The Reluctant Dom

Chapter Nine

Seth somehow managed to pass his finals. Whip training continued, as did his education in other areas. Since he spent more time with Leah, she took over most of his shibari training. She worked with him on the basics while Kaden took over for the more advanced skills.

This would take a while.

Seth still wasn’t comfortable being too intimate with Leah, even though he was constantly nudged in that direction by both his friends. Seth did allow them to demonstrate some of the various implements on him, including Kaden nailing him in the ass with a singletail—albeit while wearing jeans—so Seth could feel what Leah felt. One of Seth’s persistent fears was that he would hurt her. After realizing most of the items weren’t nearly as scary as they looked and sounded, especially considering Leah’s years of experience, he did loosen up and take a more active role in her sessions.

Seth also took it upon himself to be their unofficial photographer, using any and all excuses to get as many candid photos of Kaden and Leah, especially together, that he could. The shibari lessons were an excellent excuse for this. Seth spent plenty of time taking pictures and video of Kaden tying her up on the pretense of needing them for his own use to master the techniques.

So far, he hadn’t noticed much of an outward change in Kaden’s appearance. Seth knew it was just a matter of time before his friend started losing weight. The Christmas lights and party plans continued full force. Kaden was only telling a select few people about his condition, swearing them to secrecy. He didn’t want scores of people constantly coming up to Leah and telling them how sorry they were and dragging out her misery.

Not only did Seth agree with that, he thought it was pretty smart for Kaden to think about it.

Leah, for her part, did fairly well. A couple of times Seth awoke to hear them in the playroom in the middle of the night. One afternoon Seth had come home after class to find Leah crumpled in the middle of the living room floor, a wide-eyed look of despair on her face. She wouldn’t—or couldn’t—talk.

He scooped her up and took her to the playroom. Fortunately, Kaden was already on his way home. By the time he arrived to take over, Seth had warmed her up and gotten her into subspace, even though he didn’t have the routine down pat yet and probably wasn’t nearly as masterly as she would have liked. It took Kaden thirty minutes to get her to cry. When she did, she screamed her agony. Seth quietly slipped out of the room and left them alone.

He accompanied them to the club three more times. They saw Baxter on the second visit, but he didn’t accost them.

On the third visit, Kaden called Seth over after he’d bound Leah to the bench not just with cuffs but with rope. He leaned in.

“Go sit by her head and talk to her, tell her to come for you.”

“What?”

“Do it. It’ll make it even hotter for her.”

Seth dumbly nodded. Usually he just observed during public scenes. He’d never actively participated in one, even though he had at home. He walked over to the bench and knelt next to her, his cheek touching hers, his lips by her ear.

“Do you want to come for me?”

She whimpered around the ball gag. Kaden had already warmed her up with the flogger and paddle and was now standing behind her with one of the more flexible riding crops. It had a longer flapper on the end, and Seth knew when Kaden struck her just right with it, between her legs, it would quickly make her come.

Seth closed his eyes. “Come for me, sweetheart,” he whispered.

She jumped and moaned as Kaden started swinging. Seth knew these kinds of swats weren’t as hard as the ones he laid sideways across the fleshy part of her ass, but it still set off conflicting emotions inside him. Horror, that he was helping her get beaten.

And desire, wanting to make her explode.

To come for him.

He continued whispering to her. Within a few minutes, her body tensed as she screamed around the ball gag.

“Where are we, love?” Kaden asked.

She flashed an okay sign.

Kaden quickly worked to untie the ropes and undo her cuffs. When he was near her head, he leaned over and whispered in Seth’s ear, “Take her off the bench, ungag her, and hold her.”

Swallowing hard, he did. She curled in his arms, and he automatically cuddled her close to him, protectively, wanting to close out the world and do nothing but hold her like this.

Seth was vaguely aware of Kaden putting away their equipment and wiping down the bench.

Aftercare. He felt her need as she softly cried in his arms, like a violent earthquake had rocked her and now she was suffering through the aftershocks.

He pressed his lips to her temple. “You okay?”

She nodded but didn’t move.

Once Kaden had put his shirt on, he knelt beside them and brushed the hair from her face. “How are we, love?” he softly asked.

“Green,” she whispered.

“Very good love. Feel like getting dressed now?”

She nodded. Seth pressed a kiss to her forehead and helped her to her feet.

He could have sat there all night holding her like that. It wasn’t even so much a sexual experience as it was an emotional one, like she’d been viscerally stripped bare and trusted him to keep her safe until she could function again.

Like he was protecting her.

It was that vision floating through his mind as he drifted to sleep later that night.

Seth had lived with them for five weeks when Kaden informed him he had scheduled his Atlanta trip. The men were playing guitar in the den while Leah cooked dinner.

