The Secrets of a Lady

Chapter Five

Audrey peered out the carriage window to watch the sparkling lights of townhouses and small city estates pass by. Despite the late hour, many of the occupants of the stylish homes were still awake. Some were hosting balls, others arriving home from the opera she and her party had attended. Still others were plotting the assassination of the Prince Regent.

With a shiver, she glanced at Ellison. How she loathed being alone with him, pretending to care for him. But there was little choice. This was her duty, no matter how she… or Griffin… felt about it.

Ellison leaned closer to peek over her shoulder. The slight gesture was an invasion of her already compromised personal space.

“What do you find outside that intrigues you so much, my dear?”

“I was just thinking about the opera tonight,” she lied with a practiced smile. “What a treat to see both the Prince and Princess there.”

Ellison pulled away, and she took the opportunity to breathe again.

“Yes, His Royal Highness looked high and mighty as ever.” Ellison shook his head.

Batting her eyes as if she didn’t hear the venom dripping from his voice, she said, “Well, he is the next King of England.”

“Perhaps,” he answered with a thin smile. After a pause, he continued, “Did you see the expression on his face when he realized the crowd was applauding for her and not for him?”

Audrey took in a shallow breath as she glanced at Hannah. The other woman pretended to be staring out her window in disinterest, but Audrey could tell by the sparkle in her green eyes that she was digesting every word of the conversation for analysis later. Once more Audrey counted herself lucky that Hannah was her protector and partner.

“They both certainly looked nice in their finery,” she said, returning to her game of silly miss.

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “No one was as beautiful as you were tonight, Audrey.”

With a sly look in Hannah’s direction, he moved closer. His body heat was stifling in the close confines of the carriage. Audrey swallowed hard.

Ellison continued, “I must admit I missed your company in the weeks we were apart. I’m very glad you decided to come to London. Though I do wish you had agreed to stay in my home… with your brother as escort, of course.”

Her breath hitched in her throat, but Audrey managed to answer, “Viscount Berenger is an old friend of Noah’s. With all his recent tragedy, my brother thought it would be best if we remain with him.”

“Yes, Berenger.” Ellison sniffed with disgust. “Never cared for the man. Anyone with as much power as his title and family name afford him should take advantage of it, not hide away like Berenger does. It is a waste of money and power.”

Audrey smiled for the sake of her act, but she had to bite her tongue. Ellison’s contempt for Griffin brought out an odd protectiveness in her.

“Even if we aren’t staying with you, I’m glad we’re so close. We’re certain to see a great deal more of you since we’re neighbors,” she said, barely maintaining the silly exterior she put on for her prey.

Douglas focused on her and Audrey suddenly wondered if she had miscalculated by agreeing to be alone with him. He seemed like he wanted devour her right there. If Hannah hadn’t been sitting by, watching vigilantly, Audrey had no doubt he would do just that.

“Truly?” he murmured and inched even closer.

To her relief, the carriage pulled to a smooth stop in front of Griffin’s door and she heard the footman climb down. When the door swung open, Douglas reached across, blocking her exit.

He half-turned to Hannah and snapped, “You may go.”

Her friend’s concern was plain, but no matter her misgivings, Audrey had to stay. Ellison was offering her an opportunity to gain his confidence, no matter how unpleasant the prospect was. This one small sacrifice could eventually result in the key to solving their case.

Her hands shaking, Audrey nodded to her maid. “You may step out, Hannah. I will be right behind you.”

With a scowl, Hannah did as she was asked. The door shut behind her and Audrey caught her breath again as Ellison turned his attention back to her. She tried to slide away, though her position next to the carriage wall didn’t offer her much maneuvering room.

“Mr. Ellison, I must tell you how entirely inappropriate this situation is. I shouldn’t be unattended with you. Being with my maid alone is questionable enough.”

She hoped her tone was sharp and disapproving. She couldn’t be quite sure over the rush of blood in her ears.

Douglas smiled as he took her hand without bothering to ask her leave and pressed it against his lips. The damp of his mouth seeped through her thin glove.

