Women and Men

the departed tenant

It was a distance from her place, but he often walked home. The hours were insane to be leaving her. What did he think he was doing? Along the glowing, blank streets, where the cab at 3 a.m. or some face, above a wind-breaker, of a man going on early shift at five had less than nothing to do with him, he imagined he was married and bound home to his wife. He could imagine this because he had been married. Yet when he had been married, he hadn’t been unfaithful in this way. Unfaithful? But he wasn’t married now.

Sometimes he stayed overnight, but sometimes he didn’t. But he liked staying overnight with her, so that when he didn’t stay, it lingered, like a bad time. It wasn’t a bad time, but you might call it a bit dumb. But it was his life.

She didn’t much question these departures in the middle of the night, except to complain a little and maybe make a joke. Like did he have a paper route? Was he moonlighting as a milkman? There are no milkmen any more, he told her. Did he have another girlfriend, a daytime girlfriend he went home for? You’re my daytime girlfriend, he said. But that’s the point, she said— you’re not spending the night tonight. Oh, but I do, he said. Oh well, she said. Because it wasn’t worth arguing about.

She might switch on the little globe-shaped light beside the bed and get up and pull on her bathrobe and hug it around her while he put on his clothes, which had been lying on the floor, or on a chair, or once — his socks — on the keys of the upright piano she kept in the bedroom. The bedroom was bigger than the living room; she thought she wanted to move. Sometimes she stayed in bed while he dressed, and told him sleepily that she’d had a good time with him. Then the darkness and slight strain of what he was doing, going home when they could have been sleeping, seemed to make her say less than she wanted to say, as if, in ‘he dark, she mustn’i. even ask his name or he would vanish; and so there were words in the air between them, and perhaps it wasn’t clear who was thinking t m. What on earth did he think he was up to? What was this? Who did he thinK he was, doing this to himself? Really to her was the equally unspoken reply; to her, if anyone. (Forget it, pal, she 11 survive was surely in both their minds.) One time she laughed and said, Well, did he have a wife he hadn’t told her about? No, not one he hadn’t told her about.

He said, "I only have two bodies. How’s that for fidelity? Mine and yours."

"Well, I should think so," she said quickly, without feeling. But generally she was easy on him when she was with him. She was smart; in fact, she was artistic. She had a happy influence on him.

When he got dressed in the dark, he might find himself back on the bed for a moment or two, the covers and his coat between them, his mouth on her cheek, her eyelid; her mouth, thank God, smiling in the shadows while he told her the same things he had told her before, but now he was dressed.

They went on like this all through the fall, and while he wondered, listening to her play the piano, he knew that eventually she would act if he did not. They were shadowed by a sense of humor which sometimes seemed a longer shadow of events.

She knew what he had done, or what he meant when he said it, which he did at length. She had heard all about it, and she listened with such attention that she might have been taking him literally. He said quite seriously — so she had to smile — that he had killed his wife. All right, not killed — merely destroyed. Yet not her but her life. Or their life. That is, by not leaving her. (She had left him.) He said all this as if he would recall, and recall in order to amend. But this long crime against womanhood, this murder, had it not required an accomplice? he was asked — asked more than once, and once in her dark, lovely bedroom.

An accomplice? She meant his wife, of course.

Well, nobody had caught him, nobody had put him in jail for it. So forget, forget, forget.

And, naturally, his girlfriend was right, but he shook his head, staring at the ceiling in the dark room. Her hand found his face and covered it firmly. "You see, they changed the law. We’re on the honor system now. You punish yourself."

"Don’t want to be on the honor system," he muttered, but she didn’t change the subject.

"John, you’re still half married."

He looked through her fingers into the darkness and made a satisfied sound; the hand upon his face was delicious. He kissed the hollow of her palm and turned to look her in the eye.

She asked if he minded her calling him half married. He touched her mouth and he remembered that she had said he hadn’t really thought about that old marriage of his. Think about it, forget it, think about it, forget it, she seemed to be saying. They listened to a neighbor’s stereo drumming deeply, distantly. She gave his forehead a long, soft kiss, which was like when she whispered in his ear, whispered until the finest-spun words became breath.

Once, on the way home, from streetlamp to streetlamp, past gentle, lurid light, past probes of flashing cabs winging downtown over potholes and heaves of the avenue, he thought that he had not really been married after all. Across the street, the blonde prostitute who was always zipped tight into the bright colors of her costume stood dark-eyed and pale at the entrance to an alley, so that she looked like she had the key to its high iron gate. His hands were cold, and he stopped for coffee in a place he had passed many times — a little hole-in-the-wall newsstand cafe. Why had he wanted to stop there? Nothing much — it was at the intersection where he turned.