“You should probably sleep with her while I’m gone.”

Seth groaned. “Dude, I told you—”

“I meant sleep sleep, not sex sleep. I don’t think she’ll do well sleeping alone. It’ll be too much of a preview of…after.”

Could he do that and not get himself in trouble?

Then again, was it “trouble” when that was the plan in the first place? “I’ll figure something out. I’ll keep an eye on her.”

“I’ll only be gone two nights. I’ll leave Tony’s number. If something really bad happens you can call him and he’ll come help.”

The thought of Tony touching Leah left a bad taste in Seth’s mouth despite how much he liked the guy.

“Not to work with her personally,” Kaden clarified, correctly interpreting Seth’s expression. “To advise you on what to do. I already talked to him. He would come over only to talk you through things, be your safety net, so to speak.”

That relieved him. That there would be backup a phone call away was reassuring. “I would still call you first.”

“I would expect you to.”

Kaden had a doctor’s appointment before he left. He took Seth with him. Leah was at a meeting for one of her nonprofits.

The oncologist wasn’t enthusiastic, just pragmatic. “You seem to be stable.”

“How long?”

Seth sat in a chair in the corner and cringed. He didn’t want to hear this.

The doctor shrugged. “You know I can’t give you a definite. It could be two months, or it could be two years. Realistically I would safely estimate a year at this rate of progression. Possibly longer. It was caught early, all things considered.”

Seth felt hopeful. “Did you say two years? You said two years!”

Kaden smirked. “And this is why I don’t bring Leah. She would only hear the good stuff and not reality.”

The doctor shrugged again. “You’re refusing treatment. That would still buy you a few months.”

Kaden firmly shook his head. “We’re not having that discussion again.”

“Okay.”

Seth quietly rode home with Kaden. Two years! That would…well, it would still suck that they’d lose Kaden, but he wasn’t taking a single day for granted.

As if sensing his friend’s thoughts, Kaden said, “Don’t you say a word to her about the appointment. Especially two years. If you tell her that and it happens next month, it’ll kill her.”

“I know. I won’t.” No, he wouldn’t tell Leah.

But he’d hold on to his private, silent hope.

The airport limo arrived early on Wednesday morning to drive Kaden up to Tampa International. The three of them took a few minutes hugging and saying good-bye. After Kaden hugged and kissed Leah, he hugged Seth. “Love you, man.”

“Love you, too. Still not doing you.”

Kaden laughed, which made Seth smile. “Still not doing you, either. Take care of our girl for me.” He shook his finger at Leah and dropped his voice. “You behave yourself. You listen to Sir, love. Remember, make Me proud.”

Her skin flushed, and she nodded. “Yes, Master,” she whispered.

“Good girl, love. I’ll be home day after tomorrow.” He hugged and kissed her one more time before stepping into the waiting car. When it drove off, Seth followed Leah into the house.

Without classes to study for, Seth threw himself into his BDSM training. He had already read every book Kaden owned on the subject and spent hours practicing shibari with Leah. Later that afternoon they moved to the lanai for more whip training with the singletail.

His aim had improved, although he didn’t trust himself with a live target yet, even one wearing protective clothing. He was still too erratic in his throwing style and worried about hurting someone. But he had worked up to forty-five minutes at a time with the thing.

They quietly ate dinner on the couch in front of the TV. Seth felt Leah’s tension grow as the night wore on. Kaden called around nine, which helped her for a little while. Seth played guitar for her, sticking with more upbeat tunes he hoped would keep her out of her funk.

While he’d made her come several times as part of their sessions, an admittedly irrational mental justification allowed him to see that as part of something necessary for her. But to make love to her in a romantic, give-and-take way still lay beyond his mental and emotional ability to cope with no matter how okay his body apparently was with it. Hell, he was still trying cope with the fact that Kaden was dying when he looked so healthy.

They were just going to have to give him the time he needed to wrap his freaking head around it or he’d lose his mind.

Close to bedtime he sensed her disquiet. He pulled an ace out of his sleeve.

“Love”—it still felt strange to call her that—“I want you to sleep with me tonight. I’m very tired and just want to cuddle.” He leaned close and dropped his voice to a firm growl. “But only sleep. If you don’t behave, I’ll have to tell Master you were not a good girl.”

She smiled. “I’ll behave.”

He kissed her forehead. “Very good. I think I’d be more comfortable if you slept in my bed tonight. Go get ready.”

“What should I wear to sleep in?”

While he’d let her run around naked more often, there was no way he could share a bed with her naked. “Long T-shirt.” She started to look pouty, and he growled again. “Listen, I’m going to be sleeping with you. Remember, you’re letting me ease into this. It’s one step closer.”

That lifted her spirits. She went to get ready, and he returned to his bedroom and left the door open.

