Blooms of Darkness

53

The sun sinks toward the horizon, glowing like a red-hot iron. Mariana doesn’t stop marveling at the splendid sight. “If there is beauty like that, it’s a sign that God is in heaven. Only God can create colors like that. My grandma used to say, ‘God created goodness and beauty, and people only spoil what God created.’ ”

They walk on, toward houses that are scattered along the road. Mariana keeps thinking out loud. “I’m amazed at the Jews. An intelligent people, everybody agrees, yet most of them don’t believe in God. How many times did I ask your mother, ‘How is it that you don’t believe in God? After all, you see His deeds every day, every hour.’ ”

“And how did she answer you?” Hugo dares to ask.

“To her credit it must be said that she didn’t talk cleverly and say things beyond what my mind could grasp. She simply said, ‘I lost my faith while at gymnasium, and since then it hasn’t returned to me.’ I’m sorry for your mother and for your uncle Sigmund, who lost their faith in God. I liked to laugh with Sigmund, laugh with my whole heart. I thought that if we married, I could lift myself and him up from drunkenness. But every time we would talk about a wedding, he would make a dismissive gesture with his right hand, as if to say, I’ve already tried that. There’s no point to it.

“At first I thought that he didn’t want to marry me because I’m a simple woman. Later I understood that he was a lost person. I was willing to marry him as he was, to cook his meals and wash his clothes, but then the hard days came, the persecution and the ghetto, and he told me something I’ll never forget: ‘I can’t be saved any longer. Save yourself. The Jews have been condemned to death. You’re still young.’ Every time I remember that, I choke with pain. What a marvelous man, what a great soul.”

Then Mariana falls silent and walks with her head bowed, sunk within herself. Hugo doesn’t disturb her. When Mariana is silent, she’s gathering her thoughts in order to reveal them to him later. When she’s thinking, she’s connected to other worlds. Sometimes she reveals a bit to him. Once she said, “Don’t forget, there’s an upper world and a lower world. We’re mired in the lower world. If we’re good, God will save us and take us to Him up above. I have no patience for all the little acts of deceit that we have to experience here. I want Him to redeem me now. He knows how much I’ve suffered here. I’m sure He will take that into account when He comes to judge me. I’m not afraid. Whatever He does, I’ll accept with love. I feel great closeness to Him and to His holy son.”

Suddenly a man comes out of one of the houses and strides toward them. Mariana is frightened and says, “Let’s step aside.”

Hugo has noticed that people who appeared suddenly frightened her. There were people she recognized from a distance and avoided. It’s strange how many people she knows. Once she said, “I know that bastard, and also his brother, and also his cousin. I wish I didn’t know them. Every time I remember them, my body weeps. Good God, what have I done to my miserable body? I’m a criminal.”

Two days before they set out, Hugo heard Mariana say to her friends in The Residence, “There’s no sense in running away. They’ll identify us easily. If the father doesn’t, the son will.” Everybody laughed. Then he heard one of the women say, “Whores and Jews are always persecuted. There’s nothing to be done.”

Night falls, and Mariana decides to knock on the door of a meager hut. An old woman opens the door and asks, “Who are you?”

“My name is Maria. This is my son, Janek. Our house is close to the front, and we’re looking for a place to spend tonight.”

“What will you give me in return?”

“A bottle of good drink. That’s what I have.”

“Come in. I don’t want to waste the heat.”

The hut is tidy and clean. The smell of starch fills the two rooms. “Sit down,” says the old woman, and she serves them hot herbal tea. Mariana tells her that they have been on the road for days because the front is getting close to their house.

“The Russians are coming back?”

“They’re coming back.”

“Woe is me for those who were here and woe is me for those who are coming. The first are murderers, the second are heretics. God is sending us difficult trials.”

Mariana takes an ornate bottle of liqueur out of the suitcase and hands it to the old woman. The old woman grabs it and says, “A pretty bottle. Let’s hope the drink inside is worthy of the vessel that preserves it. In our times, everything is deception.”

The bed is wide and soft, and they sleep in each other’s embrace all night long. Hugo tells Mariana that the brandy in her mouth is sweet and tasty. Mariana is enthralled. In her great enthusiasm, she hugs him and says, “Kiss me anywhere you feel like it. You’re my knight. You’re better than anything I ever knew in my life.”

Afterward, he sinks into her and into a deep sleep. In his dream, people are trying to snatch Mariana away from him. He grips her with all his strength and drags her back. In the end, they both fall into a pit and are saved.