The Lost Boy

18

‘Where did you find it?’ Paula shook hands with Peter and stepped on board the Coast Guard vessel.

‘We had a call about a stranded boat in a cove.’

‘How come you didn’t find it before? Haven’t you been out looking for it?’ asked Martin. He was enthusiastically surveying the Coast Guard vessel. He knew that she was capable of doing almost thirty knots. Maybe he could persuade Peter to increase their speed after they got further out.

‘There are so many coves out here in the archipelago,’ said Peter, steering the boat away from the dock with a sure hand. ‘It’s pure luck that anyone found it at all.’

‘And you’re positive it’s the right boat?’

‘Not yet, but when I see it I’ll recognize Gunnar’s boat.’

‘How do we get it back home?’ Paula was peering through the window. She’d spent far too little time on the water. It was astonishingly beautiful. She turned around and looked at Fjällbacka, which was now behind them and quickly receding into the distance.

‘We’ll tow it back. I thought we should first go out there and make sure it’s the right boat. Then I realized that you might want to examine the place where it was found.’

‘There’s probably not much to see,’ replied Martin. ‘But it’s nice to be out on the water for a while.’ He cast a glance at the throttle but didn’t dare ask. More boats were appearing, and it might be foolish to go any faster, even though he wished they could.

‘You should come out with me again sometime, and I can show you what kind of horsepower she’s got,’ said Peter with an amused smile, as if he could read Martin’s mind.

‘That’d be great!’ Martin’s pale face lit up, and Paula shook her head. Boys and their toys.

‘Over there,’ said Peter, turning the boat starboard. And there it was. A wooden motorboat, wedged into a small crevice. It didn’t look damaged, but it seemed to be stuck.

‘That’s Gunnar’s boat all right. I’m sure of it,’ said Peter. ‘Who wants to be the first ashore?’

Martin looked at Paula, who pretended not to have heard the question. She was a city girl from Stockholm. Wading ashore on sharp rocks was something she would leave to Martin. He climbed up on the bow, grabbed the mooring line, and waited for the right moment. Peter turned off the engine and then helped Paula out of the boat. She almost fell in after slipping on some algae, but she managed to keep her balance. Martin would never stop teasing her if she fell in the water.

Moving cautiously, they made their way over to the motorboat. On closer inspection they could see that it was undamaged.

‘How the hell did it end up here?’ Martin scratched his head.

‘It looks like it just drifted,’ said Peter.

‘Could it have drifted here all the way from the harbour?’ asked Paula, but from the look on Peter’s face she could tell that she’d asked a silly question.

‘No,’ he said.

‘She’s from Stockholm,’ Martin explained, and Paula glared at him.

‘Stockholm has an archipelago too.’

Martin and Peter both looked sceptical.

‘A flooded forest,’ they said in unison.

Paula walked around the boat. Sometimes people who lived on the west coast were so narrow-minded. If she heard anybody say one more time: ‘Ohhhh, you’re from the backside of Sweden,’ she was going to slug the individual in question.

Peter climbed back on board MinLouis, and Martin tied a towline to Gunnar’s motorboat. Then he motioned for Paula to come closer.

‘Come and help me push,’ he said, as he started shoving the boat out of the crevice.

Paula carefully made her way over the sharp rocks to lend a hand. After a good deal of effort, they managed to get the boat loose, and it slipped smoothly away from the shore.

‘All right then,’ said Paula and headed back to the Coast Guard vessel. Suddenly she felt her feet slip out from under her, and she fell. She was instantly soaking wet. Shit. Her colleagues were going to make fun of her for a long time to come.

They were constantly with her now. They made her feel safe, even though she saw them only out of the corner of her eye. Sometimes she thought the boy looked a little like Sam, with his curly hair and that mischievous glint in his eye, except that he was blond, while Sam had dark hair. But like Sam, the boy kept his gaze fixed on his mother.

