The Gospel According to the Son

9

Living with such skills, I was at peace. But rare is the calm that is long free of disturbance. Even as Joseph was in his last days I began to dream of the Great Temple in Jerusalem, and I wondered if it was too late for me to learn how to cast in gold and silver. Thoughts came to me that I would yet work upon the Holy Altar, but I distrusted them, for they left me full of a greed that was stifling to the throat; I had to wonder whether it was wise for a modest man to work with gold. All the same, I was ready. And for what, I did not know. I felt as if I were a man enclosing another man within. Joseph died, and I mourned him. Soon I was distraught. His great secret came back to me. If I knew again that the Lord was my Father, I hardly knew in what manner, He was still far from me. Whenever I thought that He would soon appear, He did not. I was in need of new wisdom.

It was then I decided to make a pilgrimage to that prophet and holy man who was John the Baptist, and indeed, I could even say that I knew him before I saw him, since he was my cousin. I had heard my mother speak often and well of John, even if others did not. He was held in ill repute among the Pharisees in our synagogue. These Pharisees of Nazareth were, in the main, devout, although never equal in piety to us; being merchants, they grew fat, but then they had many appetites, and not all were clean. No matterùthey spoke of John as if he were a wild creature. All the same, I felt close to my cousin. I did not know him, yet he was kin to me. Much was alike in the way we were conceived.

His father, Zacharias, had been an Essene priest; his mother was the same Elizabeth whom my mother had visited when pregnant with me, and Elizabeth was most devout and was as thin as a tall blade of grass. So, too, was Zacharias; they believed that the body must be kept as a temple. Only a pure body could offer pure prayers in the struggle against the powers of evil.

Therefore, they remained childless. And were happy. But there came a time when Elizabeth began to mourn that she was barren. One day she even prayed for a child. And her prayer was heard. That morning, as Zacharias stood alone at the altar performing a priests office, an angel came to him. (Indeed, this angel was the same Gabriel who would in six months speak to my mother.)

Gabriel said: "Zacharias, do not tremble. I bring good news. Elizabeth shall bear a son."

Now, Zacharias was not at ease. No angel had ever appeared to him before. So he said: "I am an old man, and my wife is close to me in age. Who can you be?" Whereupon the angel grew angry. "Since you do not believe me," he said, "you will not speak until the day that Elizabeth gives birth." And when Zacharias came out of the synagogue, he was dumb. Nothing could be heard but the straining of his throat.

He returned to his house and was silent. Yet soon enough he would marvel. For on this same day that he lost his speech, he was able to rise and give issue to Elizabeth. And she conceived. Soon, she was so afraid she might lose what had been given her that she remained in bed. And the unborn child did not stir.

In the sixth month of this pregnancy, Gabriel visited my mother. Afterward, even as Joseph was wondering how to serve as her guardian, Mary went into the high hills to visit her cousin.

And in the moment that Elizabeth saw my mother at the door, so did her babe leap in her womb. Overjoyed, she spoke out: "Blessed art thou, Mary. All generations to come shall call you blessed."

Mary felt honored by these words. Elizabeth's ancestry (on the side not related to my mother) was said to go back as far as Aaron, the brother of Moses. Elizabeth's blessing stayed in my mother's ear, and her pride became as great as her humility. Few could contradict her will. My mother would say: "He that is mighty has done to me great things." It soon became her belief that all she said could only be the truth. She would speak often and fondly of John the Baptist. "Only when Elizabeth saw me," she liked to say, "was John able to quicken in the womb."

And on the day my cousin was born the tongue of Zacharias grew loose, and he spoke, and could bless his son.

John grew up. He was lean, more lean even than Zacharias or Elizabeth, and he lived alone in the desert. He preached near a ford in the River Jordan, and pilgrims came to him in great fear of their sins. He preached with such force of word and spirit that the High Priest of the Great Temple sent Levites out from Jerusalem, and they asked: "Who art thou? Art thou the Christ?"Christ being the word for Messiah in Greek, a language that many of the elevated in Jerusalem liked to use.

But John said, "I baptize with water, no more. I am not the Messiah." These Pharisees were dissatisfied. They said: "You perform baptisms yet you are not Christ. Who are you, then?"

"I am the voice of one crying in the wilderness," John replied. "But there is one coming after me whom you do not know. He is chosen above me by the Lord, and I am not worthy to loosen the straps of his sandals." And John said it on the day before I went to visit him, although I had no idea that he spoke of such things. I had thought to go as one more pilgrim.