War Torn

Chapter Nine

JAMIE’S TEXT SAID HE HAD BEEN MADE ACTING SECTION 2 I/C. WHAT did that mean? If Agnieszka saw one of the other wives and they forced her into conversation as usual then she would find a way to ask them about a 2 i/c.She didn’t have anywhere to go today but she put Luke into the car because something had now gone wrong with the TV. Maybe she had hit the wrong button, maybe the set was really broken or maybe, maybe, maybe a thousand things but the result was the same: no TV. And she relied on TV to calm Luke down and send him off to sleep.It calmed her down too. She liked the programmes where people went to auctions with their old junk. She liked to see their faces as the bidding went up and up. Yesterday there had been a new game show and she had watched a man almost win a million pounds. At the last minute he had chosen the wrong box and he had cried. Agnieszka had cried with him. A million pounds would turn the world from black and white to colour. A million pounds would make the bumpy road smooth.The man had chosen the wrong box because he had not listened to his wife, who was shouting the right answer from the audience. Now they would have to drive home and carry on their unchanging lives together knowing that maybe their dreams would never come true.Agnieszka found herself driving towards the city. There was a cathedral and in the quaint streets surrounding it were many small, understated shops. But Agnieszka preferred the superstore on the outskirts. It was a cathedral of sorts, because you felt calm and peaceful when you walked up its wide aisles.She hummed along to the warm, soft music as she passed the stationery and art materials. The goods on the shelves were a riot of colour like indoor flower beds. Luke was sleeping deeply and she could look at the shelves undisturbed.Agnieszka made her way to the TV department and wandered between the sets, even though she could not afford to buy one. She read the cards carefully which described the special features of each set.‘Hello, Mrs Dermott.’She looked up. A man was grinning at her. For a moment she didn’t recognize him, just knew she felt pleased to see him.‘Darrel Gregg from the garage,’ he reminded her. But by then she had remembered. She smiled.‘Buying a TV?’‘I already have TV but it broken.’Darrel’s face fell. He was reflecting her own face back at her, she realized. The corners of his mouth turned down and his eyes looked sad.‘Let’s get this straight. Last week it was your car . . .’She tried to turn up the corners of her mouth to see if his corners would turn up too.‘. . . and this week it’s the TV.’‘Also dishwasher. That breaks even before car! Also gutter!’He gave her such an immense smile that she smiled back. He had a row of even white teeth which seemed to fill his face with smile. Then he began to laugh.She started to laugh too. ‘My husband go and whole house fall down!’ It seemed ridiculous now. It was so absurd that all you could do was laugh at it.‘I hope at least the car’s running all right.’She nodded, still smiling.‘Car is perfect. Like new car.’He looked pleased. ‘Glad we were able to help. Now what about your lad’s hospital appointment? You got up the motorway and everything was OK?’‘Well . . .’ She felt her face cloud again. You could laugh about broken TVs, dishwashers, cars, gutters. But you couldn’t laugh about a baby who needed fixing.His face clouded too. ‘Not OK, then?’Now she felt tears stinging at her eyes. She knew she must not speak or they would come flooding out of her. It was something you could do in private but never in public, certainly not with some man at the superstore. She glanced at Luke, sleeping peacefully in his buggy, his face round and his eyelashes long. He looked just like any normal baby. But he wasn’t.The man was watching her with concern. His eyes wrinkled at the edges when he smiled and then if he stopped smiling the wrinkles were still there. He was old, she thought. He might even be thirty.‘Mrs Dermott . . . I . . . look, what’s your first name?’She blinked at him. Her eyes felt wet. Damn. Damn!‘Agnieszka,’ she said in a voice so small that he asked her to repeat it several times.Finally he repeated it himself: ‘Agnieszka!’ He made it sound like a sneeze.She felt herself smiling. ‘Agnieszka!’‘Bless you! But I’ll never be able to say that. I’ll just call you Aggie. So listen, Aggie, got a few minutes to come to the café with me? I’d like to buy you a coffee and hear all about this beautiful boy of yours.’ He gestured towards the sleeping baby.She nodded and they went up the escalator together, Darrel steering the buggy expertly up the moving stairs.She sat down and he reappeared a few minutes later with a tray.He put a coffee cup down in front of her. ‘And crisps in case you feel salty. And a muffin in case you feel sweet.’ She didn’t move, just rocked the buggy back and forth while he unloaded the tray. It felt good to sit still and let someone else look after her.‘OK,’ he said, ‘tell me about your little boy.’So she told him about Luke’s fits. The trip to the hospital yesterday had been inconclusive. She hadn’t even discussed it with Jamie yet. She was waiting for his next call, when she would try to explain what the doctor had said, even though she hadn’t understood most of it and the link would disappear for whole sentences at a time.‘Has he had a scan?’‘He will have scan, doctor said.’ She had understood that much, anyway.‘Did he say what’s causing the fits?’‘He say it hard to know because Luke so young, we wait a few months to be know anything.’‘Well, did he give any idea what it might be?’Agnieszka shrugged. At this point the doctor had lost her. His language had become complicated and she had suspected he was being evasive.‘Luke’s still a young baby, Aggie, and, let’s face it, arriving into this world can be a bit of a shock. Some children take a while to adjust.’Agnieszka looked at him with admiration. He spoke so firmly and with such knowledge that he sounded like a doctor, he sounded the way the doctor at the hospital should have sounded. ‘I like that I understand every word you say.’‘But your English is fantastic!’‘No. But you very clear.’‘Right then, here’s something to be clear about. We have to sort out this broken TV of yours or you’ll end up with a new one you don’t need.’‘I don’t have money for new TV. I don’t know why I come here today, honest.’ She was glad she had, though. The coffee tasted good. It had a layer of thick milk on top and beneath, despite the two tiny sachets of sugar she had added, was the bitterness she loved.‘Does it start when you switch it on?’ He was sounding like a doctor again.‘It start but I don’t get good channel or good picture.’‘Cable, digital or terrestrial?’She didn’t know.‘I can sometimes sort that kind of thing out. I’m not a professional, mind. But would you like me to have a look?’She was so surprised that she upset her coffee. Embarrassed, she mopped it up with a series of increasingly brown, soggy napkins. Then he insisted on getting her another coffee.While he was gone, she caught sight of a pregnant woman marching through the supermarket section of the store beyond the café. A toddler sat at the front of her trolley, feet dangling. The woman seemed to be in a hurry, not in a dream the way Agnieszka had been through most of her pregnancy.A second later she realized that it was Jenny Henley with little Vicky. Agnieszka willed Jenny not to turn. But of course she did. She’d passed something she wanted so she stopped and swung the trolley around and there was a moment when she faced Agnieszka directly. Agnieszka’s heart sank. She hoped Jenny would just wave and keep going.