He would come along in the middle of the night before dawn, following a coastline, and then, across the street, through the sidewalk service window, he would see a woman pouring coffee from a glass pot that seemed to hang from her knuckles. Three or four men leaned on their elbows at the cramped counter inside. A nurse in white stockings and a dark coat would come along — or, once, an off-duty cop with his satchel — and stop at the window and pick up a paper if the early papers were out, fold it, and hand the money through. The woman, who looked Puerto Rican, was framed in the service window and gave change or passed out a pack of cigarettes, and she might pause and look out across the avenue. At this intersection he would turn and walk the rest of the way home crosstown. But this one night he went in and took the remaining stool at the counter. There wasn’t much room inside. Someone must have been right behind him in the street, because the woman went to the window with a brown paper bag. She must have had it ready. She handed it out to a man who wore a knitted face mask. The man laughed at something she said, and she came back to the counter and poured John a cup of coffee, assuming with a smile that that was what he wanted.

A cup of coffee was a cup of coffee. Yet staying overnight with his girl wasn’t staying overnight unless he had breakfast with her. So didn’t he like her, that he had left her and come here for coffee on the way home? The coffee was almost strong; it was rich and had a faint, natural sweetness to it.

His girlfriend slept easily. Once, he had phoned her on the way home and she was already asleep and brought the phone slowly to her ear while he imagined her dark bedroom and the dark living room beyond it. He had left her there in the middle of the night. But he loved her and he loved having breakfast with her. She talked of moving. He thought of a better life. She had said at the very beginning that he was her other body. Well, she was his. They had met at a fund-raising party given by her radio station. Her name was Linda.

He kept her to himself. He did tell his friend Harry how he had danced in a deserted subway station with her and had spent the night in a tent on a small mountain in New Jersey in order to prove to her that New Jersey did have mountains. And one Sunday at the pier he had slowly — keeping an eye on her — drawn a pencil out of his jacket pocket and surprised himself by doing a picture of her. He never drew — he couldn’t draw at all. "You see?" she had said.

"Linda sounds pretty and she sounds nice," Harry said. "When am I going to meet her?"

Harry lived forty minutes upriver by train. John and Harry met at the gym, where they put on the gloves but seldom boxed. Light gloves for the punching bags. He and Harry had reached a point of skill at which they could talk while working the speed bag, one resting, the other working, snapping the small black Everlast bag up against the circular platform it hung from. It sounded like tap dancing when the timing peaked, the hands went faster and faster, the bag twice as fast.

Harry was much heavier and had a full English mustache. He told jokes while he worked out. Sometimes it was an awful joke you wouldn’t repeat except to someone you were very sure of. All the time, he went on striking the bag in front of him, single-punching, side-slapping, or double-punching fast after the bag hit up against the far side and before it hit the near side again.

Harry invited him to come up with Linda for the weekend. He asked Harry for a rain check. Sure; it rained all the time up at their place, Harry said. John laughed, and Harry said it was all very well for John, who wasn’t always tied down to his office, but a weekend for him was a weekend. Harry was not a friend to tell you what you should do; but " ‘John and Linda’— that sounds pretty good," he said, and just at that moment the member of this mythical couple who was present was overtaken by a yawn so true and deep, opening across the eyes and the spine, across the shoulders and cheekbones, that he flubbed his timing and sent the speed bag glancing off, and stepped back to complete his yawn, which then seemed to find further depths in him, while Harry stopped the bag and took over. He got going at once. "She cutting into your sleep?" he said, going about his work and grinned at some still point in the midst of his target’s blur until he suddenly finished off his sequence with a smash that practically blew the bag off its swivel.

Harry wouldn’t volunteer advice, but he cared about John, and he listened. "I’ve known you a long time; if she says you’re still married, she’s probably right."

"Then I’m a bigamist," John said and laughed. Harry was a lawyer.

"The worst kind. They can’t do nuthin’ to ya."

"That’s what you think," said John.

John told Linda what Harry had said, and knew he shouldn’t have.

"Harry and his wife knew her," she said, and, in a catch of her breath, she was about to go on, but she thought a moment, distracted in the dark when John moved. "I wonder where she is," she finally said.

"Don’t," said John, wondering if she thought he knew.

"She’s better off where she is," came the voice in front of him in his arms.

"You make it sound like Heaven," he said.

But then she unbent a leg and stretched it, his thigh against hers. She snuggled back against him. "We can’t all be in Heaven," she said, yawning.

"Then there’s the real bigamist you read about in the paper, who really and truly has a double life; and that is a lot of life," he said, as she listened in the darkness of her bedroom.

"I don’t believe it," she said.

Linda found another apartment. It gave him pause. She couldn’t wait to get out. The new apartment was a dozen or so blocks uptown and would be better in every way except the rent was more. John was going to help her move. Then, a week before the end of the month, she got a call from the departing tenant at the crack of dawn to say, with humor, that he had already departed. She phoned her new super and decided at once to take the day off and clear out. She called John and told him not to change his plans, she had phoned some friends of hers — a couple with a van.

They came over, and the job got done in three trips; the move was all finished by mid-afternoon. Just as they were sitting down to have a beer the phone rang; it was the former tenant, asking if everything was cool. Thanks again, he was told.

For the time being, only the large kitchen needed a paint job. And that was where Linda was standing all by herself, thinking, when, at six-thirty, John found the front door unlocked, pushed it open, and politely touched the buzzer. He had seen the place once already but not in its present mess. She came out to greet him. He gave her a kiss on one tired cheek. Her stomach made a hungry sound. They gave each other a lot of little kisses, and she was so friendly holding him that he could feel words forming in her mouth. Her arm lay along his shoulders; she thanked him for sending over the plant, which he saw out of the corner of his eye near the piano — a heroic plant, large-scale and formidable, with a very simple Latin name he had forgotten.

