The McDead

Fall out

Tina Logan emerged from the hairdressers. By sweeping her hair up and to the side, the bruising was mostly hidden. Her heart sank when she saw Roberts. He was leaning against his car.

‘Go away.’

‘Tina, Tina … give me five minutes.’

She pushed back her hair, said, ‘Look.’

‘Jesus!’

‘Yeah, so please … he’ll kill me.’

‘I just want to know about Tony, that’s all.’

She sighed, said, ‘Five minutes?’

‘Guaranteed, the clock’s already ticking.’

Got in the car. He asked, ‘Wanna go someplace, get a drink?

‘No, I want to get away from you.’

Reached in her bag, took out a pack of Marlboro Lights, said, ‘Jeez … Lights! If Tommy sees me, I won’t be worrying about cancer. They should put a health warning on men.’

She lit up, said, ‘I suppose this is a “smoke free zone”?’

‘Don’t worry about it.’

She gave him a full look, said, ‘Oh I won’t, you can be sure of that.’

Roberts had a hundred questions, didn’t know where to begin.

She did: ‘It was so corny. I dropped some packages and he helped me. Our eyes locked over a crushed M amp;S bag. I didn’t tell him who I was.

‘Tommy was on his way up and, being more crazy than usual, I started to meet Tony twice a week. He was gentle and where I’m coming from, that’s unheard of.

‘Funny too. I didn’t know men could get you laughing. Then when Tommy began to suspect, I tried to call it off.

‘But not really.

‘I couldn’t give him up. He was like … the beat of my heart. The rest you know. If you’re thinking would I ever say that in a court, forget it.

‘What was Tony to me? He made me feel special. Like, if I was reading The Sun, he wouldn’t look down his nose. Oh yeah, he loved Smokie.’

‘Smoking?’

She laughed, said, ‘No, Smokie, a pop group from the ’70s who kept on playing. Tony said they were the purest pop band … “Living Next Door To Alice”?’

Roberts shook his head and she seemed disappointed, said, ‘You probably listen to classical stuff. Tony said I was his Alice … corny eh?’

She was crying now, said, ‘Ah jeez, me eye make-up is ruined. They tell you it doesn’t run. Believe me, everything runs. Can I go?’

Roberts nodded, said, ‘Tina, I’ll get him.’

‘You probably believe that, but I doubt if you ever will.’ And she was gone.

When Falls met Brant at the station, she said, ‘We have to talk.’

‘Naw, I don’t think so. You did all right-got a commendation. McDonald’s too smart to probe. He knows he was lucky.’

‘But it’s wrong.’

‘Gee, that’s a pity.’ And he strode off.

A few minutes later, the desk sergeant called her, said, ‘Phone, down the hall.’

She picked it up, said, ‘Hello?’

‘It’s Jack.’

‘Oh Jack, I am so sorry, I…

‘Yes, undoubtedly…

‘She was my best mate, Jack.’

A pause.

‘She expressed a certain fondness for you too. I would like you to do something for me.’

Perturbed by his tone, she was off balance, said, ‘Anything.’

‘Please inform your colleagues that we want no police at the funeral. No wreaths or vulgar flowers shaped like a helmet.’

‘OK, Jack, but her friends can surely attend as private mourners, I mean…

‘I most expressly forbid it.’

‘Oh … well, you’re upset.’

‘Don’t counsel me, lassie.’

‘I didn’t mean…

‘Good day to you.’ And he hung up.

Dazed, she stood with the phone in her hand, then thought, It’s good, good he can focus his grief, vent it and get it out.

Then she thought, The self-righteous prick. I’ll send the most vulgar display he’s ever seen … Yeah, fuck you too.