The Secrets of a Lady

Chapter Sixteen

Griffin hated when he didn’t know what was happening around him. It reminded him of the long nights he’d waited for Luci to return from her parties, guessing what she’d been doing, but never certain. The same was now true with Audrey.

She had come back into the ballroom pale and shaky, holding her brother’s arm as if he were all that kept her upright. Griffin had wanted to run to her, to take her in his arms and kiss her until the look of terror left her face. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t because that would harm her beloved cover, and it would shame her in front of the ton.

Now though, as they raced back to his home in his carriage, he expected some kind of explanation. But Noah and Audrey were silent except for the worried glances they traded. Looks that locked him out of their world with no chance of entry.

“Will your mother and father come to visit tomorrow?” Audrey’s dull voice broke the silence in the carriage.

“Probably,” he said with a shrug. He hadn’t given much thought to his parents since Audrey had been trapped alone with Ellison. “They don’t intend to stay in the city long. Mother says London is stifling after the Season is over. Much too hot for her in the summer.”

She sighed. “I often feel the same way. Cities all over the world are like that. Too hot and too crowded.”

Griffin winced as the laughing young lady he cared for so much turned to a woman jaded by too many missions and too many cities.

“But you like many of those places, too, Audrey,” her brother reminded her gently. “You always tell me they each have their own unique charm.”

Audrey was silent as she looked at the lights of the city. Her only movement was a slight correction of balance as they turned onto Griffin’s street. The carriage stopped and the footman opened the door, offering her his hand as she stepped out.

“You had a long evening.” Noah stepped out and patted her hand before he slipped it into the crook of his elbow. “You need to rest.”

“Noah, you don’t have to tuck me in,” she said. “You have someplace to go, don’t you?”

Motioning with her head back toward the carriage, she smiled, but the expression was almost emotionless.

Her brother’s eyes crinkled with concern. “I can take a moment to escort you into the house.”

“I’ll escort her.” Griffin held out his hand to Audrey. “You go and take care of whatever it is you need to do to end this madness.”

Noah hesitated for a moment, then nodded as he swung back into the rig. After conferring with the driver, they were off again, leaving a cloud of dust in their wake.

Audrey watched the coach go for a moment, then turned to look up at Griffin. Her smile was shy, not the one of a woman who knew him, or had touched him the way she had just one day before. She looked younger, more vulnerable.

“Come inside.” He took her arm and led her into the house, but instead of releasing her go at the foot of the stairs, he kept going up until he passed her room and entered his own.

At his doorway, she pulled back with a blush. “Griffin!”

“Come inside and talk to me. It’s private here and no one has to know.” He pushed the door shut behind him.

“Well…” her tone was unsure, but she didn’t flee his room. She did shrug from his arms, though, pacing nervously to the window in the sitting area of his chamber. He could feel how distracted and conflicted she was.

“Do you want to tell me what happened once I left the terrace?”

“You don’t want to know.” She dropped her chin to stare at the wooden planks in the floor below. “But do you think you could just…”

He drew in a breath at her hesitation as he took a long step in her direction. “Just what?”

Her eyes came up slowly and met his. “Do you think you could hold me for a moment?”

He didn’t answer, but opened his arms and drew her into his embrace, holding her against his chest as she took shuddering breath after shuddering breath. She wasn’t crying, merely hugging him as tightly as her arms could manage. As if she feared he might vanish if she lessened her grip even a fraction.

“Audrey,” he whispered into her hair, breathing in the subtle fragrance of lilacs and lemons. “Please talk to me. Allow me to help you in some way.”

Turning her chin up, she looked at him. Her face was full of desire as well as other emotions. It was enough to make his entire body clench in reaction.

“You can’t help me,” she whispered even as she lifted her lips toward him.

“Why?” he asked, lowering his own.

He never heard her answer because their mouths met and for a long time he hardly remembered to breathe, let alone speak.

