Lilly lived in a condominium apartment on the fifth floor in a vast sprawl of condominium apartments just off Route 1A behind a shopping mall near the Salem line. It was five minutes past seven when Jesse arrived at her door carrying a bottle of Iron Horse champagne. She was wearing faded blue jeans, carefully pressed, a white silk blouse with a stand-up collar, and short black boots with thick heels. The jeans were snug. The blouse was open at the neck and a gold chain showed against her light tan.
"Do you have a warrant?" Lilly said.
"No," Jesse said. "But I've got a bottle of champagne."
Lilly smiled.
"That will do," she said. "Come on in."
The apartment had white walls and blond furniture and sand-colored carpeting. There were sliders at the end of the living room that opened onto a small balcony that allowed you to look down at the back side of the shopping mall. The furniture was appropriate without being interesting.
"Don't judge me by my home," Lilly said. "I bought it after my second divorce, furniture and all, and moved in until I found something a little better."
"And?"
"And I haven't gotten around to looking."
"Too busy?" Jesse said.
"Do I have the right to an attorney?" Lilly said.
"Sorry. Sometimes I think I've asked too many questions for too long a time."
Lilly held out the champagne bottle.
"Shall we begin by drinking this?" she said.
Jesse hesitated. Club soda would be the right thing to drink. He took the bottle.
"We'd be fools not to," he said.
She got an ice bucket and glasses and set them on the glass-top coffee table. Jesse uncorked the wine and poured some in each glass. They clinked glasses and held each other's look for a moment and drank.
"I love champagne," Lilly said.
Jesse nodded.
"Actually," Lilly said, "I love having someone to drink it with."
"Lucky I stopped by," Jesse said.
"It wasn't luck. I invited you for dinner."
"That's right."
They drank. Sip, Jesse told himself. Sip.
"I guess, if I had to be completely honest…" Lilly said.
"No need for that," Jesse said.
"I guess I'm still here for sort of the same reason. I guess I was hoping for someone to come along who would look for a new place with me."
"Would that include either ex-husband?"
"No," Lilly said. "It would not."
They were quiet, both thinking of other lives they had lived, other nights in twosomes with champagne. He could feel the charge between them. Simultaneous release and tension. Since he'd first been in her office he'd known it would come to this, and now it had. He felt the relaxation of arrival. Soon he'd see her naked. Soon there would be no tension.
"Animosity?" Jesse said.
"With my exes? Not the first one. He's nice. He lives in Chicago now, works as a construction supervisor for a big company. I see him occasionally when he comes to Boston."
"So what happened?"
"I don't know, exactly. You go along thinking it's forever, then one day it isn't. One day he didn't want to be married to me, and I didn't want to be married to him."
"Somebody else?"
"No. It was more that we hoped for someone else. Or something else. Our marriage just wasn't enough."
"How about number two?" Jesse said.
"The sonovabitch," Lilly said, and pretended to spit.
"Another woman?"
"Another dozen," Lilly said.
"Animosity," Jesse said.
"A lot," Lilly said.
"How long have you been single?" Jesse said.
"Five years."
"You mind living alone?"
"Yes."
They were quiet again.
"You?" Lilly said.
"No," Jesse said. "I don't mind living alone… I mind being alone. And I mind Jenn not being alone."
"You're pretty hooked into Jenn," Lilly said.
"I am."
"How long have you been divorced?"
"Four years."
"I'm not sure that's very good for you," Lilly said.
"Probably not," Jesse said.
"Have you ever seen a shrink?"
"No."
"Maybe you should. It helps."
"Maybe I should," Jesse said.
"But?"
"My father was a cop," Jesse said. "My whole life I been playing ball, or I been a cop."
"So?"
"Seeing a psychiatrist is not something cops and ballplayers are supposed to do."
"What are they supposed to do?"
Jesse paused, thinking about it.
"They're supposed to hang in."
"Forever?"
"As needed," Jesse said.
Lilly looked at him thoughtfully. "Wow," she said. "You need a shrink worse than I thought."
"Jenn says so, too."
"She seeing one?"
"Yes."
"Well," Lilly said. "You'll go when you're ready."
Jesse didn't say anything. Maybe he would. But if he did, it would start with the provision that he wasn't going to stop loving Jenn. The champagne was gone so quickly. You have to concentrate every minute, Jesse thought.
"I have made us a lovely supper," Lilly said.
"I could use one," Jesse said.
"But if we eat it first," Lilly said, "we'll both be thinking about afterwards and how that's going to go, and won't be able to enjoy the dinner as we should."
"That is a problem," Jesse said.
"So I think we should have the afterwards first. Then we'd be free to concentrate on the lovely supper."
"Sure," Jesse said.
Lilly put down her champagne glass and stood.
"Follow me," she said, and walked past the kitchen counter toward her bedroom.
He felt the familiar smooth curve as he ran his hand up her thigh. The familiar soft slope of her belly. He had done this often. This time, like each time, it was brand-new. He could hear her breathing, felt the pressure of her hips, she was skillful and fully engaged. The part of him that was not making love smiled. Didn't matter if she was skillful. His father used to say, The worst piece of ass I ever had was excellent. There was always that part. The one that wasn't engaged, whether it was lovemaking or fighting. There was always the amused, nonjudgmental other observing it. He wondered if she had an other.
Finally, dressed and relaxed, they sat at her glass-top dining table and ate in silence in the gently moving light of the candles Lilly had lighted. There was a bottle of white wine at hand in an ice bucket.
"That's your real hair color," he said.
"My hair turned silver when I was twenty-six," Lilly said.
She poured some white wine into Jesse's glass. It's all right. I'm nowhere near drunk. He drank some. Nice wine. He ate some of the supper she had served them.
"What am I eating?" Jesse said.
"Lobster meat in a light cream sauce," Lilly said. "With sherry, pearl onions and mushrooms and different-colored sweet peppers, over basmati rice."
"You can cook."
Lilly smiled at him.
"Second best thing I do," she said.
Jesse nodded several times and drank some wine.