Blooms of Darkness

16

One day Mariana comes back from town drunk and angry. Her face is rumpled, and lipstick is smeared on her chin. “What happened?” asks Hugo, rising to his feet.

“People are bastards. Just to steal from Mariana. Just to take from her. Whatever she gives them is never enough. They want more and more, the leeches.”

Hugo doesn’t understand why she is angry, but he isn’t afraid. In the months he has been with her, he has learned her moods. Now he knows that in a little while she will curl up in her bed and sleep till the evening. Sleep is good for her. When she gets up, her face will be peaceful. Darling, she will ask, what did you do? And it would be as if all her anger had never been.

This time it is different. She sits on the floor and doesn’t stop muttering: “Bastards, sons of bitches.” Hugo approaches her, sits next to her, takes her hand, and brings it to his mouth. That gesture seems to move her, because she hugs him and says, “Only you love Mariana. Only you don’t want anything from her.”

For a moment it seems to him that she is about to say something else. Now Mariana is going to sleep, and you, darling, will sit next to her and guard her sleep. Mariana is quieter when you watch over her. This time she surprises him, turns to him with a wink and says, “Come and sleep with me. I don’t want to sleep alone.”

“Should I put on my pajamas?”

“No need. Just take off your shoes and your trousers.”

Mariana’s bed is soft, the covers are pleasant to the touch, and perfumed. Hugo immediately finds himself embraced in her arms. “You’re good. You’re sweet. You don’t want anything from Mariana. You pay attention to her.” Hugo feels the warmth of her body flow to him.

His mother used to sit next to him before he went to sleep. She would read to him, she would answer his questions and look in his eyes, but his legs had never touched her knees.

Now he is embraced in Mariana’s long arms and close to her body.

“How is it to be with Mariana?”

“Fine.”

“You’re really delicious.”

In a few minutes, she falls asleep. Hugo remains awake. Images of the day he came to Mariana flash before his eyes. Now it seems to him that even her drunkenness is beautiful. The lipstick smeared on her chin adds to her charm. If Mama comes, what will I say to her? The thought passes through his mind. I’ll tell her that I was cold, that the closet froze my legs. That sudden thought casts a shadow over his coziness.

The day grows darker. Mariana wakes up in a panic. “Darling, we slept too long.” She speaks to him as if to a member of her household, not someone who has slept in her bed for the first time. “Now we’ve got to get dressed. Mariana has to start working in a little while.”

Mariana quickly puts her clothes on, makes herself up. Remembering that Hugo hasn’t eaten lunch, she rushes to bring him soup. There isn’t any more soup, but she brings thin sandwiches decorated with vegetables. “I starved my darling. Now let him eat his fill,” she says, kneeling down and kissing him on the face. Mariana kisses hard, and sometimes she also bites.

“I’m sorry you have to go back into the closet. Don’t worry, Mariana won’t forget you. She knows it’s very cold there, but what can she do? She’s got to work. Without work, she has no food, she has no house, she can’t support her mother. You understand Mariana, right?” She kisses him again. Hugo doesn’t restrain himself this time. He takes her hand and kisses it.

Soon a man’s voice is heard in Mariana’s room. The voice is stern. Mariana is ordered to change the sheets, and she does it in good spirits, joking with him and saying, “You’re wrong to suspect me. I change the sheets and pillowcases after every customer. That’s the basis of all trust. My job is to give enjoyment, not unpleasantness. I’m changing them so you’ll feel good.”

The man doesn’t stay in Mariana’s room for long. When he goes, she opens the closet door, and the heat of her room comes into the cold closet. Hugo wants to get up and thank her, but he restrains himself.

The two pairs of pajamas he is wearing, the hat, and the heat that comes from Mariana’s room finally warm him, and he waits for sleep to come and gather him up. He manages to hear another man come in, who immediately announces that it is very cold outside. He has been on watch for five straight hours, and it’s a good thing that’s over.

“Did you always keep guard?” Mariana asks.

“I’ve already been on all sorts of disgusting missions. Guarding an installation isn’t the worst thing of all.”

“Poor guy.”

“A soldier isn’t a poor guy,” he corrects her. “A soldier does his duty.”

“Right,” says Mariana.

Then he tells her about funny letters that were sent from home, about the strange packages that reach the soldiers from parents and grandparents, and about a soldier who received a pair of slippers. It’s clear he needs someone to listen to him, and he has found a ready ear.

Hugo eavesdrops and eavesdrops, gets tired, and falls asleep.