Nathalie sensed rather than saw the woman. And she heard her. The hem of her dress sweeping along the floor, the small admonitions directed at the boy, the warnings whenever she saw something that might be dangerous. She was a rather over-protective mother, just as Nathalie was. Occasionally the woman had tried to speak to her. There was something she wanted to say, but Nathalie refused to hear it.

The boy liked being in Sam’s room. Sometimes it sounded as if Sam was talking to him, but she couldn’t be sure. She didn’t dare move closer to listen, because she didn’t want to disturb them if they really were having a conversation. It gave her hope. In time, Sam would talk to her too. Even though she represented safety for him, she understood that Sam also associated her with all the terrible things he’d experienced in his life.

It was warm inside the house, but she found herself suddenly shivering. What if they weren’t safe here after all? Maybe one day they’d see a boat approaching the island, just as she’d feared. A boat filled with the same evil that they’d tried to leave behind.

She heard voices coming from Sam’s room. Her fear vanished as swiftly as it had appeared. The little blond boy was talking to Sam, and it sounded as if Sam was replying. Her heart leaped with happiness. It was so hard to know what was right. All she could do was follow her instinct, which was based on her love for Sam – and it kept telling her to give him more time. Let him heal here, in peace and quiet.

No boat was going to come. She repeated that to herself like a mantra as she sat at the kitchen table and looked out of the window. No boat was going to come. Sam was talking, and that must mean that he was on his way back to her. She heard the little boy’s voice again. She smiled. She was glad that Sam had a friend.

Patrik was watching Gösta rummage in his jacket pocket.

‘Could you please tell me what this is all about?’

After a moment Gösta seemed to find what he was looking for. He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Patrik.

‘What’s this? Or rather, who is this?’ Patrik was looking at the photograph he held in his hand.

‘I don’t really know. But I found it in Sverin’s flat.’

‘Where?’

Gösta swallowed hard. ‘In his bedroom.’

‘Can you explain to me how it happened to end up in your jacket pocket?’

‘I thought it might be of interest, so I took it along. But then I forgot about it,’ said Gösta in a subdued voice.

‘You forgot about it?’ Patrik was so angry that for a second everything went black before his eyes. ‘How could you possibly forget something like this? All we’ve talked about lately is how little we know about Mats, and how hard it’s been to find out who he knew.’

Gösta seemed to shrink as they stood there in the corridor. ‘I realize that, but at least I’m showing it to you now. Better late than never, right?’ He attempted a smile.

‘And you have no idea who this is?’ asked Patrik, now taking a moment to study the picture properly.

‘Not a clue. But it must have been someone who was important to Sverin. And it occurred to me that … I thought about it when we were …’ He nodded towards the room where Marie was waiting for them.

‘It’s worth a try,’ said Patrik. ‘But we’re not done talking about this, you and I. Just so you know.’

‘I know.’ Gösta looked down at the floor, but he seemed relieved at the reprieve, no matter how temporary.

They went back into the break room. Marie looked as nervous as she had before.

Patrik got straight to the point.

‘Who is this?’ he said, placing the photo on the table in front of Marie. He saw her eyes open wide.

‘Madeleine,’ she said, looking scared. She covered her mouth with her hand.

‘Who’s Madeleine?’

Patrik tapped his finger on the photo in order to force Marie to keep looking at it. She didn’t answer as she uneasily shifted position on her chair.

‘This is a murder investigation, and any information you have may help us to find out who killed Mats. That’s what you want too, isn’t it?’

Marie looked at them with an unhappy expression. Her hands were shaking, and her voice faltered as she finally began to tell them what she knew. About Madeleine.

When the tech team arrived to carry out a thorough examination of the boat, Paula and Martin drove back to the station. Paula had borrowed a huge pair of waterproof trousers and an orange fleece shirt from the Coast Guard office. She glared at anyone who might even consider making some sort of sarcastic remark. Once seated inside the car, she turned up the heat. The sea water had been icy cold, and she was still freezing.