She was happy with the bare brick wall across from the piano. Did she need another table in the living room? Well, he said, what about one of those swing seats that hung from a chain bolted to the ceiling? She laughed at that. Keep the furniture off the floor as much as possible, he said. They contemplated the loft bed in the corner of the living room by a window. The former tenant had built it, but he hadn’t tried to get any money for it or for some beautifully made bookshelves with sliding panels. He said he had to give up the place because the landlord wouldn’t let him sublet. Linda had acquired an official, though obsolete, street sign marking an intersection near her old apartment. The steel-framed, blue-background style signaled a neighborhood of fire escapes and steeples and great quantities of flowers passing on a horse-drawn wagon, all of which John recalled as clearly as he had heard the man on the wagon calling up to the windows, a man in a cap — though that horse-drawn wagon creaking down a city block without a lot of parked cars was much less his to remember than his parents’, who didn’t live in the city now. Linda’s street sign was a collector’s item: where had she found it? Oh, her friend with the van had given it to her.

How did the piano sound in its new home?

She told him to listen for himself, and she played a hymn standing up; without the pedal it had the briskness of a march.

He stayed that night and the next night. She had the lock changed and gave John a key to the apartment and one to the street door.

He said he would keep them for an emergency. He wouldn’t use them. He wondered what emergencies he meant.

Walking home from her former apartment, he had felt that that was her part of the city — her city, though she had come to it not long ago. When she lived there, he had walked uptown and over, and it was a shade less safe than walking from the new apartment. This new route was crosstown, past a public school, then up two blocks, then crosstown. Both neighborhoods were new to him, both old, both more Hispanic than ten years ago; and if he occasionally phoned on his way home, he wasn’t checking to see if she was asleep or O.K., he was extending some happiness he had that she was there in that place.

On the new route, he passed a Spanish restaurant with a big guitar worked into its neon sign, unlighted on these dark, early mornings. The fancy plasterwork was like the facade of a Spanish restaurant in Linda’s old neighborhood; they had never eaten there. He missed the old route: the dilapidated stoops; a cleaner’s with a lighted clock and a gloomy poster that said "New Suede" above a sheep with long eyelashes, walking (or standing) happily in its sleep; an office building with a dingy marble lobby, where, behind two sets of doors, the watchman sat with his back to the street, reading his paper, a Thermos on the table beside him; then the rather nasty drugstore displaying a clutter of skin remedies and bottles of headache remedies and little propped-up advertisements and, seedy there in the light from the street, a bulky carton slightly used and askew, containing some prosthetic device. Then, a couple of doors down, past the meat market that had a rabbit and an unplucked bird hanging in the window at suppertime but nothing at three in the morning, there was the delicatessen with the powerful all-night cat lying on its side in the space between the plate glass and a crate of large, thick-skinned eating oranges, which were directly below a hook-load of bananas blanched to a sharp pallor by exposure to the solitary light of the streetlamp. He knew all these private landmarks, right down to the pay phone on a concrete post next to a steel-mesh trash basket. He missed that old route; it went only as far as the intersection, where the newsstand cafe was. From there on, his route home remained the same.

Two doors down from the brocade-curtained window of the Spanish restaurant was Linda’s new fish market, a pillow store on one side and a pet shop called Fin and Claw on the other. The white enamel fish trays, more vacant than the plate glass, seemed to slant more sharply than when they were full of gray and coral shrimp and white layers of fillet.

The restaurant people had gone home; the fish people would be getting up to go to the wholesale market across the river. The married people were traveling in their sleep, but together. He tried to imagine his one-time wife in Heaven. It was like failing to get a phone call through. He felt that Harry and his wife knew where she had ended up. How terrible, but he didn’t ask. He could imagine only real places like Hawaii, at the other end of the world, except Hawaii was very expensive.

Linda got mad one night going down in the elevator. "So what if you did kill her?" The door slid open, and suddenly they were facing the lobby and the superintendent, who was all dressed up, so the dark glasses he always wore looked different. "So what if you did kill her?"

John shushed Linda, and they all laughed.

"So what if you did kill her? That was her destiny. To leave you. And your destiny was to survive her."

The super watched them go out. Linda was mad, all right.

"I think of her in Hawaii," said John.

Linda laughed. "Don’t think of her at all," she said, going through her bag out on the sidewalk. She had locked herself out; but there was the super. But John had the keys.

One morning John and Linda were walking arm in arm into the cold, glaring winter sun. A truck in front of the fish market was unloading long boxes of glittering fat halibut, striped bass, red snapper, and silvery blues; the name in large red letters on the truck was not the fish market’s name. So the fish came to the fish people, he said, rather than the other way around. He knew she was looking at him as if seriously he were the village idiot, but more the way she did sometimes at the movies, so that, turning to see her amber eyes in the light of the screen looking at him — it was like opening his own this timeless morning to find her leaning above him, bare and warm, the sun on her neck and on her arm and in her hair. Seeing her was living.