He usually slept naked, but tonight he put on a pair of sleeping shorts. No way in hell would he risk it.

When they finally curled up together he spooned against her back and enjoyed the way his arm perfectly fit around her waist. Did she fit Kaden’s body this well?

Oh, cut that shit out right now. That was not a healthy line of thought. Not a place he even wanted to think about going.

Surprisingly, even though he thought his cock might want to stiffen, he fell asleep. And he awoke from that sound sleep around two a.m., when he felt her shift in his arms and sit up.

“What’s wrong?” he mumbled.

She didn’t answer. His heart hammered in his chest, and he sat up, pulling her to him. “What’s wrong?”

She still didn’t answer but let him pull her closer. “I miss him,” she finally whispered.

“I know, babe.” He tried to relax. “It’s okay.”

He coaxed her into lying down next to him, but she wasn’t settled by any stretch of the imagination. In a fit of inspiration, he told her to roll onto her stomach. She did.

He gently stroked her back and enjoyed the soft, pleasant sounds she made at his touch.

Now his cock tried to stiffen.

“Do you need to feel the bite?” he whispered.

“A little,” she admitted.

He swatted her, bare-handed, across her ass. She jumped. He swatted her again, and he knew he didn’t imagine it when she wiggled her hips against his hand and buried her face deeper into her pillow.

He spanked her as hard as he could, a total of twenty swats, leaving his hand stinging. When he finished she was breathing heavily, her body practically vibrating on the mattress next to him.

“Where are we, love?”

“Green, Sir,” she said with a sigh.

He slid one hand between her legs and found her clit. She squirmed against the mattress, and in a few minutes she moaned into the pillow when she came.

It was almost like she melted into the bed from the sudden relaxation that swept over her.

He curled around her again, hoping she was too out of it to feel his stiff erection pressing against her backside.

After another hour, he finally fell asleep.

When he awoke the next morning, he almost panicked when he realized she wasn’t in bed with him. “Leah?”

“I’m getting coffee,” she called from the kitchen.

Deep sigh of relief. If he fucked up and she did something while Kaden was gone, he’d never forgive himself. He got out of bed and used the bathroom. By the time he finished she was walking through the bedroom door with a beautiful smile on her face and his cup of morning goodness in her hands.

“Thank you, sweetie.”

She paused, as if waiting for something else. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. He wanted to plant a deep one on her lips and knew that would lead to spending all day in bed with her.

Wait, why was he fighting?

Because she’s still my best friend’s wife, that’s why.

“You’re welcome, Sir.”

Oh crap, formal.

“Are you okay, hon?”

She nodded and only a little cloud flitted through her eyes. “Is it okay if I’m formal?”

“Sure.”

She relaxed. If it helped her, he’d do it. “Thank you, Sir.”

“What’s on the agenda for today?”

“Master said for me to work with You on the ropes and the singletail.”

Seth also knew he needed to mow. It’d been nearly a week. In the wet Florida climate, the lawn was growing at a jungle-inducing rate. “I need to do some chores first.”

“Will you go grocery shopping with me, Sir?”

Of course he would. He’d go to hell and back for her. Publix was easy. “Let me get my chores done first, and then we’ll go.”

She fixed his breakfast. Later, he noticed that she sat either on the front porch or back lanai and watched him mow. She reminded him of a lost child.

He was in the shower when Leah knocked on the bathroom door. “Sir?”

He’d grown comfortable with her coming into the bathroom when he was in the shower as long as she didn’t try to open the shower door.

“Yeah, hon?”

“Master’s on the phone. He said He has to talk to you right now.”

“It can’t wait until after I’m out of the shower?”

“No, Sir. I asked. He said it can’t.”

Argh. “Hold on.” She only had her arm stuck through the bathroom door, anticipating he’d be naked.

At least she wasn’t trying to push him too hard.

He stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his hips, and then took the phone. She pulled the door closed.

“Dude, shower time. What is so fucking important it can’t wait five minutes?”

“Is she all right? She doesn’t sound right.”

Seth shivered when he felt the AC kick on. “Yeah, she seems okay. Can’t this wait?”

“No, it can’t. She sounded out of it.”

Seth dropped his voice, unsure if she stood on the other side of the door or not. “She had a little episode last night. Nothing major. I took care of it, didn’t even have to take her to the playroom.” It felt weird talking to Kaden about Leah like this.

“Why is she being formal?”

“She asked to.”

“That’s a warning sign right there.”

Seth’s gut curled in an unpleasant way. “Well, fuck, you could have told me that shit before you left! Is there anything else I need to know, genius?”

“Just keep a very close eye on her. Don’t give her any more time by herself than you have to. Spend the whole day with her. Keep her busy.”

“I’m going to the store with her in a little while.”

