The Upside of Unrequited

28

REID COMES OVER ON WEDNESDAY to help me test my cake recipe.

And I guess I can’t really put it off any longer: I have to ask him to be my date this Sunday. But in a totally no-pressure kind of way. Because this doesn’t have to be a Thing. It’s just a date. To a wedding. In which the brides are my parents. ALL RIGHT? NO BIG DEAL.

“Okay, it’s ten thirty now.” He leans back against the fridge. “And I’m supposed to be at work by noon. So, don’t let me—oof.”

I kiss him so hard, it sets off the ice machine.

“Oh,” I say, and he laughs, hands catching me around the waist. This is still the strangest thing. Strange that I’m doing this. Strange that I survived not doing this. I don’t know how I ever went five minutes without kissing, much less thirty-two thousand minutes.

But I like the way Reid kisses with his glasses on. I like the way my brain feels hazy. We probably shouldn’t be doing this in the kitchen, especially because Cassie’s home. She could walk in at any minute. Which is horrifying. Because I suddenly understand why Cassie got so mysterious about Mina. I can’t explain it, but I get it.

I kiss Reid again. Maybe if we keep kissing, I won’t have to ask him to the wedding. He’ll just know. He’s probably expecting it anyway. Unless he’s not. Unless he’s thinking: whoa, I hooked up with this girl last week, and now she wants to bring me to her parents’ wedding.

HEY, LIFE: STOP BEING SO AWKWARD.

Reid pauses. “What was that beep?”

“Oh! The oven’s done preheating.” I exhale. I make myself step back.

I am baking. I am baking a tiny cake and a bunch of cupcakes, and I should probably think about mixing the batter. At some point. Eventually.

He kisses me again, softly.

“Molly?”

And oh.

It’s Olivia, wide-eyed in the doorway.

I whirl around, brightly. “Hi!” My hand slides back, and an entire collection of dry measuring cups clatters to the ground.

It is a very loud clatter.

Because it is very silent in here.

“Oh,” she says. “I don’t mean to interrupt.”

“You’re not interrupting!” I grin. I’m totally grinning. If I grin hard enough, I’ll probably look super casual and she’ll know there’s nothing suspicious going on here. She didn’t actually see anything. She probably just imagined it, because I am SO CHILL AND CASUAL RIGHT NOW.

She stares at the ground. “Okay, well, Cass and I are going through some of your family photos to put on display. Just in case you wanted to, you know . . . but I guess you’re busy.”

“Oh, yeah. We’re baking!”

“I can see that.”

My entire face is burning. I didn’t even know Olivia was here, much less in the doorway.

“So, uh. If you guys want to do photos, we’ll just be in the dining room,” she adds.

“Okay, great,” I say quickly.

Her eyes flick up to Reid and back down to me.

“Great, well . . .”

She’s gone before I even say good-bye.

I feel entirely unsettled. I head to the dining room as soon as Reid leaves, but all I find are a bunch of photographs. Cassie and Olivia are nowhere.

I don’t want to freak out about this, but here’s the thing: even if Reid isn’t into Olivia, I have no idea how Olivia feels about Reid. I guess I’m feeling very tender toward her all of a sudden. Even though a week ago I was dreaming about throwing things at her face.

A-week-ago Molly was kind of a shitty person.

I have to make this right. I take a deep breath and text her. Hey, are you still here?

Nothing. Nothing.

And then three dots.

Hey! In Xav’s room with C. You guys should come up here.

God, she thinks Reid is with me. That I would do that. That I would flaunt him like that. Heeeeeyyy, Olivia, guess what. HE’S MINE HE’S MINE HE’S MINE.

The thought alone makes me wince. I don’t think I’m a HE’S MINE kind of girl.

I take the stairs slowly, my heart in my throat.

Xavier’s room is the size of a walk-in closet. Seriously, my moms got him one of those train track area rugs from Ikea, and it covers his entire floor. When I open the door, Olivia and Xavier are building a tower out of blocks. Except that’s entirely inaccurate. Olivia is building a tower. Xavier is destroying a tower.

“Hey,” I say, scooping him into my lap. He wriggles out of my arms immediately. “I’m really sorry I missed the photos.”

“It’s cool. I hear you were busy.” Cassie waggles her eyebrows, and Olivia snickers. They are the worst. Both of them.

I grin into my fist and settle in next to Cassie, our backs against the crib.

She leans toward me. “So, Reid’s coming to the wedding, right?”

“Um. Hopefully? I haven’t asked him yet.”

I glance at Olivia, who looks as serene as ever.

“Well, you better fucking get on that,” Cassie says. “And tell him I have to talk to him.”

I narrow my eyes. “About what?”

“About how if he breaks your heart, I’ll castrate him. Just your basic protective sister shit.” She stands up, stretching. “Hold that thought. I’ve got to pee.”

She shuts the door behind her. Olivia smiles up at me. “Molly, you have a boyfriend.”

I need to not smile. This is not a moment for smiling. This is a moment for being as little of an asshole as humanly possible. This girl just got dumped by the likes of Evan Schulmeister. And now the guy she maybe likes is my boyfriend. I nod, carefully, staring at my knees.

“I so called that.”

“You did?” I look up at her tentatively. “Are you mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“Oh. God. I thought maybe you liked him.”

There’s a sudden crash as Xavier topples a block tower. He looks from me to Olivia and back to me, lip trembling.

“Buddy, you’re the one who knocked it down,” I remind him. Sometimes you can trick Xav into not having a meltdown. But he collapses into Olivia’s arms.

“Oh, I don’t,” Olivia says. “I mean, I like him as a friend, definitely, and I think he’s cute. Like, he’s really cute.”

“That is true.” I bite back a smile.

“Definitely cuter than Will, in my opinion.” She blushes.

Oh God. She likes him.

“I’m really sorry,” I say quietly.

“You shouldn’t be! Please don’t be sorry. Anyway, I already knew he was in love with you.”

“What?” I stop short.

“Every time I’ve hung out with him, all he did was talk about you.”

I grin into the sleeve of my cardigan. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” She smiles. “Seriously, I don’t want to get in the way of that.” She squeezes Xavier’s foot. “I really want this for you, Molly.”

I think my brain has shut down. I can’t think of a single thing to say. All I know is this: Olivia is definitely a better person than me.

“Yeah, but I want you to be happy, too,” I say finally.

She shrugs. “I am.”

“But I want you to be in love. With someone better than Evan.”

“Anyone’s better than Evan,” she says.

“Good point.”

And now I’m furiously matchmaking in my head. Obviously, Will’s off the table, since Olivia doesn’t even see his cuteness. And Max is kind of an asshole. But I’m curious about Douglas. Reid swears he exists. Olivia and the elusive Douglas. I know Reid ships it.

“Have you—” I start to say, but Olivia cuts me off.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Olivia rests her chin on Xavier’s head. “But I don’t actually want a boyfriend right now.”

“Really?”

“Not even a little.” She smiles.

I turn it over in my head. I can’t decide if this is funny or sad, but I’ve spent so much time wanting a boyfriend that I can’t imagine not wanting one. I can imagine saying I don’t want one. But I can’t imagine it being true.

And maybe that’s just me, a little broken after twenty-six rounds of unrequited love. Maybe this is a side effect.