“Audrey, you must know how deeply I’m beginning to care for you. I would like to kiss you.”

Suddenly she felt very dizzy. The situation was spiraling out of hand with no real end in sight unless she chose to break her cover. “N-No, I don’t think that would be wise…”

Before she could finish, Ellison gripped her upper arms and pulled her against his chest. His mouth came down on hers, hard and insistent against her lips. Audrey nearly gagged and by sheer will alone managed not to pull away, though she refused to return his kiss. She had to play the shocked innocent, but not let him know his touch made her physically ill.

Finally he pulled back. “That wasn’t so horrible, was it?”

She put a mask of shock on her features.

“Of all the gall!” she burst out, mimicking the outrage she’d seen displayed so often in the women of the ton. It was often the perfect combination of flirtation and indignation. “Good evening, Mr. Ellison!”

With that, she shoved passed him and wrenched the carriage door open. Grasping at the footman’s arm blindly, she found her feet firmly on the ground again and Hannah beside her.

Ellison opened the carriage window and leaned out. “Good evening, Audrey.”

He grinned as the coach began toward his house next door and left the two women standing in Griffin’s drive.

Hannah took her arm to guide her toward the house. “Why do you look so pale?”

Audrey couldn’t move fast enough. Suddenly she wanted to be inside the house. To be safe and protected by her brother. By Griffin. She stumbled on the bottom step, but caught herself and kept moving.

“What is it?” Hannah repeated as they came through the door.

Audrey wiped her mouth with the back of her glove and ground out, “He kissed me.”

Hannah drew back in surprise and her face paled a shade. “He kissed you? I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone with that man!”

“Shh, keep your voice down!” Audrey ordered. Her words sounded shrill in the echoing foyer. “Do you want everyone to-?”

The door to the parlor flew open and Griffin appeared. He seemed bigger than she remembered, his broad shoulders filling the narrow door. He grasped the doorjamb with white-knuckled fingers.

“You allowed him to put his hands on you?” he asked, his tone low and angry.

“Oh, saints preserve us,” Audrey muttered under her breath as even more blood drained from her face. “Why do we have to do this tonight?”

Griffin glared at her. “Go upstairs, Hannah.”

Hannah shook her head firmly.

“Oh no, sir. I fell for that trick once tonight. I won’t leave her with you. Not when you’re so angry you look like you could break the wall with your fist.” The Cockney accent Hannah had worked so hard to get rid of edged each word.

Audrey finally dared to look at Griffin. He did look like he could explode with fury, yet she felt no fear being in his company. If she knew one thing for certain, he would never hurt her. At least, not physically. No, it was the emotional turmoil she feared most.

And yet she couldn’t deny what a draw he remained to her.

“Hannah,” she whispered. “You may leave us. I’ll be safe with Griffin.”

Hannah turned to her. “Audrey…”

With a nod she hoped would reassure her friend, Audrey whispered, “Please.”

Hannah hesitated, but with a glower for Griffin, finally turned to climb up the stairs.

“What were you-” he began.

“Shh.” Audrey put a finger to her lips. “If I must discuss this with you, let’s at least go into the parlor. There’s no need to share our argument with the entire household.”

With an unreadable expression, Griffin stepped aside and motioned for her to enter the room behind him. She felt his body heat at her back as he closed the door. He passed by her to lean on the mantel then stared at her expectantly. Like a predator stalking his prey, waiting for the moment to pounce.

And yet, that thought didn’t frighten her. In fact, she had to admit that, as she lost herself in his eyes, she actually looked forward to this brief stolen moment in time. No matter the consequences.

***

How he managed to keep his emotions in check, Griffin didn’t know. As he clutched the mantel, he watched Audrey walk over to a chair by the fire and sink down as if she were exhausted. For a brief moment, his anger faded and he felt a strange longing to take her into his arms and comfort her. Then he thought of Douglas Ellison putting his mouth on hers and his anger returned with a vengeance.

“How could you allow that man touch you?” he choked out.

Audrey responded by raising her still-gloved hands to her eyes. When she dropped them, she didn’t answer his question, but slowly began peeling the sheaths from her hands.