“Good. You might want to get her to the playroom before you go to bed.”

His stomach curled again. “Why do it if it’s not necessary?”

“Blow off some pressure before it builds up. Use training as an excuse. It’ll help.”

He hated using the harder implements on her even though he knew it was relatively safe. Swatting her on the ass with his hand, he could dig that. Frankly, it was kind of hot the way she squirmed and enjoyed it, and he knew he couldn’t hurt her. “Can I just play it by ear?”

“Don’t leave her alone today. Seriously.”

“All right. Fine. Let me get back in the shower. I’m fucking freezing.”

He hung up and peeked out the bathroom door. Leah was nowhere to be seen. Hopefully she hadn’t listened in. “Leah?” he called.

She appeared in the bedroom doorway a moment later. “Yes, Sir?”

He held out the phone. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Sir.”

He climbed back into the shower, turning the water hotter to get rid of his chills. While he had been planning on blowing off a little of his own tension, the worry now pulsing through his mind killed his boner.

With Kaden’s words echoing through his brain, Seth kept close tabs on Leah. If she was slipping into a deeper sadness, she was doing a damn good job of hiding it from him. He drove Kaden’s truck and talked Leah into taking a few side trips before hitting the grocery store, getting parts he really didn’t need for the mower and items he did need to add some external electrical circuits to accommodate Kaden’s amped-up plans for his biggest light display ever.

It apparently worked. By the time they returned home late that afternoon and he helped her unload the groceries from the back of the Ridgeline, Leah seemed fine.

He was out in the garage when the sound of shattering glass and Leah’s strangled cry scared the living crap out of him. He ran inside and found her clutching her arm, red splattered all over the kitchen floor. He slid to a stop at the edge of the kitchen, only marginally relieved to see the red covering the tile floor was red glass from a shattered pitcher.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Leah cried. She looked panicked. He spotted a trickle of blood between her fingers where she had her right hand clamped around her left forearm, just below her elbow. “It was an accident, Sir! I was trying to get the pitcher down so I could make your sangria!”

“It’s okay, hon.” He forced his voice to stay calm and steady. “I know it was an accident. I can see that. Don’t move.” She was in bare feet, and he had already kicked his shoes off. The kitchen floor was a minefield of red glass. The stepstool and open top cabinet door were more proof of her intentions. “Stay right there. Do not move.” Seth raced to the front door, yanked on his sneakers, then carefully stepped into the kitchen.

Glass crunched under his feet. Now she trembled, and he worried about her going into shock. “How bad is your arm?”

“I’m scared to look. It hurts really bad. I didn’t mean to do it, I swear! I lost my balance when I was stepping down. I guess I hit the pitcher on the counter.” The slate counters looked totally stunning but were fucking murder on anything breakable. He’d already broken two glasses and a plate himself. A few pieces of glass on the counter also supported her story.

The sight of her blood turned his stomach. He tried for a masterly tone. “Calm down, love. You’re okay. It was just an accident.”

She nodded, her eyes tearing up.

He grabbed a dish towel off the counter. She lifted her fingers enough he could slip it around her arm. From the amount of blood, he suspected she’d need stitches.

Fuck. Great. Kaden goes off for two fucking days, and I have to take her to the ER. Fuck!

“Hold that there. Don’t let go.”

She nodded.

He carefully scooped her into his arms and stopped at the doorway so he could kick his shoes off. He didn’t want to track glass through the house. Seth carried her down to the master bathroom and set her on the counter. First things first, he checked her feet for glass so she could walk. She had two scratches along the tops of her feet, probably from bouncing glass, and one small shard still embedded in the side of her foot. She told him where the tweezers were, and he removed the glass from her foot.

Next, her arm. Yes, it was deep, fortunately not into a vein, from the looks of it. He put the dish towel back and clamped her hand over it.

“Okay. Listen to me. You have to get stitches.” Her eyes welled with tears, and he shook his head. “This was an accident, love. Stop worrying. Master will not be mad at you. If anything, he’ll be pissed at me because I’d asked you to make the damn sangria in the first place.”

At that she smiled a little.

“We’ve got to get you dressed. And that”—he pointed at her collar—“has to come off.” While it was the thin leather collar, and her long hair hid the locking buckle in the back so she could wear it in casual situations in public without worry, there was no way in hell he could take her to the ER wearing it.

She blanched, vigorously shaking her head. “No! Master put it on me. I can’t take it off!”

Fuck.

“Leah,” he sternly said, “Master told you I’m in charge and you listen to me, right?”

She finally nodded, her eyes wide and brimming with tears.

He kept his voice firm and stern. “It has to come off. I take you to the hospital wearing that, they’ll call in the cops to ask how the fuck you got hurt and accuse me of doing it. Where’s the key?”