Their lips crushed against each other, tasting, touching with fervor, as if this could be the last time they kissed. Of course, with the case escalating and nearing its end, it might be. The thought drove him to deepen the kiss, until she whimpered against his mouth in a wordless plea for more.

Her fingers trailed up and down the path of his spine to awaken the nerves there until his entire body tingled with desire. He’d never had such a powerful reaction to a woman’s touch.

Her elaborate gown bunched under his hands as he slid them down her sides to her waist and clutched her hips. Eagerly, she tilted them up, touching his pelvis and following his animal movements.

Somehow he guided them through the open door into his bedroom, moving back to the bed until her thighs knocked against the mattress edge. There he paused to look at her.

Her hair had fallen from the intricate pile on her head, loosening into curls that fell like fire around her shoulders and across her chest. With one trembling hand, Griffin caught a long strand, rubbing it between his fingers before grasping the nape of her neck and pulling her to him for another kiss.

Sighing against his lips, she began unbuttoning his shirt. Her fingertips brushed through the wiry hair on his chest and caused him to utter a low groan of pleasure.

Audrey’s eyes came up at the soft sound and she smiled. If she knew nothing else, Griffin wanted her. And she wanted him. Perhaps that wasn’t enough for a lifetime, but it was enough for this night.

Finally she got all the tiny buttons unfastened and slipped the shirt from his shoulders, allowing it to fall to the floor. Then she stared at him.

In the carriage when they’d made love before she hadn’t felt the full impact of his body. He was as beautiful as she’d always imagined. Like a Greek god, he was broad through the shoulders, his muscles toned beneath her fingertips as she drug them down the length of his chest, stopping just short of where his wiry chest hair disappeared into his trousers.

Catching her hand in his, Griffin lifted it to his lips and placed a warm kiss inside her wrist. Before she had time to react, he wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his lips down to hers again. His mouth teased her, tempting her to melt against him as he drug his lips down to her throat.

Meanwhile, he pushed her dress up further and further, past her calves and up around her hips as his hands smoothed along her stockings, dipping in to grip the back of her knees and caress the smooth skin on her thighs.

Though she should have felt exposed and shy, she didn’t. In fact, she felt more alive than she had in a long time. All her fears about the mission and Douglas Ellison melted away as she arched against Griffin’s chest and surrendered to his desires.

He lowered her to the mattress, supporting her with one hand as he wrapped one of her long legs around his back with the other. She could feel the hard thrust of his erection even through the confining layers of cloth that separating them. She sighed with anticipation as she shifted closer. In just one day she’d gone from a shy virgin to a wanton who practically begged this man to thrust inside of her.

He seemed to understand her silent plea, for he began working at her clothing in earnest, unclipping her stockings and peeling them off one by one, then wrenching the buttons on her dress open. The silken gown slid off easily, followed by the rest of her under things.

Unlike the first time, now she was completely naked before him. In the carriage she’d been mostly clothed as they groped and tore their way through their first time making love. But now the pace was much slower and conventional.

She was surprised she wasn’t embarrassed to feel his eyes roving over her from her head to her toes. In fact, she welcomed the gaze, reveling in the fact that he stood motionless, reverent before dropping to his knees beside her on the mattress.

Silent only because he could find no words to describe the emotions pouring through him, Griffin reached out to touch her. His fingertips glided across the delicate curve of her collarbone, and into the valley between her breasts. Perfect breasts in his mind, just the right size to fill his hands.

He cupped each one in his palms and smiled when Audrey gasped with surprise, then arched up against him. Her nipples were already hard, but he bent to take one into his mouth regardless. He’d not had the time to explore her body fully the day before, but tonight he had all the time in the world and intended to take it.

He swirled his tongue around the sensitive skin of her areola, then suckled the hard bead at the tip of her breast. It hardened even further as she moaned and writhed beneath him. He moved to the other breast and sucked until she groaned, “Please. Please.”

He understood what she needed, and pulled away for the brief moment it took to remove his trousers, then laid back down. This time, he spread her legs to lie between them, nudging the damp slit between her legs with the tip of his manhood as he kissed her deeply. When they broke the kiss, he slid fully into her.