The volume on the radio was up as high as it would go, so they almost didn’t hear Martin’s mobile when it rang. He turned down the music before answering his phone.

‘That’s great! Can we go over there now? We’re headed back, so we can stop off there on the way.’ He ended the conversation and turned to Paula. ‘That was Annika. Lennart has finished going through the documents, so we can go see him any time we like.’

‘Perfect,’ said Paula, looking a bit happier.

Fifteen minutes later they parked in front of the ExtraFilm office. Lennart was eating lunch at his desk when they came in, but he set aside his sandwich and wiped his hands on a napkin. He cast a surprised look at what Paula was wearing, but wisely decided not to comment.

‘I’m glad you’re here,’ he said.

Lennart radiated warmth, just as his wife did. Paula thought that their adoptive daughter had no idea how lucky she was to end up with Annika and Lennart as her parents.

‘She’s so cute,’ said Paula, pointing at the photo of the little girl that Lennart had pinned up on his bulletin board.

‘Yes, she certainly is.’ He smiled broadly, then motioned for them to sit down in the visitors’ chairs in front of his desk. ‘I don’t know whether it’s really worth your time to sit down. I’ve looked through everything as carefully as I could, but there’s really not much to tell you. The finances seem to be in order, and I didn’t find anything that leaped out at me. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was supposed to be looking for. From what I can tell, the town has invested a lot of money in the project and also negotiated extended payment clauses. But there’s nothing that set off any alarm bells in here – my best financial instrument.’ Lennart patted himself on the stomach.

Martin started to say something, but Lennart went on:

‘The Berkelins – Vivianne and Anders – are responsible for a large part of the expenses, and according to the documents, the financing that they’ve arranged is due to arrive on Monday. I’m afraid I haven’t been much help.’

‘Yes, you have. At least it’s good to hear that the town is doing a good job of handling our money.’ Martin stood up.

‘Well, so far, so good. But everything depends on whether they’re able to bring in customers. Otherwise it’s going to be expensive for the taxpayers.’

‘We thought it was really nice, at any rate.’

‘Yes, Annika told me that all of you had a good time at the spa. And that Mellberg was apparently pampered like royalty.’

Paula and Martin laughed. ‘We wish we could have seen it. Rumour has it that they gave him an oyster treatment. But we’ll just have to imagine Mellberg covered with oyster shells,’ said Paula.

‘Well, here’s everything.’ Lennart handed them the stack of papers. ‘As I said, I’m sorry that I couldn’t be of more help.’

‘It’s not your fault. We’ll have to keep looking, that’s all,’ said Paula, but she couldn’t hide how discouraged she felt. The discovery of Gunnar’s boat had given them a little boost, but the euphoria hadn’t lasted long. It seemed very unlikely that the boat would provide any new leads in the investigation.

‘I’ll drop you off and then go home to change my clothes,’ she told Martin as they neared the station. Then she gave him a warning look.

He nodded, but she knew that the minute he stepped in the door, he would be gleefully embellishing the story of how she’d taken an involuntary dip in the water.

Paula parked outside her building and dashed upstairs to the flat. She was still feeling chilled, as if the cold water had seeped right into her bones. Her hands shook as she put the key in the lock, but finally she got the door open.

‘Hello?’ she called, expecting to hear her mother’s cheerful voice from the kitchen.

‘Hi,’ she heard. It was Johanna’s voice, coming from the bedroom. She went in, surprised to find her home from work at this time of day.

Something was going on. Something that had kept Paula awake at night, listening to Johanna breathing. Even though Paula could tell that she too was wide awake, she hadn’t dared say anything. She wasn’t sure that she really wanted to know what was troubling her. Now Johanna was sitting on their bed with such a dejected look on her face that Paula wanted to turn around and run away. All sorts of thoughts raced through her mind. All kinds of potential scenarios popped up, and she didn’t want to see how any of them played out. But now they were both here, face to face, in an empty flat without all the usual commotion to hide behind. No dogs running around. No Rita singing loudly in the kitchen and playing with Leo. No Mellberg shouting obscenities at the TV. Nothing but silence. And the two of them.

