The Gospel According to the Son

19

For two nights I lay on the ground with snakes and scorpions and did my best to feel no fear. I would tell myself that John the Baptist could pick up a scorpion and talk to it and it did not sting, but I was not wholly successful. No scorpion stung me, yet I was afraid.

My return to Capernaum proved better. The first man to speak was a centurion standing before me in armor, and he had an eagle on his helmet. This Roman was proud; who could say how many he had killed with his sword? Yet he was also polite, saying, "Lord, my best servant is sick with palsy."

Without pause, I replied: "Let me come and heal him."

To increase my respect, the centurion gave a surprising reply: "Lord, I am not worthy for you to come under my roof. But if you will speak the word, my servant can be healed. I am a man to command a soldier to go and he will go. To another, I say 'Come,' and he comes. So my sick servant will do what needs to be done if you give me the power to tell him."

This centurion had tears in his eyes. I marveled at that, and turned to my followers: "Where have I found greater faith in anyone? Not in all of Galilee." And I said to the centurion, "Go! Your servant will be healed."

And he was. So others told me. By this I knew that if all was well, I could send God's power to others, even if they were not Jews. I felt elation at this, and was pleased by the acclaim of those who welcomed me on the streets. Many paused to greet me, and the mouths of such men were painted red. It was then that Simon Peter told me how Capernaum, though only a small city, was favored by men who did not know women but other men. So I also learned that such men would cover their lips with the juice of red berries, and in the taverns they would speak of how the bravest of the Greeks were Spartans, who were great warriors but lived only to sleep in each other's arms.

This brought forth a dispute among my fishermen, and Peter said: "Spartans also live with the sword. Whereas these men of Capernaum live with the coloring that women choose for their lips."

Nonetheless, I felt affection for my new followers. They were tender in spirit, and would congregate beneath a tree, because they were not welcome in the temple. I was gentle with them.

In the synagogue, however, I spoke of the incarceration of John the Baptist in the dungeon of Machaerus. Since he was all but with me, I preached with the clarity that comes when no word must search for the next. And more men gathered each day at the synagogue, until there was no bench to receive them, not even in the vestibule or outside the door. One day four men tried to bring in a poor man who was paralyzed in every limb, but they could not come near the door because of the crowd. In desperation, these four men took a ladder and climbed to the roof, where they broke a hole between two rafters in order to lower the sick man (and his bed) down to where I spoke. I knew that if his bearers felt such concern for him, then the man must be worthy. Without pause I said: "Thy sins be forgiven thee." And he rose from his bed. I knew why. Those who came to me had undergone much torment and so were ready to recognize the weight of their sin. Thereby, they were ready to be cured. This paralyzed man had become equal in his suffering to the evil he had wrought, and so I could forgive him, and without hesitation.

The scribes were affronted. I heard one say, "Why does Jesus speak blasphemies? Who can forgive sins? God only."

I understood then that I was speaking too openly. Yet it was difficult to be patient. The pious were becoming noxious now. The odor of their sanctity was close to the smell of shellfish when such creatures expire on the shore of the sea that once nourished them.

Therefore, when asked how I could dare forgive sins, I said: "Why seek to reason? The man was brought to me paralyzed, yet afterward he could carry his bed out of the synagogue; if he staggered, it was only by a little." So they were much offended.

Each day I came to understand a little more of why the Lord had chosen me. I could see how my Fathers patience would be tried with His creation. We consumed His charity and kept repeating our sins. So He must need someone as simple as myself to listen to men's errors. Even as I had known a void in my heart while I fasted, so could I now comprehend those waste-places in the hearts of others where a good opinion of oneself cannot be kept, not even in contemplating one's good deeds. The soul can feel empty before the memory of its sins. How much compassion did I feel in that moment for those who sin! And I prayed that the Lord would always speak through me.