At First Sight

Chapter 32

IT WAS DUSK AND THEY WERE IN THE BACKYARD OF Chick's beautiful Beverly Hills house. The pool light was shimmering, the Jacuzzi projecting a promising message. The catering company had just cleared out. Chick changed into his cool, new, blue Versace silk shirt and black Roberto Cavalli stretch jeans. He had a pair of expensive Gucci suedes on his feet. No socks, of course.

They both sat in pool chairs. The name of the game was Get Paige into the Jacuzzi. That was the end zone. But he had to go easy. Keep it simple, keep it sad. And then, if his wood hardened up just a tad, he'd make his move.

Chick worked his neck around in a circle, then stretched it side to side, front and back, making a big deal of it.

"Stiff neck?" Paige asked after a couple of minutes.

"Yeah. Maybe after you leave, I'll pop into the Jacuzzi and see if I can get it loosened up. But right now, all I want to do is talk and relax a little. I'm all wound up. If this ever really hits me full on, I'm afraid I'll go down for the count:'

Chick looked over at her, sitting with her feet tucked under her in the pool chair. Adorable. "After the initial shock of it, having to plan the funeral was a Godsend, because it kept me thinking about a zillion details:' he said sadly. "I couldn't focus on the loss. Did you ever have that with Chandler?"

"Yes:' she said softly. "Yes, I did."

"God, you guys had so much, just like me and Evelyn."

"Y'know, I don't think I ever really understood who Evelyn was:' Paige said. "The things you said today at the funeral made me realize it was too bad we didn't have a chance to know each other better."

Chick gave her a thoughtful, sad, penetrating look, while thinking Evelyn and Chandler were at the exact opposite ends of the spectrum. Chandler had stupidly given away his fortune. Evelyn had greedily spent Chick's. If Evelyn had Chandler's money, she wouldn't have set up a center for learning disabled children. She'd have set up a center for the beautification and fashionable excess of Evelyn Sheridan Best. But he didn't say any of this. Instead, he kept working his neck, pretending to loosen the stiff muscles.

"After denial comes a lot of vengeance and anger, Chick. You mentioned that at the funeral. I need to warn you, it stays for a long time and it is very destructive. I'm still seething inside, and I know it's notgood for me. After that comes the bargaining. Sort of promising you'll do better in the wake of death. It's the way we say goodbye. There's a great book on grief called Death of a Loved One. I'll loan it to you. Although, you surprise me, because you seem so in touch with yourself. You already seem to know most of it."

Chick thought this couldn't be going better. Half the shit he had been saying to her was right out of that silly book, and so far she hadn't picked up on it.

He let his face go blank.

"What is it?" she asked, noticing his expression change. "Nothing," he said, "nothing, really."

"If I can help… "

"Just worried about this horrible task I have ahead of me. Forget it." "I didn't mean to pry." She sat back, and a minute of silence followed.

"Okay, what I was thinking, really more like dreading, was going up to that damn cabin in Big Bear and sorting through all of Evelyn's things. She had a lot of family mementos up there… photo albums from before we were married, paintings, stuff her sick mother wants. I've agreed to go hunt it up and send it to her sister, who's going to give it to her mom, who's in pretty bad shape. She's in assisted living and it seems she doesn't have much longer."

"Was Evelyn's sister at the funeral?"

"No… no, Mariah couldn't come. She's taking care of their mom in Michigan. Neither of them could get here. Evelyn's father died two years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"Me, too," Chick said sadly. "He was a great guy." Chick thought Bud Sheridan was a pompous asshole who pumped out useless advice, one horrible suggestion hooked to another like bad sausage. The man had opinions on everything from the stock market to the best way to wash your car. It was hard to take instruction from a guy who got fired every eighteen months and ended up as a nonunion plumber doing illegal work for an unlicensed contractor. But that was another story. Bud was gone. Taking a well-deserved dirt nap. No need to revisit that sack of hopeless memories.

Chick leaned back and worked his neck some more.