‘What on earth are you wearing?’ asked Johanna at last, looking Paula up and down.

‘I fell in the water,’ said Paula, glancing down at the ugly fleece shirt which was so big that it reached almost to her knees. ‘I just came home to change.’

‘Why don’t you do that. Then we’ll talk. I can’t have a serious conversation with you dressed like that.’ She smiled wryly, which made Paula’s stomach lurch. She loved Johanna’s smile, but she hadn’t seen it much lately.

‘Could you make some tea while I get changed? Then we can sit in the kitchen.’

Johanna nodded and left the room. Paula’s fingers were stiff with cold and fear as she changed into jeans and a white T-shirt. Then she took a deep breath and went out to the kitchen. This was not a conversation that she wanted to have, but she had no choice. All she could do was close her eyes and dive in.

He hated lying to her. She had been everything to him for so long, and it frightened him that for the first time he was prepared to sacrifice what they had together. Anders was breathing hard as he headed up the steep, narrow slope towards Mörhult. He had to get out in the fresh air for a while, and away from Vivianne. There was no other way to view it.

Sometimes the past seemed so close. Sometimes he was still five years old, lying under the bed next to Vivianne, with his hands over his ears and his sister’s arm wrapped tightly around him. Under that bed they had learned so much about surviving. But he was no longer content simply to survive. He wanted to live, and he didn’t know whether Vivianne was helping or hindering him.

A car came rushing past at high speed, and he had to jump on to the verge. Badis was behind him. Their big project, and their last. Erling was the one who was making it all possible. And now the poor devil had actually proposed to Vivianne.

Erling had phoned to invite Anders to dinner tonight to celebrate the engagement. Somehow Anders doubted that his sister was aware of these plans. Especially since that fat little police chief and his live-in girlfriend had been invited as well. Anders had declined the invitation, offering some feeble excuse. The combination of Erling and Bertil Mellberg didn’t sound like a recipe for a pleasant evening. And under the circumstances, it would feel strange to be celebrating.

The road started to slope downward. He didn’t really know where he was going; it didn’t matter which direction he chose. Anders kicked at a stone that rolled down the hill until it disappeared in a ditch. That was exactly how he was feeling at the moment. As if he was rolling faster and faster down a slope. The only question was, which ditch would he wind up in? It was bound to end badly, because there was no good option. He’d lain awake all night, trying to work out a solution, a compromise. But there was none to be found. Just as there had been no middle road in the days when they lay under the bed with their heads pressed against the wooden slats.

He stood on the dock in front of the little stone bridge. There were no swans in sight. He’d been told that they usually built their nests to the right of the bridge, and every year they had a new flock of babies, who lived precariously close to the road. Apparently swans mated for life. That was what he wanted too. So far the only woman in his life was his sister. Not as a lover, of course, but she had always been his partner, the one he was supposed to spend his life with.

Now everything had changed. He needed to make a decision, but he had no idea how he was going to do that. Not when he could still feel the wooden slats against his head and Vivianne’s protective arm holding him. Not when he knew that she had always been his defender and his best friend.

They had almost lost the battle for survival. The alcohol and the smells had been present even when their mother was still alive. But at the same time there had been small islands of love – moments that they had clung to. When she chose to escape, when Olof found her in the bedroom with an empty pill bottle on the floor, the last remnants of their childhood vanished. He blamed them, and they were severely punished. Every time the ladies from social services dropped by, he would pull himself together and charm them with his blue eyes, showing off his home and Vivianne and Anders, who silently stared at their feet as the ladies fussed over him. Somehow he always found out in advance when they were planning to come over, so the flat would be clean and tidy when they showed up for their supposedly impromptu visits. Why hadn’t he just given them up if he hated them so much? Anders and Vivianne had spent so many hours imagining the new mother and father they could have had if only Olof would let them go.