He had yawned and smiled and said that he had overslept. Slept, she had said, not overslept. She had run her fingers along his jaw and rubbed it lightly, busily. He recalled finding a new part of her body during the night; he told her he wasn’t sure now exactly where it was, and they amused themselves by being slightly awed at this.

When they got up and got going, she talked a lot. She had woken by mistake while it was still dark, and she thought that he had to get home and it was her fault that he hadn’t. John watched her drink her orange juice and said he had certainly dreamed, but all he knew was that in one dream he was in bed with her, hugging her and listening to the piano.

Wow! She liked that. Linda put her orange juice on top of the piano and sat down and played a song fast. Except, she went on, in her dream — and she slowed down and looked fondly over her shoulder at him as she continued to play — in her dream they were high up off the floor and she hadn’t minded. John had the answer. "I was in your old bedroom, and you were in your new living room" — he pointed at the departed tenant’s handiwork—"and there’s a bed and a piano in each."

She played the song again, his presence evident in the sway of her shoulders. Hey, what time was it, she called, and went on playing. The phone rang, but she didn’t stop, and by the time John got there the person had hung up. He lay down on the bed for a moment and listened to the music in the other room, as if he were alone.

When they went out, the light was miraculous against the winter cold. He felt they were a couple. But then she said, "We make a good couple." What could he say? She started making conversation, and he hated himself — almost.

According to Linda, the former tenant had phoned her again to ask uncertainly if she had had trouble closing the bathroom window; she could get the super to fix the sash if she could find him.

When was this?

A couple of times: once when she was playing the piano before she left for the office, then yesterday as she came in the door.

So that was him this morning.

She wouldn’t be surprised.

Can’t go through life not answering the telephone.

She didn’t propose to.

But she hadn’t this morning.

But generally she did answer. Plus she’d had company.

"The Departed Tenant is nostalgic," he said. "He can’t seem to tear himself away."

"The Departed Tenant was heading for New Mexico originally," said Linda.

"Where was he yesterday?"

"He had to dig up an extra dime; he was in a pay booth."

"He talked an extra nickel’s worth?"

But the other morning the man was definitely calling from a home phone, Linda said. Bach was playing in the background, or a reasonable facsimile, and it got a lot louder for a moment, as if someone was turning the wrong dial.

"Or someone picked up a phone extension right by the speaker," said John.

"He’s staying in touch, I guess."

"With his old place or with you?"

"Maybe New Mexico will come to him," said Linda.

"I’d rather he went there," said John.

"But there would go my Departed Tenant out the window."

A week later, when John stopped at the all-night cafe on his way home, he was observed closely, provocatively, by a familiar man for whom the woman was pouring a cup of coffee when John came in. The man seemed tired. He was about John’s age, but his uneven, stubbly beard made him look older— maybe younger, too. He wore a broad-brimmed, high-crowned western hat and a white woolen parka that was extremely dirty. Except for a scar-like crease along his cheek above his beard, as if he had slept in a trench for days, his appearance agreed with Linda’s description of the Departed Tenant. The woman kidded John about being late, as if she kept track of him. She didn’t seem to know the fellow in the hat. It came to him, like the sudden leisure of insight, that the most powerful way for you to shadow anyone would be to have him follow you. The woman again said he was late, and she smiled at him. She had on a heavy, jacket-like sweater with a heavy, rolled collar of the same thick black wool coming up behind her neck under her rough, dark hair. He returned the renewed glance of the guy in the hat and was going to ask him what was on his mind, when he stood up and put some change beside his full cup. He had big hands that had knocked around and worked and seemed at rest and seemed the only thing certain about him. He moved past John to get to the door, and John smelled paint and something else milder to do with work. The woman plucked some muffins out from under the grill, talking over her shoulder to a broad-shouldered little man on the next stool whose every movement John could feel. The man was smoking a cigarette; he was not going anywhere. John sat for almost an hour and bought an early newspaper. The phone rang as the woman poured scrambled eggs into a small black frying pan. He paid for two coffees and left.

John filled Linda in on her new neighborhood. A mugger had been going around spraying Sentinel in the eyes of women late at night, as if they were attacking him. They couldn’t remember what he looked like afterward. John had learned about this in a cafe a block beyond the public school one afternoon. Two men on a draped staging were steaming the front of a town house across the street. It had been a rooming house for decades and was being gutted. A woman in a wheelchair had entered the cafe talking not quite to herself, and she stopped at his table by the window and cheerfully called for her cup of tea. She wore dark glasses and had a streak of green through her dyed brown hair. She had been talking when she came in, and she divided herself between calling like a deaf person to the nodding Oriental behind the counter and quietly telling John what this counterman, Ralph, was thinking. A fat boy in a painter’s cap wearing white overalls with white paint stains on them looked up from his magazine and said, "Nirma was reminding Ralph of all the crazy no-goods who had lived in that block and in that brownstone they were looking at across the street; her husband was contractor for the extensive work being done on the house; it had been bought by two men who designed ladies’ shoes." Finally, John asked the man, Ralph, behind the counter if all Nirma said was true, but Nirma had apparently concluded the conversation, because, turning her wheelchair around, she rolled to the door and then was helped out by the boy in overalls, who had gotten up from the counter to leave with her.