She braced for the shot of pain she’d experienced the previous day, but when none came she looked up at him in wonder and pleasure.

“It only hurts the first time,” he whispered with a smile, before beginning to move slowly within her.

His body screamed at him to go faster, harder, but he ignored its needs, concentrating instead on the reactions she gave. When she came close to the brink, he eased his movements, hoping to prolong her enjoyment as much as possible. Finally, she shut her eyes and bit her lip with a groan of pleasure, contracting under him as she shivered with the force of her release. He followed close behind, grasping her closer as he cried out her name, then withdrew to spend himself on the sheets beside her.

Flopping down on the bed, Griffin gathered her into his arms and kissed her forehead while he took deep breaths. In his entire life, he’d never felt as fulfilled after lovemaking as he did at that moment.

“That was lovely.” Stretching her arm over his chest, she gave a contented sigh. “Much easier on a bed.”

Griffin laughed. “Well, adventure is all well and good, but there is something to be said for a soft bed.”

“Yes.” Her voice became distant. “I’m beginning to appreciate that more and more.”

Arching an eyebrow, Griffin shifted to look her directly in the face and saw a trace of sadness in her eyes. The look troubled him.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No!” She glanced up at him with a shake of her head. “Far from it. I thought I made that abundantly clear.”

He smiled, but said, “You looked… sad somehow.”

“Oh.”

Pulling from his arms, Audrey sat up and looked around the room, refusing to meet his eyes when she spoke again. “I hate having to go back to reality now that I’ve been in this dream world, that’s all.”

Standing, she groped around on the ground until she found her chemise. Griffin watched as she slipped it over her head, loving the way the fabric moved over her skin.

As she went to work on her stockings, he said, “Then don’t go back. Stay here with me tonight.”

Her eyes flew to his face at his request, surprise evident by the way her lips parted. “You know I can’t do that.”

Standing, he walked over to her, not bothering to cover himself as she’d done. He liked how her eyes dilated with desire, moving over his body in one swift motion before she forced them back to his face.

“Why?” he whispered. “Just don’t go.”

She frowned. “I must. My brother will return soon. We wouldn’t want him to find us this way, would we?”

He shrugged one shoulder as he watched her hook her stocking with one hand. “I don’t care.”

With a bark of disbelieving laughter, she straightened back up. “You will after my brother pistol whips you. When he calls you out and makes you…”

She trailed off and a blush colored her cheeks as she turned away to find her dress.

“Makes me what?” Griffin asked softly, turning her around to fasten the buttons of the gown.

She pulled away from him as soon as her gown was closed and ran her fingers through her tangled hair with a distracted sigh. “Never mind.”

Griffin knew full well what she meant was that Noah would force him to marry Audrey. After all, he’d made love to her not once, but twice. The honorable thing to do would be to make her his wife. It wasn’t the first time the notion had sprung into his mind, and each time it seemed like the best course of action. Certainly better than letting her slip from his life into the night.

His heart had begun to beat faster somewhere between the time he’d gotten up from the bed and now, and all he could hear was the blood rushing in his veins. It had been a long time since he’d been so out of sorts, but he steeled himself to his task as he yanked his trousers over his hips and buttoned the first two buttons.

“There’s something important we must discuss,” he said, clearing his throat. “About what happened tonight.”

With a sigh, she paced away from the bed, throwing one last glance at the tangled mess of his bedclothes before hurrying back into the relative safety of his dressing room.

“About what happened at the ball?” she asked, though he knew she was only trying to avoid the subject. “I realize you must be very angry. And your parents are in danger, so you must be worried, as well. But I assure you-”

“No,” he interrupted.

He followed her into the sitting room and neatly cut off her retreat by stepping in front of her to block the door. “You know very well that wasn’t it at all. This isn’t about anyone but you and me.”

