Blooms of Darkness

42

Winter comes before its time. Persistent rumors say that the German army has begun to withdraw. Trains stream from the front to the rear without stopping at stations. Even from the closet, it’s possible to hear their muffled rush.

“Now it’s impossible to leave,” Mariana says. “Now we have to stay here until the fury of the rains has passed. This rain will bring hail and, finally, snow. A person with no house would freeze.” Mariana is pleased to have no contradiction between her wishes and the conditions outdoors that force them to remain in The Residence.

If it weren’t for the guard, they would all curl up in bed and sleep even more. But for some reason the guard has changed his mind and now is warning the women that the Russians will whip them to death.

“Whoever sold her body to the Germans won’t be let off. You have to run away as soon as possible.” His tone of voice has changed recently, and he sounds less authoritative. Victoria’s advice is different: “You have to flee to convents and return to God.”

“How can we return to God?” A young woman’s voice is heard, but Hugo can’t identify it.

“Bend your knees and say, ‘Lord Jesus, forgive me for all the sins I committed. From now on I swear that I won’t sin or lead others into sin.’ ”

“Should we say it now or in the convent?”

“Now.”

“It’s strange to make an oath in this place.”

“Why is it strange? The moment a person swears not to sin, God begins to listen to him.”

Later he hears one of the women hissing, “A cursed life.”

“Is married life better? My sister’s husband beats her every day.”

“Men desecrate us three times a night.”

“Today, after ten years of desecration, I’d choose marriage.”

“Now the Russians will come and whip us to death. What the Germans did to the Jews, the Russians will do to us. The Russians have no God in their hearts.”

There are no more guests. There is tension and creeping fear. The girls sit in the hall, chat, drink, and play cards. They remember the guests who were nice to them, brought them boxes of candy, and didn’t ask them to do anything disgusting.

“In a little while, the volcano will erupt,” the guard warns them.

“Let it erupt. Our life is worth zero squared,” replies one of them, and everybody laughs.

Mariana’s mood is exalted. She drinks as much as she wants and regrets the days when she denied herself the marvelous potion known as brandy. You only live once, she says.

Hugo is also content. Mariana doesn’t stop hugging him, and every few days she stands him next to the door, measures him, and says, “You’ve gotten taller. In a little while hairs will grow.” When she drinks, she is free. She shows him the bottles of perfume she has in her drawers, the jewelry, and the silk stockings she received as presents. Hugo likes to watch her when she stretches out her leg and puts on a stocking. Sometimes she stands before the mirror wearing only panties and a brassiere and says, “Isn’t it true that I haven’t lost my shape? I’m just the way I should be, not fat and not thin. A lot of women have doughy legs or a swollen belly. And now we have to teach Hugo how to love Mariana.”

“I love you,” Hugo quickly confirms.

“Wait, wait. You don’t know everything yet.”

After repeated warnings, the guard finally runs away. Madam announces that she’s now locking up The Residence. The kitchen will be closed, and everyone will have to take care of herself.

“And what will happen to us?”

“I can’t support you. I’ve already spent what I had. For more than a month, there’s been no income. I can’t feed seventeen girls. The bakery won’t give me bread, and the butcher won’t give me meat.”

“You’ll be sorry. You can’t close an institution. The German army will return and take revenge against everybody who spread rumors about its defeat and closed the institutions that served them,” one of the women warns her.

“What can I do?” she says in a different tone of voice.

“Don’t be hasty.”

“I’m not being hasty,” she replies. “I’ve been running this place for twenty years. Managing a residence like this is no small matter. I know what’s possible and what’s impossible. Now things have gone too far. The pantry is empty, and so is the cellar.” She bursts into sobs.

There is silence, and Madam withdraws to her apartment.

Later Victoria comes out of the kitchen and says in a whisper, “I have supplies for another week, if we’re sparing. After a week — God help us.”

“Thank you, Victoria, may God preserve you.” They bless her.

Mariana seems unaffected by the commotion. Since she began drinking again, her mood is steady — elevated, actually, but without any decline. Whatever happens hardly touches her. She tells Hugo about her childhood and early youth, and about the days when she was a girl in love with a boy named Andrei. He was handsome. One day his parents moved to a different village, and he forgot her. She cried a lot over him and kept looking for him. He disappeared and left her wounded.

“I won’t abandon you,” Hugo quickly confirms.

“Let’s hope not,” she says. Then she laughs and hugs him.