A Spot Of Bother

102

Katie walked into the kitchen with Jamie and found the Blessed Saint Eileen seated at the table surrounded by a small jungle.

“We fetched your flowers,” said Eileen, getting to her feet.

For a moment Katie thought it was some kind of personal gift.

“Hullo, love,” said Mum, kissing Jamie.

Eileen turned to Jamie and said, “We haven’t seen this young man since…well, I don’t know how long it’s been.”

“A very long time,” said Jamie.

“So,” said Mum, looking slightly uncomfortable, “where’s Tony?”

Katie realized Mum was bracing herself for the poorly timed appearance of her son’s boyfriend in front of her unprepared evangelical sister. Which made her feel sorry for both Jamie and Mum. Clearly being queen for the weekend didn’t give her the power to resolve everything.

“I’m afraid he’s not coming,” said Jamie. Katie could see him steeling himself. “We’ve had a few problems. To cut a long story short, he went to Crete. Which is apparently very nice this time of year.”

Katie gave Jamie’s back a discreet pat.

“I am sorry,” said Mum and it seemed like she really did mean it.

Then Eileen said, “Who’s Tony?” in a wide-eyed innocent way that sent a noticeable chill through the room.

“Anyway,” said Mum, ignoring her sister completely and rubbing her hands together. “We’ve got lots to do.”

“Tony’s my boyfriend,” said Jamie.

And Katie thought that if it all went wrong, if the register office burned down or she broke an ankle on the way there, it would be worth it for the expression on Eileen’s face right now.

She looked as if she was receiving instructions from God on how to proceed.

It was quite hard to tell what Mum was thinking.

“We’re homosexuals,” said Jamie.

This, thought Katie, was over-egging the pudding a little. She pulled him toward the hallway. “Come on, you.”

And a man appeared at the kitchen door saying, “I’ve come to mend the toilet.”