The Lost Boy

FJÄLLBACKA 1871

He was such a beautiful baby, and the birth had been surprisingly easy. Even the midwife had said as much when she wrapped him in a blanket and placed him at Emelie’s breast. A week later, she was still overwhelmed with happiness, and it felt as if her joy grew stronger with every minute.

Dagmar was just as happy as she was. If Emelie needed anything, she was instantly there, and she tended to the baby with the same expression of reverence as when she went to church on Sunday. He was a miracle that the two of them shared.

The baby slept in a basket next to Emelie’s bed. She could sit there for hours just looking at him as he slept with one tiny fist pressed against his cheek. Whenever his lips twitched, she imagined it was a smile, an expression of joy to be in this world.

The clothes and blankets, which she and Dagmar had spent so many hours making, were now put to good use. They had to change the baby several times a day, and he was always clean and well fed. Emelie felt as if she and Dagmar and the boy were living in their own little world, without sorrows or worries. And she had decided on a name. He would be called Gustav, after her father. She didn’t even consider asking Karl first. Gustav was her son, hers alone.

Karl hadn’t visited her even once during the time she had lived with Dagmar. But she knew that he must have been in Fjällbacka, because he and Julian had come to town as they always did. Although it was a relief not to have to see him, it hurt that she didn’t mean more to him.

She had tried to talk to Dagmar about this, but she had shut down, as she always did whenever the conversation turned to Karl. She had again murmured that he hadn’t had an easy time of it, and that she didn’t want to get involved in the family’s affairs. Finally Emelie had given up. She would never understand her husband, but no matter what, she was going to have to endure the consequences. The pastor had said ‘until death do you part’, and that was how it would have to be. At least now she had something more than the others who had been her solace on the island. Now she had something real.

Three weeks after Gustav’s birth, Karl came to fetch her. He hardly even glanced at his son. He merely stood in the front hall, looking impatient, and told her to pack her things. As soon as he and Julian were done buying supplies, they would be leaving for the island. And she and the baby would be coming with them.

‘Have you heard anything from my father about the boy? I wrote to him, but I haven’t received a reply,’ said Karl, looking at Dagmar. He sounded both anxious and eager, like a schoolboy wanting to please. Emelie’s heart softened a bit when she saw Karl looking so uncertain. She wished that she knew more and could understand what he was feeling.

‘He received your letter, and he is both pleased and satisfied.’ Dagmar hesitated. ‘He’s been worried, you know.’

They exchanged a glance that Emelie couldn’t read as she stood there, holding Gustav in her arms.

‘Father has no reason to worry,’ said Karl hostilely. ‘Please give him my greetings.’

‘I’ll do that. But you must promise to take good care of your family.’

Karl looked down at the floor.

‘Of course I will,’ he said, and then turned on his heel. ‘Be ready to leave in a hour,’ he added, speaking to Emelie over his shoulder.

She nodded, but she could feel her throat closing up. Soon she would be back on Gråskär. She hugged Gustav close.