She finally answered him. “On a silver chain, in the top left dresser drawer. My day collar is there, too.” The locking silver necklace looked completely harmless in vanilla situations.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll put your day collar on you. Okay?”

She relaxed a little. He needed to speed this up because blood had started seeping through the dish towel. He had to drive her to the emergency room and get her taken care of. He rushed into the bedroom, found the key and her silver necklace, and made the switch. Then he guided her into the bedroom and helped her get dressed. He had to change the sodden dish towel out and grabbed a bath towel for her to hold around her arm.

“Where’s your purse?”

“Living room.”

He found it and carried her out to the Lexus, ran back inside to grab his cell phone and lock the house. Now the adrenaline crash hit him and he had to focus to keep his hands from shaking as he got into the car and started it.

Leah looked pale. “Talk to me, love,” he said.

“It hurts.”

“I know it does, love.”

“I have to call Master and tell Him. I have to tell Him immediately when something happens.”

“Hey, kiddo, I was right there. Remember, I’m in charge. It’s okay. I’ll call him once we get you taken care of.”

She nodded and rested her head against the seat.

He gently slapped her thigh. “Don’t close your eyes.” They were ten minutes from the closest hospital. He didn’t know if she’d go into shock over something like this, but he wasn’t taking any chances. “Stay awake. Don’t go to sleep.”

She nodded again, but he didn’t like her pale skin tone.

At the hospital he parked, then carried Leah into the ER. The triage nurse took one look at her arm and immediately directed them back to a bed. Within five minutes Leah was being examined and sutured. At least she’d kept enough of her wits about her to drop the formal act.

Seth handled registration and insurance for her while she was being treated. Kaden had set up medical power of attorney paperwork already, but Seth never imagined he’d need it for Leah. When asked his relation to the patient, Seth took a nervous breath.

“Family caretaker,” he answered, handing over folded copies of the paperwork from his wallet. It was a term Kaden had come up with, thinking it would cause them the least amount of grief and raise the fewest eyebrows over the next several months.

Apparently, it was more than good enough for the administrator. She made copies and returned them to him without further questions. By the time he returned to Leah’s side the doctor was almost finished suturing her. She’d gouged a deep, four-inch-long gash along the meaty part of her inner arm. With a shot of pain meds to calm her, Seth asked her for more details.

“It happened so fast. I was stepping down, and I lost my balance. I was holding the pitcher in my right hand, by the handle. When it broke I still had the chunk of handle in my hand, and I think that’s what got me. Glass was bouncing all over the place.”

That made sense. “I’ll call Kaden in a few minutes. You relax. That’s an order.”

She closed her eyes and nodded.

They wanted to keep an eye on her for a little while. While her blood pressure had stabilized, it had been on the low side when he brought her in. He agreed with that and stepped outside to make the call he didn’t want to make. By this time it was after six. He knew Kaden would be out of his meetings.

“Hey, what’s up?”

Seth closed his eyes. “Do not freak out on me.”

“What?”

“I’m serious, dude. Do not freak out on me.”

“You’re freaking me out now, goddamn it! Is Leah okay?”

“She’s fine. There was an accident. It was just an accident.”

“Oh my God! What happened?”

Seth related the incident. Kaden sounded shaky. “I’ll try to get a flight home tonight.”

“No, she’s okay. Seriously. She’s fine. Once they release her I’ll get her home and put her to bed. They’ve given her pain meds. I’ve got a fucking mess to clean up in the kitchen.”

Kaden hesitated. “Are you sure it was an accident?”

“Yeah. I know it sounds coincidental, but if you’d seen the way she was freaking out—”

Kaden breathed a deep sigh of relief Seth heard on his end. “Okay. If she was upset then it probably was an accident. If it’s not an accident, if she does something on purpose, she tries to hide it and blow it off. At least, she used to.”

“No, dude, I’ll swear it was an accident. I’d asked her to mix a pitcher of sangria.”

“Aw, it was the red pitcher she broke?”

He expected a lot of comments but not that. “Yeah. How’d you know?”

“She always uses that one to make your sangria. She likes the way the orange slices look inside it. It’s one of her favorites. Damn, I’ll have to see if I can find her another one.”

Seth sat on the curb, his own stress catching up with him. “She panicked when I told her I had to take her collar off.”

“Poor thing. As soon as you can, I want to talk to her. Tell her I’m not mad at her.”

“Let me get back in there and check on her.”

She was dozing but opened her eyes when he took her hand. “Did you talk to Master?” she whispered.

He nodded. “He’s not upset. He told me to tell you he’s not mad.” She closed her eyes again, and a tear rolled down her cheek, scaring Seth. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It was an accident, Leah. Accidents happen.”

