Day Of Confession

102

Bellagio. 10:50 p.m.

Elena lay in the dark, looking at the square of light that came in through the small window high on the wall above her.

They were in the convento, the friary, behind the church, which served as housing for the priests. Except for Father Renato, the short, affable priest who had gone to the truck with her, and two or three others, the rest of the clergy were away on retreat. It was a happenstance that provided her with the tiny bedroom she was in and the one next to it, where Father Daniel slept, and the similar room across the hall, where Harry was.

She still regretted her delayed return to the truck and the anxiety she knew she had caused Harry, but she'd had little choice. Father Renato had been hard to convince, and it was only when she reached her mother general by phone in Siena and he had spoken to her personally that he'd relented and gone with Elena, waiting with the wheelchair in the church's shadow until the police on motorcycles had passed.

Then they'd brought Father Daniel in, given him tea and rice pudding, and put him to bed. Afterward Father Renato had taken them to the convento's tiny kitchen and served them a pasta-and-chicken dish left over from the evening meal. And then he had shown them the rooms where they could sleep and gone back to his room, warning them that tomorrow the priests would return and that they would have to leave before they did.

'Leave…' Elena thought, her eyes still on the square of light high on the ceiling above her. 'To go where?'

The thought, while deliberate, triggered something else – her own sense of freedom, or, rather, her lack of it. The turning point had come when she'd broken down so emotionally in the water cave, and Harry had left his brother to come to her and hold her and comfort her even though she knew he was exhausted and must have been at wits' end himself. A second moment had been even more pointed, when he'd returned with the truck and seen her standing naked outside the cave. It was something that, as she pictured it in her mind – the way he so quickly apologized and turned and went back into the cave – became no longer embarrassing but erotic. She wondered, if she were not a nun, whether, despite the seriousness and urgency of their situation, he might have let his eyes linger a little longer – after all, she was still young and had what she thought was a good figure.

'Nothing is wrong, Mr Addison… Would it be all right if I came in?'

Harry hesitated, puzzled. 'Yes, of course…'

He saw the door open a little more, and then the outline of her figure against the diminished light of the hallway outside, and the door closed behind her.

'I'm sorry to wake you.'

'It's all right…'

There was just enough light for Harry to sec her come toward the bed. She was wearing her habit but was barefoot, and seemed excited and nervous at the same time.

'Please sit down,' he said, and indicated the edge of the bed.

Elena looked at the bed and then quickly back to Harry.

'I would prefer to stand, Mr Addison.'

'Harry,' he said.

'Harry…' Still nervous, Elena smiled.

'What is it?

'I – I have come to a decision that I wanted to share with you…'

Harry nodded, still unsure what was happening.

'I – told you shortly after we met that God had given me a job to do in caring for your brother.'

'Yes.'

'Well, when it is done, I-' Elena stopped and Harry saw her dig down and find conviction. 'I plan to petition my superiors for dispensation of my vows and to leave the convent.'

For a long moment Harry said nothing. Finally he did. 'Are you asking my opinion?'

'No, I'm stating a fact.'

'Elena-' Harry said gently, 'maybe before you make a final decision you should realize that after what we've been through, none of us are thinking very clearly.'

'I'm aware of that. I'm also aware that what we've gone through has helped clarify thoughts and feelings I've had for some time. Before any of this happened… Most simply, I want to be with a man – and to love him in every way, and to have him love me in that way, too.'

Harry studied her carefully, watched her breathe. Even in the dim light he could see the sparkle and determination in her eyes. 'That's a very personal thing…'

Elena said nothing. Harry smiled. 'Maybe what I don't understand is why you're telling me.'

'Because I don't know what might happen tomorrow, and I want to have told someone who would understand… and because I wanted to tell you, Harry.' Elena looked at him for a long moment, her eyes intent on his.

'Good night and God bless,' she whispered finally and turned and left.

Harry watched her cross the room in the dark, had just a glimpse of her as she opened the door and went out. She'd come to share something deeply personal with him, why exactly, he still wasn't sure. All he did know was that he'd never met anyone quite like her, but he also knew that if he was being drawn to her, this was not the time. The last thing they needed now was that kind of distraction. It was far too disruptive and, therefore, much too dangerous.