips were cracked and crusted.

‘I can heat some milk up for you, Mom. You like hot milk.’

She managed a delicate shake of the head. Her breath was coming in short gasps.

‘Would you like me to get you some biscuits? You haven’t eaten much today.’

She winced as a new surge of pain took over her body. ‘Please, baby. Help me.’

He couldn’t hold his tears anymore and they started rolling down his cheeks.

‘You can help the pain go away,’ she said in a trembling voice. ‘You can get me my pills. You know where they are, don’t you?’

He ran the back of his right hand against his running nose. She could see he was scared and shaking. ‘They’re very high up,’ he said, hiding his eyes from her.

‘Can’t you reach them for me, baby? Please, the pain has been going on for so long. You don’t know how much it hurts.’

His eyes were so full of tears everything appeared distorted. His heart felt empty, and he felt as if all his strength had left him. Without saying a word, he slowly turned around and opened the door.

His mother tried calling after him, but her voice was so weak that only a whisper left her lips.

He came back a few minutes later carrying a tray with a glass of water, two cream biscuits and the bottle of medicine. She stared at it, hardly believing her eyes. Very slowly and through unbearable pain, she pushed herself up into a sitting position. He stepped closer, placed the tray on the bedside table and handed her the glass of water.

She gave him the most honest smile he’d ever seen.

‘I’m not strong enough to open the bottle, darling. Can you do it for me?’

He took the bottle, pressed down on the cap and twisted it anticlockwise. Pouring two pills onto his hand, he offered them to her. She took them, put them in her mouth and swallowed them down without even sipping the water. Her eyes pleaded for more.

‘I read the label, Mom. It says you shouldn’t have more than eight a day. The two you just had make it ten today.’

‘You’re so intelligent, my darling.’ She smiled again. ‘You’re very special. I love you so much and I’m so sorry I won’t see you grow up.’

His eyes filled with tears once again as she wrapped her bony fingers around the medicine bottle. He held on to it tightly.

‘It’s OK,’ she whispered. ‘It’ll all be OK now.’

Hesitantly, he let go. ‘Dad will be angry at me.’

‘No, he won’t be, baby. I promise you.’ She placed two more pills in her mouth.

‘I brought you these biscuits.’ He pointed to the tray. ‘They’re your favorite, Mom. Please have one.’

‘I will, honey, in a while.’ She had a few more pills. ‘When Daddy comes home,’ she whispered. ‘Tell him I love him. Can you do that for me?’

He nodded. His eyes locked on the now almost empty medicine bottle.

‘Why don’t you go read one of your books, darling? I know you love reading.’

‘I can read in here. I can sit in the corner if you like. I won’t make a noise, I promise.’

She extended her hand and touched his hair. ‘I’ll be OK now. The pain’s starting to go away.’ Her eyelids looked heavy.

‘I can guard the room. I’ll sit by the door.’

She smiled a pain-stricken smile. ‘Why do you wanna guard the door, honey?’

‘You told me that sometimes God comes and takes ill people to heaven. I don’t want him to take you, Mom. I’ll sit by the door and if he comes I’ll tell him to go away. I’ll tell him that you’re getting better and not to take you.’

‘You’ll tell God to go away?’

He nodded vigorously.

She smiled again. ‘I’m gonna miss you so much, Robert.’