"I know her husband," said Linda that night. "He’s the local locksmith. What were you doing here in the middle of the afternoon?" They got in bed and Linda turned off the light.

"Becoming a degenerate, of course."

Well, it was about time, she said, and got on top of him and pinned him. As a matter of fact, Nirma’s husband was a licensed electrician, did moving, and had a free-floating crew of guys working for him.

"One of them helped to float his wife out of there this afternoon," said John.

Linda laughed, and murmured, "She don’t need no help, honey." There was something in the words, something missing.

"Hard to believe that’s his wife," John said.

"You haven’t seen him," came the words in the dark, and here it was again, a quizzical harshness as clear as the touch that accompanied the words. Then her touch became as light and hard as ever. She could bear down on his head to massage the hair by its roots off his brain in the dark room; meanwhile, some soft spot around his stomach found another touch of hers so light-fingered it was hairlike and, growing here and there all over his body, felt good.

Languorously, softly, and so slowly that he heard his lips part, he asked if there had been further word from the Departed Tenant. She moved her hands and clasped him in her arms. (He could put his hands over her eyes when she was playing the piano and she would go on playing.) Yes, she said, to tell the truth, she had heard from the Departed Tenant, again calling to say that he would be glad to fix her bathroom window himself; the super, according to the Departed Tenant, was a nice guy but he didn’t do spit, and he wasn’t there a whole lot, because he had two other buildings, if not three, because he needed the cash flow, y’know. John could hear the very voice of the man. But the completeness of Linda’s love at this moment made the intentions of the Departed Tenant only a passing mystery, like her humor. For her humor had taken a turn. It sounded like a private joke that might be with John or against him.

Was she getting ready to turn away from him? Not possible. The next evening she told an odd story or two about the neighborhood, and the way she talked seemed unlike her; she sounded as if she were making up what she told him, but she wasn’t.

Nothing like getting to know your new neighborhood. Well, now, she said, an unusual body had been hidden on the canvas-draped staging that the men had been using to work on the brownstone. John asked what was unusual about it. Oh, it turned out to be only sleeping, she said. He asked if it had all its limbs. As far as they could tell, she guessed; it didn’t breathe for quite a while, but it must have been saving its breath, because it was quite a presentable body and finally it decided to breathe. And move on? he asked, in the living room, hearing her in the kitchen. It was one of those no-goods the locksmith’s wife gave tidings of, said Linda.

"Some Departed Tenant," John said.

"Not mine," she said from the kitchen.

"Yours hasn’t departed," said John.

"Any day now," came the answer, as the refrigerator opened and closed.

"He calls when I’m not here," said John, sitting down at the piano. "It’s uncanny: he only calls when I’m not around."

Linda pounded something. "I told him enough was enough, I was going to speak to you."

"In this day and age you said that?" said John. But Linda said that she had said a bit more than that, actually. She had said John had a temper.

"He misses this place," said John, and played the first notes of a song which were also the first six notes of a scale. "And for a Departed Tenant who’s sticking around, that’s heavy."

Linda came out into the living room to smile at him. She had an apron on over her bluejeans, and he knew there was a joint in her apron pocket, because he had felt it there not long ago. Lately he wasn’t sure what was going on. She gave him some respectful warmth that he didn’t quite know what to do with, because it was as close as his body and as separate as his clothes, as if he had a new authority that still wasn’t power. He just wasn’t sure what was going on.

She had a hammer in her hand. She was going to staple in the wiring for a second set of stereo speakers in the bedroom; dinner could be ready in ten minutes whenever they wanted it. John said he would staple the wiring, but Linda said he didn’t have to, and they sat down and smoked instead. He read her mind and asked her if she loved him. She said that was her line, why had he said it, what did he mean? He said very very softly and, he thought, humorously, "Oh shut up." She didn’t quite love it, he saw.

The next night they went to the Spanish restaurant for dinner. He was going away the following afternoon. They finished a bottle of wine, bickering a bit over whether they were splitting the check or not, then speculating whether the shrimp and mussels and the pale rings of squid came from the fish market next door, and then arguing about which way the neon guitar was pointing. He had reached for his wallet and paused, distracted, his fingers in the inside pocket of his jacket. She laughed in a more silly, distantly silly, way than he had heard her laugh before. She said if he would let her pay her share of the check she would let him pay half the rent. This set her off again; it was more than giggling; the tears shook themselves out, laughter tears — his grin got fixed — and when she calmed down she asked him like a little girl did he have to go to Houston? Couldn’t he put her in his pocket and take her along? Couldn’t he put off the trip?

Oh, he really couldn’t, he said, laughing with her.

What, not till sunrise, my darling? she said.

Oh, certainly till sunrise; maybe the Departed Tenant would call.

Oh, he never, never would call when John was there. The giggling began again.

Man sounded like the refrigerator light. There only if you opened the door.

She never opened any door for that creep.

Didn’t favor degenerates?