Presumably he wanted to keep them close so he could watch them suffer. But in the end they were determined to win. Though he’d been dead for years now, he continued to serve as their incentive. They were determined to prove to him that they could be successful. And success was now within their reach. They couldn’t simply give up and admit that Olof had been right when he said that they were worthless and would never amount to anything.

Off in the distance Anders could see the swan family approaching. The baby swans were bobbing along after their stately parents. They looked so sweet, with their downy grey feathers, but they were nothing like the stylish birds they would eventually become. Had he and Vivianne grown up to be big, beautiful birds? Or were they still little grey cygnets, hoping to be something else?

Anders turned around and slowly walked back up the hill. No matter what he decided, he had to do it soon.

‘We know about Madeleine,’ said Patrik as he sat down in front of Leila without waiting for an invitation.

‘I’m sorry?’

‘We know about Madeleine,’ Patrik repeated calmly. Gösta had taken the chair next to him, but he was staring at the floor.

‘I see. But what …’ said Leila, looking nervous.

‘You said that you were willing to cooperate with us, and that you’d told us everything. We now know that’s not entirely true, and we’d like an explanation.’ He made his voice sound as stern as he could, and it seemed to work.

‘I didn’t think …’ Leila swallowed hard. ‘I didn’t think it was relevant.’

‘I don’t believe that. Besides, it’s not your job to decide what might be relevant or not.’ Patrik paused, then said, ‘What can you tell us about Madeleine?’

For a moment Leila sat in silence. Then she abruptly stood up and went over to the bookcase. She stuck her hand behind a row of books and took out a key. Taking her seat behind her desk again, she bent down and unlocked the bottom drawer.

‘Here,’ she said curtly, placing a folder in front of them.

‘What’s that?’ asked Patrik. Gösta leaned forward, equally curious.

‘That’s Madeleine’s file. She’s one of the women who needed the kind of help that goes beyond what society can offer.’

‘What does that mean?’ Patrik began leafing through the documents.

‘It means that we gave her help that isn’t considered legal.’ Leila stared at them resolutely. All sign of nervousness was gone, and it looked as if she were challenging them to object. ‘Some of the women who come to us have tried everything. And then we try everything. But these women and their children are threatened by men who don’t give a damn about the law, leaving us helpless. We have no way of protecting these women legally, so we help them to escape. To leave the country.’

‘What was the relationship between Madeleine and Mats?’

‘I didn’t know about it at the time, but afterwards I found out that they were having an affair. We spent a long time trying to resolve the situation for Madeleine and her kids. During that time, they must have fallen in love, which was strictly forbidden, of course. But as I said, I wasn’t aware of it then …’ She threw out her hands. ‘When I found out, I was terribly disappointed. Matte knew how important it was for me to prove that men are needed in this type of organization. And he knew that everyone’s eyes were on the Refuge, and that a lot of people hoped that we’d fail. I couldn’t understand why he’d betray the Refuge like that.’

‘What happened?’ asked Gösta. He took the file from Patrik.

The air seemed to go out of Leila. ‘Things got worse and worse. Madeleine’s ex-husband kept finding out where she and the kids were staying. The police got involved, but that didn’t help matters. Finally Madeleine couldn’t take it any more, and we realized that the situation was intolerable. If she and her children were going to stay alive, they would have to leave Sweden. Leave their home, their family, their friends, everything.’

‘When did you make this decision?’ asked Patrik.

‘Madeleine came to see me right after Matte was attacked and asked us to help her. We had already come to more or less the same conclusion.’

‘What did Mats think about this?’

Leila looked down at her desk. ‘We didn’t tell him. Everything was arranged while he was in hospital. When he came back to work, she was gone.’

‘Was that when you found out that they were having an affair?’ Gösta placed the file back on the desk.