At the seemingly simple gesture, Griffin felt himself slipping under a seductive spell. One by one, she freed her fingers, then slid the glove from her hand to place it on the table beside her before repeating the action with the other.

“Fix me a drink,” she ordered softly as she focused her attention away from him toward the fire.

Swallowing, Griffin did as he was told, happy for the chance to turn away from her before her unexpected effect over him became more than apparent.

Crossing over to the bar, he stared at the line of decanters. The last time Audrey had had a drink in his presence, he’d tasted the scotch on her lips. With a smile, he poured her a tumbler of his best. It wasn’t a lady’s drink, but he wondered if she would remember its significance.

Taking the glass he offered, she sipped it, then her midnight gaze flashed up to meet his briefly. She did remember.

“This is my job, Griffin,” she whispered, her voice husky and broken as she dipped her head and broke their heated stare.

Shaking off the desire she ignited in him, Griffin frowned. “To trade your body for his secrets?”

She sucked in a sharp breath of air through her teeth. Without looking at him, she shrugged one shoulder. “Not to the very end. Just to a point.”

“Well, if it’s just to a point, that makes it all different, doesn’t it?”

Clenching his fist, Griffin stalked away, his heart racing with powerful anger and disappointment. It was obvious she took no pleasure in this part of her affiliation with the War Department, but still, she did it.

The sound of her slamming her drink down on the table beside her made him turn. To his surprise, she was on her feet.

“Do you think I enjoy this?” She swallowed hard before continuing. “Do you think I like having that blackguard’s sticky hands on me or his disgusting taste on my lips?” She wiped her mouth to accentuate her words. “Why do you think I wanted a drink?”

Griffin froze, his gaze inexplicably drawn to her mouth. Her lips were full and pale pink, swollen from the way she’d been chewing on them in the past hour. They looked sweet. Irresistible.

“You wish to remove his taste from your lips?” he asked softly.

With a sigh that shuddered through her body, Audrey nodded.

“Yes.” Her voice was much softer when she repeated it. “Yes.”

Taking a few long strides across the room, he found himself directly in front of her. Her proximity warmed him as the lilac smell of her skin flared his nostrils. Slowly he slid his finger beneath her chin to lift her face toward his. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears in the glow of the lamplight.

“I’ve a better way to erase his taste.”

It seemed like it took an age from the time he lowered his head to the moment his lips touched hers, but it was worth the wait. Her mouth was soft, softer than he’d remembered.

With a sigh of acquiescence, she leaned into him. He took her invitation by clasping her waist and drawing her even closer. She let out a little gasp when her breasts flattened against his chest, and he took the opportunity to gently probe her parted lips with the tip of his tongue.

Instantly she pulled back, her breath coming in short, bated gasps and her eyes dilated as she lifted them to meet his.

“Why did you…?” she trailed off and the uncertainty in her gaze was clear. Then she shook it away and leaned closer. “Never mind, I don’t want to know why.”

Pulling her back up against him, he kissed her again. This time it took no teasing for her to accept him. He reveled in her taste, the sweetness of her mixed with the bitter sharpness of the scotch. The kiss deepened until he could no longer determine where she ended and he began.

Finally, with a strangled groan, he pulled back. He had to or else he would do more than taste her lips.

“I have wanted to do that for five years,” he admitted.

Her lips parted in surprise.

“Wh-what did you say?”

In an attempt to control his wild emotions, he looked away. “I think you heard me.”

Crossing the room, he downed his own drink in one swig. Blood raced hot in his veins and the evidence of her power over his body grew. He swelled against the barrier of his trousers after just her kiss.

“Yes, I did hear you,” she muttered. “Excuse me.”

Her shoulders shaking, Audrey hurried from the room. Griffin heard her footsteps fleeing up the stairs and down the hallway.

With a low curse, he shook his head. For all his promises to only be a friend to Audrey Jordan, he’d certainly crossed a line tonight. Now he was certain to pay the cost of his foolhardy actions.

***

Audrey hurried into her room and slammed the door behind her. It seemed an impossible task to draw air in to her aching lungs, no matter how she gasped and heaved.