A select few only, she said (as a microphone got touched); degenerates could be fun even when they were not very observant.

The waiter came back with the change.

Did she mean degenerates who forgot which way la guitarra pointed?

Since he insisted.

Well, there she was definitely wrong, so they rose to go out and look at the sign and settle the issue.

The tip lay in the waiter’s little oblong change tray. The waiter gave out menus at another table and turned his head to say goodnight. But now, without warning, the live music began with a beat of chords. A smiling man and woman in black now struck such a proud, harsh dance out of their instruments that John didn’t quite identify what was odd about the couple. He took Linda’s hand and with his other hand on the small of her back drew close, and they swayed for a few moments and turned and turned again under the tolerant eye of a couple who were eating their meal a few feet away, until a waiter approached with what looked like dinner for half a dozen people, and that was that, as far as the dancing was concerned. John looked back at the guitar players, who were still smiling, and it was not until he and Linda got back to her place that they realized they had neglected to look at the sign. She said it didn’t matter, which made him wonder if that had been after all the thing degenerates weren’t observant about.

"Anyway, I did notice that the woman was left-handed," said John.

"I think it was the man," said Linda, hanging up her coat.

"No, he was on our right."

"Oh, you re right," she said shortly.

"What?"

"You win, friend," she said. He couldn’t believe it, but she walked away irritated. He thought of leaving; he thought of the elevator coming up to meet him and of the crazy sign by the button panel that said, "After u p.m. Return Elevator to First Floor."

"Hey, wait a minute," he called after Linda. But then he kept whatever it was to himself. He remembered the guitars were pointing toward each other, and the man was on their right, therefore fingering with his right hand and strumming with his left.

Had Linda been getting along with John even at the restaurant? He was deciding whether he liked all this, when the phone rang and he stayed where he was. If you fingered with your right hand, then you were a left-handed guitarist. So why had Linda said, "You win"?

He heard her say in the bedroom, "You’re not my friend, but I will say goodbye. Please don’t call any more, O.K.?"

John felt the very slightly delayed "O.K.?" in his heart. "Just don’t call," said Linda in the bedroom, but he didn’t hear the phone go down. Then he did.

"Just tell him not to phone," John said.

"I did."

"You were a bit polite. You said, ‘Please don’t call any more’ and then you added ‘O.K.?’ like you were asking permission."

John went and looked at her. She was sitting on the bed. "Listen," she said, "he hung up on me."

"He should be apprehended if he hangs up on you," said John. "We should call the authorities."

Linda went past him into the living room, into the kitchen. She came out again and went and sat at her piano, her shoulders slumped. She got up and took something from the top of the piano and brought it to him; it was a color photograph of herself. She said, gently, that he hadn’t seen it, which gave him a shiver, because she didn’t know he had another one just like it in his pocket. It was a Polaroid — with that flat accuracy that looked too accurate. She was always beautiful, but here she looked as if she were hanging around waiting to be photographed for a commercial. His arm went around her shoulders. They stood there admiring her picture — anyway, he was admiring it. She was in her office at the radio station, and behind her was a blurred chart that, he knew, showed what music was going to be played during the next two or three months. In her posed composure, in some sign in her eyes and the set of her face, John felt that she wasn’t making as much money as the person taking the picture. What was she saying in showing him this Polaroid photograph here, now, at this awkward point?

It was as if they were in bed, quiet with their shared secrets. But they couldn’t get there for the time being. They were mad at each other, but he had his arm around her, and she must know he was breathing the fine odor of her face. Linda had a mole under her eye high on one cheek, and in the picture it looked like a perfectly applied beauty spot. Her dark-red turtleneck sweater with the silver horse he had given her pinned on the side seemed as permanent as the camera’s light. Didn’t he want to go to bed with her? He didn’t know how she felt. But elsewhere, apart from the phone calls and the restaurant and anything bad in the past, they did always want to love each other; they always had wanted to.

Linda was looking at him as he stared at the photograph.

A woman knows how to wait, he had told Harry. You said it, replied his friend, but she’s a beautiful girl, so look out — someone else will marry her if you don’t.

What about her marrying them?

Sure, sure, that could happen, too. Let’s set a definite date for a weekend.

The Polaroid held them there, in the middle of Linda’s living room. She said the picture really captured her; she joked about the dumb look on her face. What she then broke to him quietly, while they looked at the photograph, was that the Departed Tenant had not only not finally departed but had visited this apartment recently at least twice, she thought.

He what? But the lock had been changed. What did he get?

Well, actually, he left something.

Linda went to the loft bed that she hadn’t yet decided what to do with. She reached up and put her hand on a quilt folded at the foot of the bed. She lifted a corner of it — diamond-checked, dull green and white, with ribbons sticking out here and there.

What had he left the second time? Had he improved on the quilt? Was he getting ready to move back in?

Linda didn’t think that was funny. She had asked the super with his perpetual dark glasses if he had let the former tenant in, and he had opened his mouth wide; he seemed mad at her suggesting such a thing, but he was the sinister one — he smiled all the time. John said maybe he was remembering what Linda had said getting out of the elevator: ‘7’ra the sinister one. He heard you call me a murderer."

