To Be A Cat

The Bit After the End in Which the Author Has to Have the Last Word

SO, THERE WE are. The happy ending. I love a happy ending. It makes me feel all warm and cosy inside. Like those hot-water bottles you get which have their own woolly covers. Especially when the happy ending is part of a true story.

And yes, this is a true story. The world is full of humans who used to be cats and cats who used to be humans. So, the next time you see a cat looking up at you with those pleading eyes and that strong purr, just remember – it might want to jump into your life, rather than jump onto your lap.

But don’t worry.

You’ll be fine. Look at you. You are brilliant. A human being with – AHEM – incredible taste in books. No wonder all those cats who have wanted to be you have failed. Every day that you wake up as yourself and see that genius in the mirror is another reason to stay happy.

Well done you! No, seriously, well done. Right, I’d better go as I’m a bit sleepy and fancy a nap by the radiator sleep in my bed.

Yours truly,

Cat Matt Haig