A Spot Of Bother

120

When George reached the bedroom he experienced a surge of relief so deep he felt his bowels loosen a little.

Then, quite suddenly, he forgot where he had hidden the Valium and the panic rose like floodwater, thick and cold and fast, and he had to fight to keep breathing.

He knew that he knew where the bottle was. Or rather, he knew that he had known where it was ten minutes ago, because why would he forget something like that? And he knew that it was somewhere entirely logical. It was a simple matter of finding the pigeonhole in his head where he had stored the information. But the inside of his head was upside down and shaking violently and the contents of the other pigeonholes were coming out and getting in the way.

He stood facing the window, crouching a little to help himself breathe.

Under the bed…? No. In the chest of drawers…? No. Behind the mirror…?

It was in the bathroom. He had not hidden the bottle at all. Why would he have hidden it? There was no need to hide it.

He ran into the bathroom, his bowels loosening slightly all over again. He opened the cabinet. It was on the top shelf, behind the plasters and the interdental sticks.

He twisted the top, and kept on twisting and felt the panic coming back until he realized that it was childproof and had to be pressed down. He pressed it down and twisted and very nearly dropped it when he saw Ray in the mirror, standing behind him, only feet away, actually in the bathroom, saying, “George? Are you OK? I knocked, but you didn’t hear me.”

George came very close to swigging the entire contents of the bottle and swallowing hard in case Ray tried to stop him.

“George?” said Ray.

“What?”

“You all right?”

“Fine. Absolutely fine,” said George.

“You seemed a little worked up when you ran into the kitchen.”

“Did I?” George wanted to take the pills very badly.

“And Jamie was worried about you.”

George gently shook two tablets into the palm of his hand and swallowed them casually. Like people did with peanuts at parties.

“Said you’d not been feeling yourself.”

“They’re Valium,” said George. “I got them from the doctor. They help me feel a little calmer.”

“Good,” said Ray. “So, you’re not planning on going for another walk? Today, I mean. Before the wedding.”

“No,” said George, and forced a little laugh. Was this exchange meant to be amusing? He was unsure. “I’m sorry if I caused any trouble.”

“No problem,” said Ray.

“I’m definitely coming to the wedding,” said George. He needed to go to the lavatory quite badly.

“Good,” said Ray. “That’s good. Well, I’d better get suited and booted.”

“Thank you,” said George.

Ray left and George bolted the door and dropped his trousers and sat on the toilet and emptied his bowels and swallowed the remaining six tablets, washing them down with some slightly unpleasant water from the toothbrush mug without stopping to think about the deposit in the bottom.