Linda shrugged. She had asked about the Departed Tenant. The super said there had been four of them, sometimes more; he would see someone he never saw coming in downstairs and would know they were going to that apartment. One girl was a waitress at the rock club next to the church; one of them made jewelry out of junk and sold it in the street. There was a tall girl from upstate who had a bicycle and drove a cab sometimes. Two of the boys were housepainters, carpenters — when they worked. Then for a while there was just him and the girl with the bike. The super would see them with their groceries, and once, when he was putting out the trash, he looked up and saw the two of them at the window of the apartment. Then lately there was just him, the super was a hundred percent certain. He’d seen him the other day. He was waiting for a friend of his who was working on that brownstone that was being redone. The super would speak to him if he saw him again.

John asked if Linda had told the super about the bathroom window.

Oh, he had fixed it; and incidentally, there was no way the Departed Tenant could have gotten in through a window five floors above an alley, no fire escape, no ledges to speak of—

And carrying a quilt!

And carrying a quilt. To lay folded on the loft bed that he had made a point of saying he was giving to Linda, which was worth something to the room beyond the three hours’ labor and the lumber that went into it. He wasn’t going to make her pay for the loft bed and he wasn’t going to take it down.

But he came a second time.

This time he took something.

It was getting later, and Houston seemed not so far away as the airport John had to get to tomorrow afternoon to fly to Houston. Houston was why they had had dinner at the Spanish restaurant tonight. The quilt was in his hand, the bed just above eye level; Linda was looking at him, the window behind her.

The Departed Tenant had taken two things, as a matter of fact.

John was asking just when was this second visit, but in his thoughts he put the last couple of weeks together — himself the least vivid neighbor in these places where the man with the crease on his cheekbone got up and left, and he sat down in front of the other man’s coffee, so that a woman with improbable blue eyes could tell John a couple of times that he was late, and take the coffee away, and another woman, with amber eyes, could look at him with concerned anger, he thought, while he looked at her photograph with some anguish against his heart. She had said, "O.K.?" as if to ask leave of the Departed Tenant, who had apparently been breaking into this pad of hers, where not only had the piano that had been in the old bedroom moved into the new living room but there was a bed high off the floor as well, and now a quilt. He didn’t like hearing her talk to the guy, but as for his real anguish, it wasn’t here in this place; John had left it somewhere else.

He heard himself saying to her that maybe he ought to move, too.

"What’s that got to do with that man getting in here?" said Linda.

"It’s how I feel when I go back to my own place," he said, and his heart was thick as a hundred sounds at once.

"Stop smiling," she said. "Or tell me what it is."

"What did he get away with?"

"You couldn’t care less," she said extravagantly.

He laughed, and she said that when he got back from Houston they’d have to have a talk. He said he’d heard that before. He bobbed his head sideways at the bed above them — an unspeakable crudity, at this moment, that sent her into the bedroom.

He turned out the lights and put the chain on the door. He went in expecting her to be sitting on the bed or lying down staring at the ceiling. She was standing beside her bureau, absorbed in a magazine. He held her shoulders and looked at the article she was reading, and asked what the intruder had gotten away with. She put the magazine down and didn’t speak until she was in bed. He had watched her, and now he stood there with his clothes on.

The neighborhood led to her front door and through it. And out again, home again, he envisioned, and he also saw that — after her apartment had changed again, a third apartment, a fourth apartment, and he was walking home in one new way after another, but always through the intersection where the Puerto Rican woman with the blue eyes sometimes had the night shift and once, well after dawn, was being helped by a little girl who had her hair in two braids — he would himself move to a new apartment, so that between his place and Linda’s there was no point in passing through that intersection.

"Please don’t tell me you’ve heard it before," she said. She did not ask if he was coming to bed.

"But I have heard it before," he said.

"And you’ve heard your wife say she was moving because you wouldn’t; and you’ve heard the stereo blasting out the Beatles or Beethoven as you put your key in the front door and your heart fell because you felt it was your fault she was boozing, but you would never tell her it was your fault. And you heard her say When you get back, we’ve got to have a talk; but so what — so what?"

"But when I got back, she wasn’t there," he said.

"I really wouldn’t know," said Linda. She shifted in bed and raised up on an elbow. "She must have been there sometimes. Maybe she’s there now, for all I know."

"I’m going," he said.

"What a sucky date this has been," said Linda.

"Do you think he’s dangerous?" said John.

Linda laid her head down on the pillow. "He’s got a hammer," she said.

"He took a hammer?"

"It was right here on the bed table under the lamp, with the two Polaroid pictures of me."

"That was his hammer," said John.

"But I was using it."

"Listen, I really meant to staple those speaker wires for you."

"I’m glad you didn’t," said Linda wearily.

He moved out of the bedroom. "You creep," she called after him. "We’ve had that talk, so forget it. Lock the door on your way out."

He took the chain off, and as he was letting himself out Linda said, "He took one of the pictures."

"What?" said John across the dark space of the apartment.

Linda raised her voice. "He took one of the Polaroids with him when he called, but I was afraid he’d try to return it." John bet himself that Linda didn’t think he would go. He closed the door softly behind him and locked it.

