The Lost Boy

FJÄLLBACKA 1871

It was early autumn before she was allowed to leave Gråskär for the first time. The boat pitched alarmingly, just as it had when she came to the island, but this time she didn’t feel panicked. She had been living so close to the sea and had become familiar with the sounds and shiftings of the water. If it hadn’t been for the fact that the sea had kept her imprisoned on the island, she would probably have learned to appreciate it. And now the waves were carrying her to the harbour.

The surface of the sea was as smooth as a mirror, and she couldn’t resist the temptation to lower her hand and trail her fingers alongside the boat. She had to lean over the railing to reach the water as she held her other hand protectively over her stomach. Karl stood at the helm. He seemed so different now that he was away from Gråskär and the shadow of the lighthouse. He looked so handsome. She hadn’t thought about that in a long time. The spiteful glint in his eyes had made him seem ugly. But if she looked at him now, as he stood facing forward, she was able to recall what she had once found so attractive. Maybe it’s the island that has changed him, thought Emelie. Maybe there’s something about the island that has unleashed the evil inside of him. She immediately pushed any such thoughts away. What a fool she was. But Edith’s words of warning still echoed in her mind.

For today, at least, they were leaving the island behind, if only for a few hours. She was going to see other people, help to buy the groceries they needed, and have coffee with Karl’s aunt, who had invited them to her home. She also had an appointment to see the doctor. She wasn’t worried. She knew that everything was as it should be with the child, who kicked so eagerly inside of her stomach. Nevertheless, it would be a blessing to have this confirmed.

She closed her eyes and smiled. The wind felt lovely against her skin.

‘Sit down properly,’ said Karl, making her jump.

She remembered again that first boat trip. She had been newly married and filled with anticipation. Karl had still treated her kindly back then.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, lowering her gaze. She didn’t really know why she was apologizing.

‘And no unnecessary chatter.’ His voice was cold. He was once again the same Karl as on the island. The ugly man with the malevolent eyes.

‘Yes, Karl.’ She kept her eyes lowered, staring at the deck of the boat. The child inside of her kicked so hard that she gasped for breath.

Suddenly Julian got up from where he was seated across from her and sat down next to her. A little too close. Then he grabbed hold of her arm.

‘You heard what Karl said. No talking. No talking about the island or anything that is no one else’s concern.’ His fingers dug deeper into her arm, and she grimaced.

‘All right,’ she said, the pain making her eyes fill with tears.

‘Now sit quietly in the boat. It’s easy to fall overboard,’ said Julian in a low voice. Then he let go of her arm and stood up. He went back to his seat and turned to look in the direction of Fjällbacka, which was now visible up ahead.

Trembling, Emelie placed her hands over her stomach. She suddenly found herself missing those she had left behind on the island. Those who were forced to stay there, unable ever to leave. She promised herself that she would pray for them. Maybe God would hear her prayer and show mercy to those poor lost souls.

When the boat docked near the marketplace, she blinked away her tears and felt a smile spread across her lips. Finally she was among other people again. She was still able to leave Gråskär.