Into the Dark

40

San Marino, California

Claire, I’m sorry for what happened last night. I felt horrible. I came to realize that you’re right, I’ve been ignoring you. Guess I’m still dealing with a little post-traumatic stress myself. The truth: it was Ruben’s retelling of the event that made me lose track and pause. Suddenly, all I saw was an inferno. I was trapped in it and it terrified me. Do not doubt for one second that I want to start a family with you. You’re my world, my life.

I need you more than you’ll ever know.

Claire stopped reading the note Robert had left on the kitchen table to brush away a tear before finishing.

I couldn’t sleep, so I worked a little on your planter boxes. The company texted me last night. One of our guys got sick so I had to go in early this morning to take his trip and then add it to mine. I tried not to wake you. I’ll call you. I hate leaving like this.

Forgive me.

Love,

Robert

Claire sat down as if winded and cupped her face in her hands.

At this moment she loved him.

At this moment she hated him.

What’s happening to us?

Claire looked through the glass of the patio doors to their backyard, her flower beds and the planter boxes. He’d moved them again. She half smiled at how he was so concerned about getting them just right for her. She loved them and he’d built more. They were beautiful.

We’ve both been through a lot lately. That’s what’s happened to us.

It was true, she admitted as she prepared a piece of whole-wheat toast with a peach for breakfast. But she had patients who needed her. She glanced at the time on the microwave. And she was running late.

In the shower, the hot water sharpened her concentration and she fell into the same old debate with herself over Robert that continued as she put on her makeup.

Why am I rationalizing every negative to convince myself that this is just a “rough patch” and everything’s going to be fine? I’m such a stupid, stupid woman. Every one of my instincts is telling me, screaming at me, that something’s terribly wrong between Robert and me.

Being honest about the problem was a start, she thought as she dressed, but she couldn’t deal with it any further at the moment. She was late and had a ton of work waiting for her at the office. Amber was her first patient this morning and Claire was hopeful that she was building on her progress and decision not to return to Eric.

Adjusting her necklace, Claire entered her home office to collect her USB flash drive. Then she disconnected her phone from the charger and, as if on cue, it rang.

“Hey, Claire, it’s me,” Julie said.

“Hi.”

“Did I get you at a bad time? Can you talk right now?”

“Sure, but I’m late and on my way out the door.”

“So how’d it go last night?”

“Overall, it went really well, very emotional and touching, I was proud of him but there were some strange moments.”

“Strange, how?”

“I don’t know, he seemed kind of touchy-feely with a couple of young women who had their picture taken with him.”

“What do you mean?” Julie asked.

“When he put his arms around them to pose, his hands just seemed to wander in a way that made me uneasy.”

“What about the women? Did they mind?”

“They didn’t care. If they did, they didn’t show it.”

“And he knew you were watching?”

“Yes.”

“That is strange. Where was it again?”

“Maywood.” Claire got into her car.

“Did you find out any more information for me?”

“I did, and that was one of the odd things. I didn’t need to ask-it came up randomly in conversation. Robert said that he and Cynthia had lived in Canada when they were married.”

“Canada? That explains why I couldn’t find anything. You know where in Canada?”

“No, it was a surprise to me and it made me angry and we got into it on the way home. He said he’d told me when we first met, but I swear he didn’t.” Claire pushed the button on her remote garage door opener. The door rose with a groan, light flooded the garage and she started her car.

“Okay, Canada,” Julie said. “That’s helpful. Our agency has subs there.”

“Subs?”

“Subcontractors. We have contacts to help us. I’ll see what I can find out.”

“Thanks, gotta go.”

During her drive to work Claire tried to focus on her practice, but it was futile. She was anxious. When she stopped at a long red light her mind swirled with images that pulled her back to her childhood home and…

…Her mother’s fingers desperately clawing at her father’s hand that gripped the gun… Suddenly Claire is a woman slammed with fury against a column in the airport and Cliff is crushing his forearm against her throat… Cliff raises his fist to smash her face when Robert seizes it, saving her… Robert last night…“I’ve always been there for you…you don’t know how lucky you are.”

The light changed and Claire resumed driving to her office.

She was not too late when she arrived. Alice was on the phone, her face creased with concern. Without disturbing her, Claire got a coffee and left reception but her attention lingered on Alice, curious about her demeanor and why no one was seated in the lobby.

Amber should have been in the reception area by this time, Claire thought, settling in at her desk, turning her computer on and waiting for Alice to bring her the agenda and patient list. Claire took her first sip of coffee when she heard Alice hang up and enter with the day’s list. Amber’s name had been crossed off. Claire looked at her for an answer.

“She didn’t confirm,” Alice said. “I just tried reaching her at home and on her cell and work numbers.”

“That’s unusual. Amber never cancels without telling us.”

“I know. What should we do?”

Claire tapped her pen to her chin.

“Let’s play it safe.” Claire got her wallet and a business card. “I’ll give Officer Freeman a call and let her know, just as a precaution.”

Claire got Freeman’s voice mail and left a message, but it was enough to put her and Alice somewhat at ease as they carried on with the morning.

Throughout the day, Claire’s concern grew as the Amber question remained unresolved. They’d heard nothing from her and, after a few hours with no response from Officer Freeman, Claire called San Marino P.D. She was put through to a duty sergeant and explained her unease.

“Freeman’s on a course in San Diego, but let me look up that case file.” Claire heard the sergeant typing on his keyboard, taking a moment to read the most recent summary. “All right, I’m up to speed. So basically given her circumstances and because she’s missed an appointment, you’re requesting we check on her welfare?”

“Right.”

“Okay, that address is in Alhambra, I’ll flag this with the Alhambra P.D., but I have to tell you, they’ve got a major apartment complex fire going. They’ve put a lot of traffic units on it. In fact, we’re supporting with some of our units. So it might be a while.”

In the back of her mind Claire clung to the hope that Amber would return Alice’s messages. At least the police had been alerted, Claire assured herself throughout the afternoon. After her last patient session of the day had ended, Claire gathered her things, instructed Alice to call her with any word on Amber, then headed home.

Claire got as far as the parking lot when she remembered she had to pick up a lamp. The antiques shop was in Alhambra and not far from her office. After paying for her lamp and putting it in her car, Claire’s thoughts returned to Amber.

Since she was in Alhambra, she should go to Amber’s house.

In the car she turned on her laptop and inserted her flash drive to review the file for Amber’s address. Was she crossing an ethical line? Visiting patients outside of the office was frowned upon. Claire stared at the address.

Am I going too far?

She reached for her cell phone and tried Amber’s numbers without reaching her.

Claire then tried the San Marino P.D. again and got a different sergeant this time. Like the previous one, he had to look up the status.

“No, apparently Alhambra P.D. did not get to it yet,” the sergeant said, “but they indicate here that it’s moved up the call list. I know they’ve had their hands full all day with the fire, and now they’ve had a bomb scare at a school. Meantime, maybe you could have a friend or relative check?”

Claire thanked the sergeant and hung up.

She had to make a decision.

Given everything that had happened with Amber’s case: Eric’s attack, the rage in his face, his attempt to drag Amber back into the relationship, the fact she was considering it-and now I can’t reach her-it was time to do something.

Claire keyed Amber’s address into her GPS, then started her car.