In the elevator he was relieved. Linda would have to have the lock changed — and by another locksmith, not from around here. That was the answer— of course! — to how the Departed Tenant had gotten in. And the door didn’t lock by itself, so he had to have had a key to lock up when he left. The Departed Tenant had a friend who worked for the contractor, who was also the locksmith in the neighborhood, and he must have done the job or had it done by somebody who worked for him. The key must not have been registered if the Departed Tenant had gotten hold of a duplicate.

The story went on in his head. He came to the lobby door and leaned his head against the glass. It was cool against his forehead, and, staring at his shoes, he remembered again the snapshot in his inside pocket. The tension or whatever it was passed without a sound, and he imagined, there, with his eyes shut, that his hand on the doorknob felt the polite force of somebody on the other side, coming home.

The restaurant was still very much open. He’d been right about the sign. The pet shop and the checks-cashed place were shut up tight. He wanted it to be later. A couple passed, and both of them were chewing gum. He’d seen a girl running for a bus this morning chewing gum.

He approached the corner where his former route joined this one. He saw the bearded man in the big western hat, who might have been the Departed Tenant, cross the street in front of him and disappear, walking south. It had to be the same man, though he wore an army jacket, not the grimy white parka.

At the corner he turned south to follow the man, who stopped down the block at the pay phone. And John stopped, as if, at fifty yards’ distance, he was waiting to use the phone when the man was through, while the man was looking at him as if the call might go on for a long time.

Two large trucks came racing uptown side by side, and a cab was trying to get around them. The man at the phone seemed to be talking. Now he put the phone back on the hook and strode off. John stood watching until the man broke into an easy jog and turned west at the next corner. John went after him past the phone on its cement post and the wire-mesh trash basket.

At the corner he didn’t see the man. The man could not have made it all the way down the block, but he had been going in the direction of Linda’s place. John ran back along the pavement to the phone and dialed her. She wasn’t answering.

He needed to pack. He would scare Linda if he went back now. He made the turn at the next corner, wondering if Linda had put the chain back on. She had an excellent sense of humor. So did he. Sometimes, she said.

At the cafe-newsstand intersection the traffic light was turning red when he saw Linda. She was wearing her purple coat, and she was crossing the avenue half a block ahead of him. A cab passed, and then another.

He stopped, and then he went on. On the far sidewalk she looked around her — everywhere except behind her. And then she went into his cafe. He called to her, but she went on inside. The way she had looked around uncertainly, she hadn’t planned to go to the cafe. What had she planned for the evening?

He would surprise her, but when he crossed the avenue and came to the takeout window and saw that the Puerto Rican woman hadn’t come on yet, Linda was at the door and stepped out onto the sidewalk and shook her head at him, smiling.

"They don’t have a pay phone," she said.

‘They don’t?" he said.

‘There wouldn’t have been anyone home."

"I hope not," he said. "I should get a machine."

They looked each other in the eye. He invited her in for coffee. "How did you wind up behind me?" she said. "Your face looks funny."

He didn’t like that. "I went down to my old pay phone to phone you."

"Why’d you do that?" she asked. "I was trying to catch up with you."

"Did you phone the police?" John asked.

Of course not; the Departed Tenant wasn’t dangerous. He had been phoning earlier, when John was there, to tell her he had reclaimed his hammer, he needed it, he was on his way at last.

"With his master key," said John. But he didn’t know.

She was having the lock changed tomorrow. John told her to see if she could have the key registered. She had thought of that.

"Fair exchange — a quilt for a hammer."

"Not a great quilt, but after all the hammer was his to begin with," she said, and she kissed him very lightly. He felt his heart race.

"The quilt went with the bed," he said.

"It stayed," said Linda.

"He must like you a lot to leave you the quilt."

"I think he liked her a lot. The girl from upstate. The quilt went with the bed."

"But not the hammer," said John. "Hammers are expensive if you’re an itinerant carpenter going to New Mexico."

"I think he loved her," said Linda.

"Will he show people your picture on his way west?"

"What would he say, I wonder?" said Linda.

John produced the picture from his inside jacket pocket. She looked from the picture to him and back again. She was pleased. "I knew it," she said, surprised. She put her hand on his shoulder, and they both looked at the photograph. "This makes better sense," she said. "When I left for work yesterday, there were two pictures. Now they’re all accounted for."

"If that guy had taken one — I mean as a souvenir — there would still have been one left for me," said John. "By the way, the hammer certainly wasn’t on the bed table, so the Departed Tenant must have been and gone."

"What were you doing in my apartment in the middle of the day?"

"I’m a degenerate," John said. "But you gave me the keys."

"I’m particular who I give them to," she said. "Didn’t you know that? No wonder you’re not married."

"Not even half married?" he asked.

She touched his hand. "No, not even half married. Unless it’s someone I don’t know about."

They decided not to have coffee after all. On the way back to Linda’s they discussed the Departed Tenant. Had he really, as he’d said, hoped to keep the apartment and sublet it to someone but couldn’t get permission? Whatever had been going on, they agreed that he had meant well. They agreed that he had moved out of the apartment because he had to.