The Only Thing Worse Than Witches

Hiding Rupert

WHEN THE STORM WITCH AND THE NEBULOUS Witch left, Witchling Two sat with her elbows on the table and her face in her fists. “If the Fairfoul Witch knows who you are, then she’s probably on her way here. And you’re in big trouble.”

“Good thing Storm and Nebby did a spell, then.”

“Storm and Nebby put a protection spell around your house, which should hold out against the Fairfoul Witch, but I want to make sure that you are hidden.” She inched toward him eagerly, her eyebrows raised and her mouth curved into a sly grin.

“No…” Rupert said. “No, no, no!”

“I just want to do one itty-bitty invisibility spell!”

“Not a chance!”

Witchling Two leaped to her feet. “Rupert, listen. You are as visible as a flamingo in a desert! I think I know the perfect spell….”

“Get away from me with your spells!”

“Aww, come on. You told me I needed more practice, right?”

“But not on me! I’ll let you do a potion,” said Rupert. “That’s it.”

“No time for a potion,” Witchling Two muttered. “Invisibility potions have to simmer for three days. And the sand potion has to sit for five days, remember?”

“Then, just shower me with sand! What about that?”

“We don’t have any sand around right now. And besides, a spell will last longer.”

“No,” Rupert said. “A thousand million billion times no.”

Witchling Two solemnly shuffled her feet. “I understand,” she sniffed. “I suppose I’ll just fail my Bar Exam now because my apprentice wouldn’t let me try out any spells. In four days, they’ll take away my magic and force me into exile, never to be seen again.” She dramatically hid her face in her hands and whimpered.

“I can’t let you do a spell on me! What would happen if you mess up?”

Witchling Two perked up. “But there’s no way this one can go wrong! Rupert, I swear! I’m choosing a long phrase so my magic can’t confuse itself and produce something that sounds similar.”

Rupert snorted. This logic sounded wrong — so very wrong.

“Now hold still. This is foolproof.”

“Hold on — I didn’t say yes! Hey—”

Witchling Two snapped her fingers. “Make it so he can’t be seen,” she said. “Can’t be seen. Can’t be seen.” She snapped again.

Rupert didn’t dare open his eyes, but then, he didn’t feel any different. Maybe this is just like the potion, he thought. I don’t feel any different, but it still works. Maybe I’m invisible—

Witchling Two screamed.

Rupert opened his eyes and the first thing he saw were green hands. His green hands.

He ran for a mirror, and he stood in front of it, watching his face turn from a peachy color to a pale lime color to a deep emerald color. He looked like a giant fruit fly.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” he shouted. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?”

Witchling Two whimpered, pulling her hair over her head to hide her freckly face. “I said can’t be seen,” she said, cowering away from Rupert’s glare. “But you’re turning green.”

“I can see that!” Rupert snapped. “I thought you said this was foolproof!”

“Well, I thought a longer sentence would do the trick… less chance of sounding like something else.”

“That wasn’t even a very long phrase, Witchling Two!”

She squeaked. “I’m sorry!”

Rupert threw his hands in the air. “Well, that’s just great. Now I’m more visible than ever! Please tell me you can fix this!”

“I’ll just call Nebby and Storm,” Witchling Two said, reaching for the telephone. “They’ll fix you right back to norm—”

BAM.

Even from the basement, Rupert and Witchling Two could hear the front door bang open.