Blooms of Darkness

27

Mariana tried to stop drinking brandy, but without success. On a day without brandy, she confessed, her head felt as if it had been split and her body felt as if it had been raked over. Without brandy, the world was hell. Better to die.

“You have to stop drinking,” the woman with the authoritative voice coaxed her. “You’re a pretty and attractive woman, and the men like you. But they don’t like it when you’re drunk. You have to stop drinking and do what the guests ask of you. That’s our profession. That’s our livelihood.”

Mariana promised, but she didn’t keep her promise. The guests shouted at her and hit her. Hugo saw blue spots on her body, and his heart felt bitter.

“You’re the only one who understands me,” Mariana says, and hugs him. “You’re the only one who doesn’t hit me or abuse me, and you don’t call me bad names, and you don’t order me to do disgusting things.” The compliments that Mariana showers on Hugo embarrass him, but he knows that she needs some encouragement now, and he says, “You’ll get yourself out of this. You’re beautiful, and everybody loves you.”

“You’re wrong, darling. Everybody wrings me out, abuses me, and then they complain about me.”

“We’ll run away from here.” Hugo tries that stratagem.

“Where will we run to? My late mother’s house is about to collapse, and my sister stole what was in it.”

“We’ll work together in a kitchen.” Hugo utters that sentence without knowing how it could be done.

“My darling, no one would hire me. This profession is the mark of Cain not only on your forehead but on your whole self, on your whole life.”

Mariana is frightened, but Hugo, for some reason, isn’t frightened. Mariana feels that and says, “What would I do without you?”

Once she said, in a moment of distraction, “The Jews are more delicate.”

“Than who?”

“Than other people. If you thought that the Germans were polite, you’re mistaken. They fall upon a woman like wild beasts. Only the Jews approach a woman cautiously, hug her and kiss her gently, buy her a bottle of perfume, a pair of silk stockings, give her some extra cash so she can pamper herself.”

“Did you have many Jewish friends?” he asked, and he immediately regretted asking.

“Mainly students. They were attracted to me, and I was attracted to them. One student even proposed marriage. I was afraid. I said to myself, he’s educated, he’ll be a lawyer, and what about me? I’m nothing. Aside from that, non-Jews don’t marry Jews.”

“Why not?”

“Because each one believes in something different.”

“We’re not religious.”

“I know.”

One night, a warm, quiet night, angry voices are heard from Mariana’s room. Mariana swears by God and His Messiah, “Today not even a single drop of brandy entered my mouth. All day long I struggled with myself not to drink, and I didn’t.”

Mariana’s oaths are of no use. The man claims that she stinks of brandy, and he won’t lie with a stinking woman. The man’s words push her over the edge. She screams and shouts. The man slaps her face and leaves the room.

Before long the woman with the authoritative voice arrives, and without first coaxing or trying to persuade her, announces that Mariana has been fired, and that she must leave the room within two days.

Hearing that bitter news, Mariana raises her choked voice and says, “Why?”

“You know exactly why.” The woman’s voice cuts like a knife.

“I didn’t drink, I swear to you.”

“Why didn’t you change clothes? Your clothes stink.”

“I didn’t know.”

“I’m fed up with you,” the woman says, and leaves the room.

Hugo knows exactly what that means, but he sympathizes with Mariana and ignores the anger of the woman in charge. No matter, he says to himself, we’ll find a better place.

The hours pass, and Mariana doesn’t come into the closet.

Toward morning, defeated and humiliated, she opens the door and says, “They fired me.”

“You’ve suffered more than enough here.”

“I don’t know what to do.” Despite the shock, she grasps the gravity of her situation.

“I’m willing to go anywhere.”

“Darling, don’t forget that you’re a Jew.”

“Can you see it on me?”

“Not right away, but people have evil eyes, and they’ll discover it very quickly. I thought all day about what to do. It occurred to me to ask my friend Nasha, who works here, to keep her eye on you until I find a hiding place.”

“And I won’t go with you?”

“Honey, I really love you, but you can’t walk around with me in broad daylight. They’ll simply kill you. They kill Jews without mercy. Nasha is a good woman, my age. She’s different from me. She’s not excitable like I am. She always has a plan.”

“And she won’t turn me in?”

“Perish the thought. She’s a very good woman. Her grandpa was a priest.”

“I’m afraid,” Hugo says, without meaning to say it.

“Don’t be afraid. I’ll talk to Nasha. Just for a short time, until I find the right place. I swore to your mother that I would watch over you, and I’ll keep that promise under any condition. Come to me, and I’ll give you a kiss. Now you give me a kiss, harder. We’ll always be together,” she says, and then locks the closet door.