‘Yes. Matte was inconsolable. He begged and pleaded for me to tell him where they’d gone. But I couldn’t do that. It would have put her and the children in danger if anyone found out where they were.’

‘Did you ever suspect that there was a connection between this and the assault on Mats?’ Patrik opened the folder and pointed to something written on one of the pages.

Leila fidgeted with a paper clip before answering.

‘Of course the thought occurred to me. But Matte claimed there was no connection. And there wasn’t much we could do.’

‘We need to talk to her.’

‘That’s impossible,’ said Leila, shaking her head. ‘That would be much too dangerous.’

‘We’ll take all necessary precautions. But we have to talk to her.’

‘I’m telling you that’s impossible.’

‘I understand that you want to protect Madeleine, and I promise not to do anything that might put her at risk. I’m hoping that we can resolve this easily and quickly so that this,’ he pointed at the folder on the desk, ‘can remain just between us. If not, we’ll have to take up the matter with someone else.’

Leila clenched her teeth, but she knew that she had no choice. With a single phone call Patrik and Gösta could bring down all the work that the Refuge was trying to accomplish.

‘I’ll see what I can do. But it will take time. Maybe until tomorrow.’

‘That’s all right. Just give us a call as soon as you know anything.’

‘Okay. On one condition: we do things my way. The lives of many other people are involved here – not just Madeleine and her children.’

‘We realize that,’ said Patrik. He and Gösta stood up and once again left the building to drive back to Fjällbacka.

‘Welcome, welcome!’ exclaimed Erling, beaming as he stood in the doorway. He was glad that Bertil Mellberg and his girlfriend Rita were able to come over to celebrate the occasion. He really did like Mellberg, whose pragmatic attitude towards life was very close to his own. The man was such a reasonable person to deal with.

Having enthusiastically shaken Mellberg’s hand, he kissed Rita on the cheek. Then, just to be safe, he kissed her on the other cheek too. He wasn’t quite sure what the custom was in the southern lands, but surely he couldn’t go wrong with a double kiss. Vivianne came to greet their guests and help them hang up their coats. Mellberg handed their hostess a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine, and she thanked him as effusively as courtesy required, and carried both out to the kitchen.

‘Come in,’ said Erling, motioning them forward. As always, he was looking forward to showing off his home. He’d been forced to fight hard to keep the house after his divorce, but it had been worth all the trouble.

‘What a lovely home,’ said Rita, looking around.

‘You’ve certainly done well for yourself.’ Mellberg slapped Erling on the back.

‘I can’t complain,’ said Erling, handing a glass of wine to each of his guests.

‘So what’s for dinner?’ asked Mellberg. The lunch he’d had at Badis was still fresh in his mind, so if a meal of seeds and nuts was in store for them, they could always stop at the sausage stand on the way home.

‘Don’t worry, Bertil.’ Vivianne winked at Rita. ‘I’ve made an exception this evening and planned a high-carb meal just for your sake. But a few vegetables may have slipped in as well.’

‘I suppose I’ll survive,’ said Bertil, his laugh a little too hearty.

‘Shall we sit down?’ Erling put his arm around Rita and ushered her into the big, bright dining room. He couldn’t deny that his ex-wife had had good taste when it came to the decor. On the other hand, he was the one who had paid for everything, so the result could be considered his doing – which was what he often claimed.

The appetizer was quickly dispatched, and Mellberg’s face lit up when he saw that the main course was a sizable portion of lasagne. Not until they were having dessert, and after a few pokes under the table from Erling, did Vivianne show off the ring on her left hand.

‘Oh my, is that what I think it is?’ exclaimed Rita.

Mellberg squinted in an attempt to see what all the fuss was about. He finally noticed the shiny object on Vivianne’s ring finger.

‘Are the two of you engaged?’ Mellberg took Vivianne’s hand and studied the ring carefully. ‘Erling, you old rascal, you must have coughed up a small fortune for this.’