Griffin Berenger had just kissed her. It was as if he had reached into her soul and drawn out in complete detail a scene from her girlish longings. Even more disconcerting was her response. She’d worked so hard to gain some level of control over her wild heart, but now she was spinning like she was a lovelorn girl again.

The door to the small room off her bedchamber opened and Hannah stepped inside.

“I don’t know where your head was tonight,” the older woman said, crossing the room where Audrey knew she’d begin taking down her hair and helping her out of her gown.

“Oh please, Hannah. I can’t bear this now!” she interrupted. She pushed past her friend to sit down on the bed. “I’ll undress myself tonight. Just leave me alone, I beg of you.”

Audrey winced. Her harsh tone would do nothing to reduce Hannah’s suspicions or concerns.

“What did Griffin Berenger do to you, love?” Hannah whispered, reaching out to slide her hand down Audrey’s arm.

“He-Nothing Hannah,” she denied with a blush.

Perhaps if she didn’t speak the words out loud they could remain her little secret. Once she talked about it, the dream-like quality of the kiss would fade and she would have to face reality again.

“Just let me be by myself right now,” she whispered.

A look that would have frightened the most hardened of criminals leapt to Hannah’s normally sweet face. “If he did anything to you, I swear-”

“No!” Audrey leapt to her feet and shook her head. “I liked it.”

Hannah’s cocked her head as if to ask Audrey to elaborate.

“He kissed me. Griffin kissed me, Hannah and I-” a small sob caught in her throat. “-I liked it.”

Hannah sat down with a thump in Audrey’s dressing table chair. “I knew from the moment I saw that man that he wanted you. I knew it.”

Audrey let out a strangled groan. That couldn’t be true. Griffin Berenger want her? Impossible! She’d spent years reminding herself of that cold, bitter fact. She’d shed too many tears over his lack of feeling toward her. And now that notion that had driven her away from England and into a life of secrets was crumbling around her.

“He did say he’d wanted to kiss me for five years,” she murmured, more to herself than to Hannah as she touched her mouth. Her lips felt hot and swollen, aching to continue the soft torment Griffin had begun.

Hannah made a sound in the back of her throat that brought Audrey back to reality.

“Well, where does this leave us then?” her friend asked. “Because it’s obvious you have feelings for the man, despite all your attempts to convince me, your brother and perhaps even yourself otherwise.”

Audrey sank back down on the mattress. “Nothing has changed. Nothing.”

“Ha!” Hannah barked out, pacing over to the bay window to lean against the glass while she stared at Audrey with an appraising glance. “What has all the moping and upset over the past five years been about then?”

Taking a deep breath, Audrey contemplated that question. At first she’d allowed herself to mourn the loss of her dreams about a future with Griffin. Then her life in the War Department had begun and she’d been able to forget that crush — sometimes. She always told herself her feelings for Griffin had been nothing more than a girlish tendre.

But in the parlor not half an hour before, her body had roared to life and her heart had lodged in her throat from the moment Griffin asked her to be alone with him.

With hot tears stinging her eyes, Audrey whispered, “I suppose I did a very good job convincing myself I didn’t really love him. But-but I still do.”

With a grin, Hannah burst out, “Hallelujah! She finally admits it!”

“What?”

Audrey had no idea why admitting she still loved Griffin would bring her friend so much pleasure. That fact could only put all of them in danger and bring her heartache.

Hannah’s expression softened. “Oh Audrey, don’t you think I’ve known that from the first moment I met you? You were just a girl then, with little experience and no confidence. But when you talked to me about the man you’d loved and lost, I could see that love was real. All your denials and explanations were meaningless.”

“I never knew my heart was so plain,” Audrey said with a shake of her head. “But this is nothing to celebrate. Loving Griffin will only make things more complicated. I must continue to pretend I care for Douglas Ellison. Even if I didn’t have duty to consider, Griffin has never returned my feelings. There was desire in his touch tonight… but I can’t believe there would suddenly be more.”

Hannah let out a groan. “I told your brother this plan was a mistake.”