“But now He’s worried. He shouldn’t be stressed in His condition.”

Danger!

“Love”—Seth made sure to use a low, firm voice—“calm down. He’s not stressed. He was worried until I told him the whole story. He knows it was an accident.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, he’s not happy you got hurt, but he’s not stressed like that. He’s okay. Shit happens.”

She nodded.

She was released a half hour later. Once they were in the car, Seth dialed Kaden and handed Leah his phone.

He watched as she closed her eyes and talked with Kade. Her left arm was bandaged, and she needed to get it checked in a couple of days. He had two prescriptions to fill for her, an antibiotic and pain meds. He pulled into a pharmacy and left Leah in the car, still talking to Kaden on the phone while he was inside waiting for the medicine.

Back home. He’d finally stopped feeling weird calling it home. It was home. It felt like home. Maybe he wasn’t at the point where he could think about it as his in terms of owning it, but he certainly felt comfortable there, like he was part of the family.

He carried her inside and laid her on the couch. “I’ll make you some dinner after I get the kitchen cleaned up,” he said.

She started to protest. He cut her off. “No. You get taken care of tonight.”

“But that’s my job!”

He whipped out his cell phone and called Kaden, then put him on the phone with her while he went to clean up the glass and heat her some leftovers. By the time he returned with her food, Kaden had apparently mollified her.

She handed Seth the phone. “Master wants to talk with You, Sir.”

“Thanks, love.” He took it to his bedroom and shut the door. “Don’t fucking tell me to give her a session tonight. I won’t do it. I don’t care what you say.”

He laughed. “No, I wasn’t going to tell you that. Pain meds zonk her out. She hates taking them. She’ll be sound asleep in an hour, I bet. Probably sleep until noon tomorrow.”

Relief! “Thank God.”

“You did good.”

“Promise me this gets easier.”

“Just follow your heart. We’ll talk more tomorrow after I get home.”

Seth returned to the kitchen, nuked himself a plate of food, and sat next to Leah on the couch. She’d picked at her food but hadn’t made much headway.

“You’d better eat.”

“I’m so sleepy.”

“I know, babe. It’s the meds they gave you.”

He finished his dinner and made her lay down with her head in his lap while they watched TV. Before long, she’d developed an unfocused stare he knew was due to the pain meds taking hold in her system.

“What are we going to do without him?” she whispered.

Oh, fuck. He did not want to have this talk with her right now.

“We’ll be okay. It’ll take some time, but we’ll be okay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

She was quiet for a while. He’d hoped she’d fallen asleep. Then she spoke again. “I’m going to miss him so much.” Large tears rolled down her face.

“Me too, babe.” He felt his own tears close to the surface and tried to push them away.

“How long do we have?”

“Babe, we don’t need to talk about this.”

“How long?” Her voice sounded soft but firm. Her quiet tears unnerved him. Maybe being zonked out on pain meds was helping her safely process things.

“I don’t know. Every day is a gift. He’s still strong. He’s got a lot of life in him. I can’t give you a time frame.”

“You went with him to the oncologist.”

Shit. She hadn’t acted like she knew about Kaden’s appointment. “The doctors don’t know.”

She turned her head and looked him in the eye. “I know he made you promise not to tell me. That’s something he’d do. But I need to know, Seth. I need an idea.”

He shrugged. “They don’t know. At least several months if there’s no drastic decline.”

“After Christmas?”

He nodded. “Hopefully. At this rate, most likely well after Christmas.”

She nodded and wiped her face with her good hand. “Okay. That’s good enough for me for now.” She fell silent again for a few minutes. “Thank you for taking pictures. I appreciate that.”

“I didn’t know you were paying attention.”

She smiled. “I see more than you think I do.” Her smile faded. “I keep trying not to think about it. That it’s probably his last Christmas. But it’s hard not to.”

“I know.”

“He wants you to go to the club alone with me before we get crazy with the holiday stuff.”

That was news to Seth. He fought a brief moment of panic. “What?”

“You’re ready.”

“Like hell I am.”

“He didn’t tell me exactly why, but I know.” She took a deep breath, more tears flowing. “He wants it to happen so he can help us work on it more if we need him. Before he starts to get really sick. He said it was because of the parties and lights and stuff, but he’s not fooling me. I know he’s trying to take it easy on me.”

“Does that bother you?”

“No. It doesn’t hurt so much to think about it tonight because I’m in a lot of pain already.”

Ahh. That explained it. “The drugs help, too, I’m sure.”

She weakly smiled. “A little.”

“Listen, I catch you trying to doctor shop to get scripts, I’ll freaking tie you up and not let you come for a month.”

Her eyes widened, then she laughed, long and hard.

Well, he’d finally managed to make her laugh for the day.

She was still crying, but at least she smiled. “Thank you, Seth.”