‘You can’t get something for nothing. But she’s definitely worth it.’

‘How splendid,’ said Rita, smiling warmly. ‘Congratulations to both of you.’

‘Yes, we need to celebrate. Don’t you have anything stronger so we could drink a toast in your honour?’ Mellberg looked with distaste at the glass of Baileys that Erling had poured him to accompany the dessert.

‘Hmm … I could probably find us some whisky.’ Erling got up and opened the large drinks cabinet. He set two bottles on the table and then took out four whisky glasses, which he placed next to them.

‘That one’s a real gem.’ Erling pointed to one of the bottles. ‘A Macallan, twenty-five years old. And it wasn’t cheap, I’ll tell you that.’

He poured a shot in two of the glasses, then reached across the table and set one glass at his own place and the other at Vivianne’s. Then he put the cork back in and carefully returned the bottle with the expensive whisky to the drinks cabinet.

Mellberg stared at him in astonishment.

‘What about us?’ he couldn’t help asking. Rita seemed to be thinking the same thing, even though she didn’t say it out loud.

Erling came back to the table and blithely opened the second bottle. A Johnnie Walker Red Label, which Mellberg knew cost 249 kronor at the State Liquor Store.

‘It would be a waste to serve you the expensive whisky,’ said Erling. ‘You wouldn’t be able to really appreciate it.’

With a cheerful smile, he poured the drinks and handed Mellberg and Rita each a glass. They stared in silence at their Johnnie Walker and then at the contents of Erling’s and Vivianne’s glasses. It was a completely different colour. Vivianne looked like she wanted to crawl under the rug.

‘Skål! And skål for us, darling!’ Erling raised his glass in a toast. Still mute with surprise, Mellberg and Rita did the same.

A short time later they made their apologies and left. What a stingy bastard, thought Mellberg as they rode home in the taxi. That was a big blow to a promising friendship.

The platform was deserted when they disembarked from the train. Nobody knew they were coming. Her mother would be in for a shock when they turned up, but Madeleine couldn’t warn her of their arrival. It was going to be risky enough for them to stay with her parents. She would have preferred not to involve her parents at all, but they had nowhere else to go. Eventually she was going to have to talk to certain people and try to explain things, and she promised herself that she would pay Mette back for the train tickets. She hated being indebted to anyone, but that was the only way they could come back to Sweden. Everything else would just have to wait.

She didn’t dare think about what was going to happen next. At the same time, a sense of calm had come over her. It felt strangely comforting to be trapped in a corner, with no possibility of going anywhere. She had given up, and that was actually a relief. It took so much energy to flee and to fight, and she was no longer afraid for herself. It was only the children that caused her to hesitate, but she was going to do everything in her power to make him understand and forgive. He had never touched the children, and they would be fine, no matter what happened. At least that was what she had to tell herself. Otherwise she was doomed.

They caught the number three tram at Drottningtorget. Everything was very familiar. The kids were so tired that they could hardly keep their eyes open, but they still pressed their noses against the window and stared out.

‘There’s the prison. Isn’t that the prison, Mamma?’ said Kevin.

She nodded. Yes, they had just passed Härlunda Prison. After that she ran through the next tram stops in her mind: Solrosgatan, Sanatoriegatan, and then they would get out at Kålltorp. They almost missed their stop because she forgot to press the button. At the last second she remembered, and the tram slowed and then came to a halt to let them get off. The summer sky was still light at this hour of the evening, but the streetlamps had just come on. There were lights on in most of the windows, including her parents’ flat. Her heart pounded harder and harder the closer she came. She was going to see her mother again. And her father. Feel their arms around her and see their faces when they caught sight of their grandchildren. Faster and faster she walked, with the kids running valiantly after her, eager to visit their grandparents, whom they hadn’t seen in so long.

At last they stood outside their door. Madeleine’s hand shook as she pressed the bell.