It took Jenny a moment to recognize her neighbour. Instinct told her to smile, wave and keep on shopping. She was due back at Leanne Buckle’s with the groceries in time to make lunch for everyone because all Leanne could do was cuddle the twins and twist a wet tissue around in her fingers until she had some more news of Steve.But Jenny liked Jamie a lot and she remembered how Dave had specially asked her to look out for Agnieszka. She remembered the woman’s isolation. And when Jenny had phoned with the news about Steve, Agnieszka had almost burst into tears. She decided to push her trolley over to the Polish girl for a quick, friendly hello.‘I’m rushing!’ she said apologetically as she approached. ‘I wish I could sit down and have a drink with you, Agnieszka.’‘Oh, I’m all right,’ Agnieszka said sweetly. Her smile was shy and she looked down at the ground.‘Steve’s still stable,’ Jenny said, as though Agnieszka had asked about him. Because she ought to have asked, Jenny thought. ‘But they must have given him a lot of morphine or something because no one’s spoken to him. I know Dave hasn’t. And Leanne’s just waiting by the phone.’‘I very, very sorry for Leanne.’ Agnieszka spoke with such sincerity that Jenny forgave her for not asking.Agnieszka was looking at Vicky now.‘How are you, little darling?’ she asked, her expression suddenly radiant. Vicky responded immediately to that smile. Who could fail to? Jenny thought. When Agnieszka smiled her apparent dissatisfaction melted away and her whole face was transformed. She really was beautiful. She made Jenny, who longed to find time for the hairdresser, feel dowdy. The baby kicked her heartily and she stroked her stomach as Vicky prattled on to Agnieszka.‘You’re welcome to drop by any time,’ Jenny told her. ‘I wish you would. I hate the first month or two after Dave goes. I get so fed up. Bring Luke over and we’ll have a cup of coffee.’The invitation was delivered warmly but it was received with nothing more than her usual polite nod.‘Must get moving.’ Jenny swung the trolley around. ‘It’s terrible if Leanne’s twins get hungry and they both start crying at once!’Vicky and Agnieszka waved passionately to each other. At the place where the café melted into the superstore, Vicky said: ‘Mummy, who’s that man?’Jenny turned in time to see a man approach Agnieszka with a cup in his hand. Jenny watched as the two exchanged smiles.‘I don’t know, sweetheart,’ she said. Had he been lingering with Agnieszka’s coffee on the outskirts of their conversation so that Jenny didn’t see him? She felt her face reddening. She didn’t know why.