Blooms of Darkness

56

After midnight, when they’re already half frozen, they find an empty tavern whose owner agrees to let them sleep there. Mariana is drunk, and she keeps blessing the proprietor, who is not impressed by her blessings and demands payment. Mariana gives him a banknote, and he demands more. She gives him more and asks for a blanket. Hugo’s feet are as cold as ice, and Mariana rubs them briskly. In the end they wrap themselves in each other and fall asleep.

They wake up early in the morning and set out immediately. An overcast day is preferable to a moldy alcove, Mariana maintains. Fortunately they find a tree with broad branches and prepare to make a fire.

The snow is melting, and the black earth that was hidden all winter is revealed. Thin smoke rises from the chimneys atop the houses. It’s a tranquil, innocent morning. Mariana looks particularly beautiful. Her large eyes are wide open, and her long neck becomes her.

After finishing her tea, Mariana takes a few swigs from the bottle and her heart opens. “My life was ruined from the start,” she says. “I don’t want to blame my father and mother. I used to blame them and hang all the bad things that happened to me on them. Now I know, it was my youthful restlessness. I was young and beautiful, and everybody was in love with me. I didn’t know then that they were predators, that they only wanted my flesh. They taught me to drink and smoke. I was thirteen, fourteen, stunned by the money they gave me. I was sure things would go on that way all my life. I didn’t know they were poisoning me. At fourteen, I already couldn’t manage without brandy. My parents shunned me. They wouldn’t even let me into the house. ‘You’re lost,’ they told me, and I was sure that they were evil and would relent. After that — from whorehouse to whorehouse, from madam to madam. Why am I telling you all this? I’m telling you so that you’ll know that Mariana’s life was ruined from the start. Now it’s impossible to fix it.”

“Why?”

“Because a large part of my body has been ravished. The wolves ravished it. I don’t expect mercy or who knows what. The Russians say that if a woman slept with the Germans, her blood is on her head. I assume that God won’t stand by me, either. I ignored Him all those years.”

“But God is greatly merciful and forgiving.” Hugo interrupts her.

“Yes, to those who are worthy, to those who walk in His ways and do what He asks of them.”

“You love Him very much.”

“It’s a late love. For many years I rebelled against Him.”

How right she is becomes clear that very day. People attack them wherever they go. They throw stones at them, call them bad names, and sic big dogs on them. Mariana protects them from the dogs with a stick, and she curses the people loudly. They call her “servant of the Germans,” and she calls them “hypocrites” and “bastards.” They wound her neck, which heightens her anger and frees her tongue.

Now it’s evident they have to leave, and soon. Hugo bandages Mariana’s neck with a handkerchief, and they set out. “Too bad I don’t have iodine. I had a lot of it in my room, but who ever thought I’d be wounded?” she mutters to herself.

That night they walk quite a bit. Mariana is angry at herself, because she has no idea where they are. “After all, I was born in these parts. I wandered around here during my whole childhood. What’s the matter with me?”

“We’re walking toward the mountains.” Hugo tries to comfort her.

“How do you know?”

“I feel it.” He is drawn out by her words.

“We’re groping like blind people. In every corner, there’s a pitfall or a trap. Who knows where Satan is dragging us. He’s a cheat, and he’s cunning.”