Thread of Hope

SEVENTY-SIX

“You’ve been here the entire time?” I asked.

She was on one end of the sofa and I was on the other. Megan sat cross-legged on the floor. They refused to turn on the lights and my eyes were adjusting to the darkness with the help of the nightlight.

As far as I could tell, Meredith appeared fine. She wore jeans and a sweatshirt and she seemed a little tired, a little pale, but otherwise fine. She was nervous and had pushed herself into the far corner of the sofa, as if she could shoot out her feet and kick at me if she needed to.

“Yeah,” she said, her voice ragged.

“Why?”

“Because I knew no one would look here,” she said.

“Kind of a big gamble,” I said. “This is your official address.”

“You didn’t look here,” Megan said.

Hard to argue with that.

“So why are you here, Meredith?” I asked.

“Because I didn’t know where else to go,” she said.

“You aren’t dumb,” I said. “So you must know that your parents are going out of their minds.”

“My parents? Or my dad?” she asked, a knowing smirk on her face. “You don’t even know my parents.”

“I know a lot more than you think I do,” I said.

She raised a cynical eyebrow. “Really?”

“Really.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “Why don’t you tell me what you know then?”

“You sure?” I asked. I glanced at Megan. “You care if she hears?”

The cynical eyebrow became an angry one. “Megan knows everything. And she is the only one I trust.”

Megan played with her shoelaces and remained silent.

I spent the next fifteen minutes laying out everything I had learned about her life over the previous three days, leaving out nothing. Chuck, the beating he took, the prostitution, her mother’s past, her boyfriend. I put it all on the table for her.

Meredith’s eyebrow went from angry and cynical to disbelieving, embarrassed and uncertain. By the time I finished, her hands were clasped together in her lap and she was staring at them.

Megan had not flinched so she apparently did know everything.

“That’s what I know,” I said. “But I need you to fill in the blanks. Why did you blame Chuck for beating you up?”

“He was an easy target,” Megan said.

“Megan, no offense, but shut up,” I said. “Thanks for bringing me here, but I want answers from Meredith. Not you.”

She went back to fiddling with her shoelaces.

“I knew people would take me seriously if I said it was him,” Meredith said. “Everyone knew we’d been spending time together, but he was new at school.” She paused and even in the dark, I could see tears in her eyes. “I felt horrible. I know that doesn’t make it better or right or whatever, but I felt horrible. But I didn’t have a choice.”

“You could’ve told the truth.”

She made a noise that was some combination of a laugh and a grunt. “Yeah, right. So easy to tell the truth.”

“It’s easier to ruin a coach you say you like?”

“I do like him,” she said, straining to keep her composure. “No one’s ever taken the time to help me like he did. No one.”

“But you did get angry with him when he gave you the ultimatum, right?” I pressed. “When he told you to get out of the hooking?”

“Yeah, but I was more relieved than anything,” she said. “He was giving me an out.”

“So what happened?”

“I got the shit kicked out of me,” she said, her voice full of anger and hurt. “I didn’t want him to tell my parents. I didn’t want to tell them, either, but I wasn’t going to make him do it for me.” An angry smile crept onto her face. “And part of me did kinda want to see my mother’s face when I told her.”

I didn’t respond.

“But when I tried to get out, I got the shit kicked out of me,” she said, the smile disappearing. “And I got scared.”

“Who beat you up?” I asked. “Was it Derek?”

She pressed herself further back in the sofa. “Derek thought he was controlling me, but he’s an idiot. I was never scared of him.”

“Derek said you wanted out.”

“I did. I wasn't sure I wanted to keep doing it. Yeah, the money was cool, but it was…I don't know. I thought I was just done.”

“But you didn't get out.”

She hesitated, then shook her head. “No. I didn't.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t tell you,” she said. “I can't tell you a lot of things.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t wanna die.”

It sounded melodramatic, but there was weight to her words. She believed what she was saying.

“I’m here to help you, Meredith,” I said. “I don’t think Megan would’ve brought me here if she didn’t think I was here to help you.”

But it was like a wall had come down. She wasn’t budging.

