To Be A Cat

Rissa Fairweather

‘MADE IT MYSELF,’ said Rissa, handing Barney a birthday card. ‘You know, gets a bit boring sometimes on the barge on a cloudy night.’

Oh, yes, dear readers. I should tell you – and I must break my promise and interrupt again (I’m not good with promises, they make me itchy) – that Barney’s best friend was a little bit unusual. She really did live on a barge. And she didn’t have a TV. She had a telescope instead, and spent most of her nights watching the sky, looking for star constellations (until he met Rissa, Barney thought Orion’s Belt was an item of clothing).

You might think that such a girl would get picked on at school. No TV. Strange hobby. Lives on a boat. Hair like a pirate. And at least a foot taller than any other person in her year.

But no.

Unlike Barney, for whom Gavin Needle and his friends made life a daily torment, Rissa was one hundred per cent bully-proof. Do you want to know her secret? She genuinely didn’t care what people said about her. In fact, she quite enjoyed it if people called her names. It made her feel shiny inside.

On her first day at Blandford she’d had a few people shout ‘Weirdo’ and ‘Barge girl’ in her direction, but that just made her smile. She always thought of something her mum said: ‘If people pick on you, they see something inside you that they are scared of. Something special, which they might not have, which shines out of you like a jewel.’

If anyone ever did pick on her, Rissa always imagined a shining emerald getting another polish. Or, if she was really bothered about something, she’d say the word ‘marmalade’ (her favourite food).

It might sound silly, but that’s what her dad had suggested, and it worked for her.

Anyway, I’m rambling.

You are wondering what all this has to do with magic cats, aren’t you? I can see it in your face.

Well, you’ll get to that in a minute. Or a hundred minutes. It depends how fast you read. But right now let’s go back to the tale and learn more about Barney’s totally terrible birthday at school. In fact, let’s grab a timetable. Hasta luego.