"That neck's really bothering you, isn't it?" Paige said. She got up and moved around behind his chair and began to massage the muscles in his shoulders. She worked silently for a few minutes, her long, strong fingers kneading him professionally. Chick actually felt his johnson tingle, then quiver, then begin to rise like a mummy from the tomb. A smile spread to his lips. This was actually about to happen.

"Better?" She stopped without preamble, shook out her hands, and moved back to her chair.

Fuck, he thought. What kind of a massage is that? But what he said was, "Much. Thank you."

He stood up and turned on the Jacuzzi, making a big deal out of setting the temperature. "After you leave, I'll just soak in this thing for a while. I'm sure I'll be fine."

Then he sat back down and, while the Jacuzzi bubbled sexual innuendos beside them, got back to business. "Anyway, I have to go up to the cabin and sort through all her stuff, and honestly, Paige, I don't think I'm up to it. I think, if I try, I'll crack up."

"Then don't go," she said. "At least not for a while."

"I wish it was that easy, but I don't know how long Evelyn's mom has. The death was very hard on her. Mariah says she's been crying all day, asking for the photo albums, pictures of Evelyn from when she was a kid. There are also some of Evelyn's personal effects, her journals. She was a great writer and kept wonderful journals. Anyway, Mariah thinks getting this stuff will help. She made me a list, so I really have to go. Besides, like I said at the funeral, I'm in my bargaining stage, trying to be a better Chick. This is something worthwhile that I can do for Evelyn's mom, so I'll just gut it out… just go up there and do it."

"I still haven't cleaned out Chandler's office," she said. "It's too painful to go through it all by myself right now."

Yes, that's the whole point, Chick thought. Are you really going to let me go up there and do this morbid task alone? He worked his neck again and waited to see what would happen.

She got up and moved around the chair and again started working on his neck.

"I thought you were through," he said.

"I used to do this for Chandler. You work for about five minutes, let the blood come back in, then do it again." She flashed a smile. "You're gonna have to sit still for three of these, my friend."

He could feel her fingers working themselves deep into his shoulder muscles while his johnson began to unwind like a snake under a porch.

"I don't feel any knots," she said after a minute.

"Probably psychosomatic," he replied, "but it sure feels much better. Ahh, ahh, there, there… that's the spot… perfect?'

She kept kneading for a few minutes longer, then sat down again.

"Look, Chick, cleaning out that cabin might be an emotional mistake right now. You should call Evelyn's sister and see how long you could put this off. Even a few weeks would help:'

Chick appeared to be giving this some thought. Then he shook his head. "God, I wish I could just run from this, but I promised Mariah, so tomorrow I'm gonna drive up there and give it a shot. Wish me luck." Come on, he thought, don't just sit there.

But she sat quietly in her chair. He could see indecision flicker. "Would it help if I went with you?" she finally asked.

"Oh Paige, that is sweet of you but, my God, you've flown all the way out here. You barely knew Evelyn. You've made these days bearable just by showing up." He stopped and shook his head. "I can't ask you to do that. I'll be okay. I'll get through it somehow."

"Okay, if you think you can manage."

"It will only take a few hours," he said. "Three painful hours and it will be over?'

He watched indecision play on her face.

"I don't really have anything to do tomorrow," she finally said. "It's only a few hours, and if it would help you, then I'd be happy to go. It's the first time in months that I feel like I can actually pitch in and do something worthwhile:'

"You'd really drive up there with me?" he said, hardly believing he'dpulled this off. Once he got her up there, he would figure a way to make it last for days.

"I've got to go see Chandler's parents in the morning for breakfast, but after that I'm free.

She stood up. "I'd better get going. It's late, and you should jump in that Jacuzzi and get your neck loosened. I'll see you manana." She gathered up her things and headed toward the house.

He got up and followed. At the door, he gave her a quick hug, remembering to keep it sexless. He watched her drive away. But after she was gone, he beamed.

Man, he was good. You just can't teach this shit, he thought.