“So why did you come here?” I asked, trying to maintain some momentum in the conversation. “Why did you run away?”

“I needed to hide,” she finally said, wiping at her nose. “I was afraid.”

“You didn’t think your parents would be worried?” I asked. “Your friends?”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course I knew they’d be worried. And I’m sorry, okay? But I wasn’t sure what else to do.”

Again, it sounded overly dramatic, but there was sincerity in her words. I wasn’t sure if she was accurately describing her situation, but she believed what she was saying.

“Why did you get into this Meredith?” I asked, trying a different path. “Why the prostitution?”

She wiped at her nose, then her eyes and looked away. “I don’t know.”

“Bullshit,” I said. “This isn’t something you get into without knowing why. I don’t believe that for a second. Maybe it doesn’t feel now like you knew what you were doing. But you did.”

She sniffed and wiped harder at her eyes. “Because I was stupid then, I guess. I didn’t say out loud ‘I want to be a hooker,’ okay? I was mad at my mom, I needed money and I was stupid.”

“You aren't stupid and no one does this just for money.”

“Some people do.”

“Well, I don't believe for a second that was your reason. Had to be something else.”

She stared into her own lap, her hands clasped tightly together. “I was tired of being perfect.”

“What?”

“Everything I did, I was perfect,” she said, slowly. “Everything. School. Basketball. Everything. And I got sick of it. Because God knows if I wasn't perfect, I would've heard about it.”

I didn't say anything.

“So I decided to take the pressure off. Myself. Screw up badly enough and then I would't have to worry about being perfect. No one would expect a thing from me. For sure, not perfection.”

“And you thought this was the best way to do that?”

A sneer crossed her face. “Or maybe the apple just doesn't fall far from the tree…”

I thought that was closer to a more honest assessment, that all of this was somehow tied to her relationship with her own mother. It didn't make perfect sense, but you could draw a line from her actions to what she'd learned about Olivia.

“You weren't worried about putting yourself in danger?” I asked.

“No.” Meredith threw up her hands. “I don’t know anymore, okay. It all made sense then. It doesn’t now. I get it. And I didn’t think it would end up like this.” She closed her eyes and her body shook as she sobbed quietly.

I doubted there was anything she could say to me that would make me understand and forcing her to explain herself wasn’t my responsibility. That was something she would have to work out with her parents.

“I’ll ask one more time,” I said after a minute. “Will you tell me who beat you up? Tell me who you were freelancing for?”

“It’s okay, Meredith,” Megan said. “I think you can trust him.”

Meredith thought for a moment, then shook her head. “No. I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m afraid.”

I took a deep breath. “Okay. Then we’ve got two choices. I can take you to the police or I can take you to your dad. You don’t have to tell me, but you’ll have to tell one of them eventually. I will take you to either place you want to go and I will get you there safely. But you aren’t staying here. I’m sorry. I promised your father I would find you. I have. So those are your two options. The police or your father.”

She looked at her friend.

“He’s right, Meredith,” Megan said. “You can’t stay here. It’s not safe. You have to trust him. It’s why I brought him here. I know you told me not to bring anyone, but I believe him. He’ll keep you safe.”

Meredith was staring at her lap now. “Okay. I wanna go home.”

I stood before she could put up any more of a fight. “Let’s go then.”

When she stood from the sofa, she seemed smaller, younger than when I’d seen her on the basketball court. There was no confidence, no command, like it had been ripped out of her. I didn’t know what all she was hiding, but that didn’t prevent me from feeling sorry for her.

She walked over to the kitchen and grabbed her backpack from the counter. Megan went to her and put her arm around her.

“It’s alright,” Megan said, squeezing her around the shoulders. “It’ll be alright.”

“Anything else you need?” I asked.

Meredith shook her head and we headed for the front door, the two of them in front of me, Megan still with her arm around her friend.

Megan looked back at me. “We’ll go straight to her house, right?”

“Yes. I promise.”

Megan nodded and smiled at her friend. “Good.”

I reached around them and opened the door.

And ran right into some familiar faces.