“Oh.” Her answer came out as no more than a squeak. Her eyes were lit up with anticipation, as well as remnants of desire.

“All I could think about last night and today was what happened between us yesterday afternoon.” Reaching out, he took her hand. “What I knew would happen again tonight.”

“It’s been on my mind, as well.” Her cheeks became a charming shade of pale pink at her confession.

“But…” He drew in a deep breath before continuing. “I shouldn’t have let things go so far between us.”

Her eyes flew to his face once more as her skin darkened further. “Oh.”

“But I did, and now I must do what’s right.”

He cleared his throat a second time. Somehow this entire undertaking was proving more difficult than he’d imagined it would be. Especially when Audrey looked at him with hurt in her eyes.

“You don’t have to make anything right,” she said. “I’m an adult and I made a choice. If there are consequences of that action, I must be the one to deal with them. I certainly don’t need anyone to save me from my own decisions.”

He frowned at the way she held herself, on guard and ready for attack.

“I was the more experienced between the two of us,” he reasoned. “I should have maintained control. Lord knows I tried to…”

A small smile turned up one corner of her lips. “It wasn’t as if I was entirely swept away. I knew what I was doing.”

Again, he frowned. He hadn’t expected her to reason with him, though perhaps he should have. If Audrey could do one thing, it was reason her way into and out of any situation.

Ignoring her statement, he said, “We know we’re compatible in many ways. I respect your intelligence and wit. We have a friendship I value immensely. All these things can make a marriage a great success.”

Her lips parted further and her eyes widened.

“I realize this is sudden,” he hastened to add. “But it is what I must do to make up for my… lapse in gentlemanly behavior.”

For a long moment, she said nothing and stared down at her trembling fingers as she twisted her wrinkled skirt in her hand. “Is that all?”

“What?”

“Are you through?” she repeated without lifting her eyes.

“Yes.” He paused. “You realize I’m asking you to be my wife, don’t you?”

“I’m aware of that fact.” She turned to pace away from him to his window. Her shoulders trembled as she looked down at the street below, silent again for a long time.

Finally, she turned to face him with ashen skin. “No.”

As he drew back, shock raced through him. “No?”

“I won’t marry you.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m saying it myself.”

His pride stung. “Then why are you?”

Pursing her lips, she said, “I will not marry for anything less than love. And I don’t mean love from one person alone. Both the parties must feel the same level of regard for one another.”

Griffin laughed bitterly. “That fantasy doesn’t exist. One person always feels more emotion than the other. We have friendship, esteem and passion. That’s more than most in the ton.”

“It isn’t enough for me, Griffin,” she whispered. “So the answer is no.”

Faint anger stirred in his chest at her utter refusal, even in the face of his reasoning. “I can force your hand, you know. I can make sure Noah finds out what happened between us in the carriage and tonight. After he beats me within an inch of my life, he’ll force a union between us.”

At that, her face paled until it was nearly ghostly white, but her hands clenched into trembling fists. “My Mother and Father tried to compel me into a marriage once. I ran. Force my hand, and I’ll do the same now.”

For the first time, Griffin realized just how serious she was. Audrey wasn’t playing coy or blurting out an answer without thought. Whether or not her ideas were valid, she was ready to bolt if he tried to make her follow his order.

As her face began to regain some of its color, she spoke again. This time her tone was much gentler.

“Passion will fade, and we’ll be left with what? A nice friendship? Cordial strangers who share a name?” She shrugged. “I don’t want a man who still loves and mourns his first wife.”

This time it was Griffin’s turn to stiffen in reaction to her words. The reminder of Luci made his blood chill and his head begin to throb. There it was, one more thing his former wife could take from him. Had taken from him for years.

Audrey.

Choking out a laugh, he said, “Mourn for Luci? I can barely keep myself from cursing her to everyone who offers me condolences.”

Drawing in a sharp breath at Griffin’s sudden outburst, Audrey stumbled away from him.

And Griffin realized the time had come to finally tell her the truth. Even if it changed the way she felt about him forever.