She finally fell asleep. Once she was softly snoring in his lap, he carried her to his bedroom and gently tucked her into his bed. He cleaned up their dinner dishes and turned out all the lights. Turning on his TV, he set the sleep timer, then curled around her and gently kissed her forehead.

“I promise, I’ll take care of you. We’ll get through it, babe.”

It took him a long time to finally get to sleep, the memory of her tears fresh in his mind.

She was still sound asleep at seven the next morning. He carefully extricated himself from her arms. In sleep she had rolled over and cuddled tightly against him, practically clinging to his side. He started coffee and checked his cell phone, no calls from Kade. He knew Kade’s flight was at eleven and his friend would already be awake.

“She still asleep?” Kaden asked.

“Yep. Dead to the world.”

“Good. The irony is, perhaps it’s for the best she did this.”

“I told you, it was a freaking accident.”

“I know. I believe it was, too. I’m not saying I’m happy she got hurt. In the grand scheme of things, it’ll probably help her.”

Seth didn’t know if he wanted to fess up about their conversation. That could wait until Kade returned. “How do I convince her to just sit and chill out today and let me take care of her?”

“Sit and talk. Play your guitar for her. Tell her what would make you happy for today is to spoil her rotten.”

Well, that was the truth. She already took damn good care of him. It didn’t matter that both Kade and Leah thought they owed Seth for doing this. Seth felt he owed them.

He scrambled himself some eggs and frequently walked down the hall to look in on Leah. Still zonked. He suspected it probably wasn’t just the meds but the accumulated stress and grief taking its toll. It was good she could rest.

Now with Kaden’s trip out of the way, he would spend most of his time at the house. Still some work to clear up, he’d explained, but what he had left, he could mostly do from home.

A little before eleven Seth grabbed his laptop and started back to the bedroom to sit with Leah when the house phone rang.

“Shit.” He raced for it, hoping it wouldn’t wake Leah.

“Kaden?” the woman asked.

Aw, fuck. He knew that voice. Kaden’s younger sister.

“No, Denise, it’s Seth.” He wished he’d let it go to voicemail.

The frost in her voice would have comfortably air-conditioned the entire house, even with every last freaking window open. “What are you doing answering their phone?”

Denise had never liked Seth, even as kids. The feeling was mutual. Kaden hadn’t broken the news to his family yet about him dying, hadn’t told them about Seth living there either. He wanted to wait until after the holidays, if possible.

“Kaden’s out of town. He’s coming back tonight.” The less said, the better.

“I tried his cell and he didn’t answer. Leah’s not answering hers, either.”

“She’s asleep.” He realized as soon as the words left his mouth that it was the wrong thing to say.

“What do you mean she’s asleep? How would you know?”

He might as well have waved a red flag in front of a bull. “She had a small accident yesterday, cut her arm, just a few stitches, no big deal. The pain meds knocked her out.”

“Well, I’ll come over and stay with her until he gets home. You said he’s coming home tonight. You can go do whatever you do.” First the suspicion, now the condescension.

Fan-fucking-tastic. “No, Denise, that’s not necessary. It’s under control.”

“You can’t stay with her.”

“I’m studying to be a nurse, and I’ve had medic training. I’d say I’m a better person to stay with her than you are.”

“If she’s hurt she should have family with her.”

I am family.

Instead, he said, “Kaden asked me to stay with her. You have a problem with that, you can take it up with your brother tomorrow. You will not come in here and start your shit.”

“How dare you!”

If he didn’t get off the fucking phone with her and fast, he would blow his top. Leah didn’t like Denise either. It confused the hell out of him why Denise was suddenly so insistent on taking care of her sister-in-law when they rarely spoke anyway. He glanced at the time and knew it was too late to call Kaden. He’d be on the plane already.

“Good-bye, Denise. When Kaden gets home, I’ll tell him you called.” He hung up before she could argue, then he turned the ringer off.

He was sitting in bed with his laptop propped in his lap and MSNBC turned on low when Leah finally awoke around noon.

“Hey, babe. How you feel?”

She winced, trying not to move her arm. “It hurts.”

He helped her sit up and got her another pain pill. “Master’s orders, you let me take care of you today. Got it, love?”

She weakly smiled. “Believe it or not, I won’t argue with you. It really hurts.”

“Not the good pain, huh?”

She laughed, wincing. “No, not even close to the good pain.” At least he’d gotten his laugh for the day out of her. He made sure she could stand without falling and helped her to her room. She promised to yell if she had problems. He left her bedroom door open so he could hear her.

In a little while she emerged, and he brought her breakfast out to the couch. They watched TV, talked, and she dozed while he caught up on his e-mail. When the doorbell rang a little after one, Seth carefully extricated himself from where Leah was using him as a pillow.