Audrey had all but forgotten her brother. “Oh God, Noah. If he finds out, he’ll kill Griffin!”

As if on cue, a soft knock sounded at her door.

“Audrey?” Noah whispered from outside. “It’s me, let me in.”

Twisting the fabric of her skirt into her hand, Audrey checked herself in the mirror. The last thing she wanted was for her brother to notice how disheveled she looked. That would only make him push and nag until he wrung her secrets from her.

“Hurry up, Audrey!” he murmured impatiently.

“I’m coming,” she snapped back, throwing Hannah a warning frown before opening the door.

Noah breezed in with grin for her before he plopped down in her dressing table chair. She took one near the window and hoped for the best.

“Still in your full opera regalia, little sister? I would have thought you’d gotten more comfortable at least half an hour ago,” he said as he fiddled with the objects on her dressing table.

“I–I was waylaid,” she murmured with another glance toward Hannah. Her friend had folded her arms and was staring at her expectantly.

Noah put down the tiny bottle of cologne in his hand and leaned forward to look at her closer.

“Have you been… have you been crying, Audrey?” He rose to his feet in alarm.

The tears she’d been holding back began to flow again and contradicted her denial.

“Is it because he kissed you? I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone with him.” Noah ran a hand through his dark hair. “Bastard.”

Audrey’s heart lurched into her throat as her gaze flew from Noah to Hannah then back again. How did her brother already know about Griffin?

“No, Noah!” Audrey rose to her feet with shaking knees.

“Audrey!” Hannah snapped, but she ignored her friend.

“Don’t blame him,” she continued.

“Audrey,” Hannah repeated as she stepped forward.

Audrey shook her head. If Noah already knew about her moment in the sitting room with Griffin then she would take responsibility. She didn’t need Hannah’s protection.

“I kissed him back. I know I’m an idiot, but I liked kissing him, Noah.”

“Oh, Audrey,” Hannah said softly as she sank back down on the bed and covered her eyes.

Her brother looked at her with confusion and disgust. “You liked kissing Ellison?”

Audrey froze. This was what Hannah had been trying to tell her. Noah knew about her kiss with Ellison, probably from Hannah’s report just after their arrival… not Griffin.

“Douglas?” she whispered, wiping away tears. “I…”

“No,” Noah snarled, his gaze clearing with recognition. “Hannah said you were talking with Griffin. You kissed Griffin?”

Spinning on his heel, her brother strode over to the door, nearly ripping it from the hinges. Audrey caught up with him at a run and grasped him by the arm with both hands.

“Stop, Noah!” she pleaded, kicking the door shut and shaking him. “He’s your friend! Why is it you’re more angry at your friend for kissing me than some traitor?”

Noah’s answer was instant and heated, “Because you once loved, and judging from your face, still love my friend. I saw how deeply you were hurt by those feelings five years ago and by everything Luci did to you afterward.”

“What Luci did wasn’t his fault!” she insisted. “Good God, he doesn’t even know about all that!”

Releasing his arm, she crossed over to the bed and leaned her forehead against the bedpost.

“Noah?” she whispered.

“Yes?” His voice just as soft. All the heat and anger was gone from his demeanor.

“Do you think I trade my body for secrets?”

When Griffin made that angry accusation in the drawing room, it had hurt her, for it was often what she feared she did.

“No!” Noah caught her in his arms to hug her tightly. “No. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that. You’re a good and decent woman. I’ve seen you hold up in the worst of circumstances. You should never walk with your head down in shame for what you’ve done for your country, Audrey.”

With a small squeeze, she stepped from his embrace. “Thank you. You’re a good brother.”

Noah smiled at her. “Goodnight, Audrey.”

“Goodnight,” she said, watching him go back to the door and open it. “Oh, and Noah?”

“Yes?”

“Go to bed. Don’t start a fight with Griffin tonight.” She stared at him evenly. “Please, for me.”

Noah seemed to contemplate her request before he nodded. “For you, Audrey. But don’t believe for a moment that I’ll forget. I owe my friend a very serious conversation. Very serious, indeed.”