The People’s Republic of Desire

59 Nick, the Star

On New Year's Eve, I invite my single girlfriends Lulu and CC to my house for a potluck dinner. After dinner, we watch the specials on TV together.

One channel features a national English competition of elementary school students. Each contestant gives a five-minute speech on his or her dreams and hopes for the New Year. There are six judges present to award points, and the final score of each contestant is the average of the points, the same as the rules of a diving match. English contests are extremely popular in China; for example, the One-Million-Dollar Show in Hong Kong can draw huge audiences.

"Look. It's Nick on TV!" Lulu has a margarita in one hand and is pointing at the TV screen with the other.

Nick is sitting in the middle of the judges' panel. The camera gives him several close-ups, as the TV presenter explains twice that Nick is an expert from Oxford University. Apparently, he is highly respected.

"My grades were much better than his in Oxford. Why didn't they invite me?" CC protests.

"I guess you look too Chinese. The Chinese like foreign faces better sometimes, especially when it comes to the English." I say.

"Right. I forgot that I'm a fake foreign devil here," CC comments sarcastically.

"I've heard there is a beauty pageant on another channel. Let's appreciate beautiful models instead of that heartbreaker Nick!" I suggest.

We switch the channel to the beauty pageant. Seeing these young, thin, yet beautiful women walk so gracefully on the stage clad only in bikinis, I feel uncomfortable about my own body. I will lose weight and eat less chocolate in the New Year, I silently vow to myself.

After the bikini test, it is announced that each beauty will be given a Q amp; A in English.

"Although I'm not as tall and thin, I speak the Queen's English perfectly." CC comforts herself, trying to find a psychological equilibrium.

But her smile soon freezes as we again see Nick on the TV. On this channel, he is acting as a guest MC. His role is to ask the questions in English to each beauty and to crack jokes. He is confident and princely.

"I didn't know that he's turned into a TV star in such a short time period," CC murmurs. "Before coming to China, Nick was so shy and timid. But now, he has gained confidence. China seems to be a paradise for men. But what about women? These young women here could easily make me, once a college queen, feel fat, plain, unfeminine, and even old. Was it a wise decision to have returned to China from England with Nick?" She wonders.

"This local channel is boring. Let's watch CCTV!" Lulu says.

"Right! Let's watch something intellectual. Like The 59 Minutes," I add.

CC quietly grabs the remote control and quickly switches the channel.

The 59 Minutes features a special edition about China 's progress in the world community over the last year, as well as a forecast of cultural and socioeconomic changes in the New Year.

The host says, "With China's entry into the WTO, more foreign products will come to China, and vice versa. We will see more interaction between the Chinese and foreigners than ever. Romance is one kind of interaction. But fears and misunderstandings can cause problems in interracial romances due to the language and cultural barrier. How can the new generation be prepared for interracial dating? Let's hear what this couple says…"

Unbelievable! This time not only Nick is being interviewed but also Little Fang. They are holding hands in front of the camera, and every few moments, Nick puts his arm around Little Fang's shoulders to give her an affectionate hug.

Nick speaks. "Sometimes it is better not to understand everything the other side says. How does the Chinese saying go? Nande hutu:ignorance is bliss."

Little Fang says, "I'm going to publish a book called How to Date an Englishman. All my advice is in the book. All you need to make your relationship work is to read my book."

The studio audience applauds in admiration.

I steal a glimpse of CC.

CC seems calm. She says to us, "We should all make some New Year's resolutions and share them before midnight. I already have my three wishes for the New Year. One: I want to lose weight. Two: I will find my true love. And three: I will write a small book called How to Dump an Englishman.