Denise glared at him and pushed her way inside. “Where is she? I want to talk to her.”

Leah sat up. “Denise?”

“Oh, you poor thing! What happened to you?” The fake syrupy concern dripping from Denise’s voice could have put an elephant into a sugar coma.

Leah nervously glanced at Seth. “It’s nothing. What are you doing here?”

Denise glared at Seth. “Well, this so-called friend of yours tried to keep me away. He was very rude. I told him I’d come over to take care of you until Kaden comes home.”

Seth walked to the back of the couch and stood behind Leah. “I told you, Denise, no. Your presence isn’t required or desired.”

“How dare you!” Denise looked at Leah and grabbed her right hand. “Listen, my friend, Brianna, she overheard Kaden and Ed talking the other day at a Rotary meeting. What’s going on? Why haven’t you two told us he’s sick?”

Aw, fuck. “Okay, Denise, that’s enough.” Seth walked around the couch. “Out you go.”

“You have no right to run me out of here!”

“Yes, I do, because it’s my house. I live here now.”

He could have dropped his pants and taken a shit on the coffee table, and it wouldn’t have shocked her as much as that revelation. “What?”

“He doesn’t want anyone to know about his personal life, so keep your fucking mouth shut.” Now it made sense. The greedy bitch wanted to worm her way into Kaden’s good graces and hopefully get her hands on some of his money. She was always in debt, and her lazy-assed husband spent more time getting fired than he did working.

Denise looked at Leah. “Tell him he can’t order me out. I’m your sister-in-law.”

Leah’s blank stare scared the crap out of Seth. “He told you to get out. I’m telling you to get out. I’m also telling you to keep your fucking mouth shut. Kaden doesn’t want anyone to know his private business. If he wants you to know what goes on in our lives, he’ll tell you.”

Had she yelled it, it would have relieved Seth. But Leah’s soft, nearly passive whisper made his balls draw up tight against his belly in fear.

Fuck.

Denise sat back, briefly stunned into momentary silence. “You don’t mean that.”

“She meant it. Now do you leave, or do I call the cops and have your ass hauled out of here in handcuffs?”

Denise glared at them both before finally storming out of the house. She made sure to slam the door behind her. He’d have to see about getting their front gate code changed. He’d forgotten she knew it.

Whew. Now for Leah. He turned and dropped to his knees in front of her, grabbed her hands. “Babe, talk to me.”

She closed her eyes and cried. It started quietly, building into anguished screams similar to what happened after a particularly intense session.

He sat next to Leah on the couch and carefully folded her into his arms as she sobbed herself to sleep. She was still asleep when Kaden rushed in a little after four. “Is she okay?”

Seth carefully extricated himself from Leah, grabbed Kaden’s arm and dragged him back to the playroom, shutting the door behind them.

“Call your fucking sister right now and ban her from the goddamned house.”

“What?”

Seth related the events. Kaden looked like he would explode. “Okay. I wondered why she was calling me all of a sudden.” He pulled out his cell phone, and Seth returned to the living room after closing the playroom door behind him. A few times he thought he heard Kaden’s enraged voice screaming from the back of the house. Fifteen minutes later, his face red, Kaden made a beeline through the living room and straight to the kitchen.

Seth followed him and found Kaden pouring himself a drink. “Want one?” Kaden asked.

Seth shook his head. He was trying not to drink. He was never an alcoholic, but he certainly didn’t need to be overimbibing at a time like this. He’d been limiting himself to just a few beers or glasses of wine a week, usually one after dinner, if even that.

“Well?”

Kaden took a drink. “God only knows how many people the bitch has told by now, even though she doesn’t know anything. Looking for sympathy. Fuck.” He set his jaw. “This is what I did not want to happen. I had no idea anyone could hear us talking. Fucking nosy eavesdropping bitch.” He took another drink.

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her our personal life was none of her fucking business, and if I caught wind of her spreading stories about me, that I would tell everyone how I had to bail her husband out of jail on solicitation charges a couple of years ago.”

Seth froze, then laughed. “You never told me that! Fuck.”

“If you were married to Denise, wouldn’t you want to see a hooker?”

Seth laughed, long and hard, enjoying the slight smile that finally crept across Kaden’s face. “Well, I guess you’re right there.” Seth rubbed his face. “Go sit with her. She’ll be happy you’re home when she wakes up. I’ll fix dinner.”

Kaden drained his drink and turned to Seth. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded thick with emotion. “Thank you. I mean it. For everything. Especially for taking care of Leah. I meant it when I said I love you.”

“Yeah, well, I love you too, dude. But like I said—”

“I’m still not doing you,” Kaden finished.

They grinned and laughed. This time Kaden’s broad smile made him look a couple of years younger.