Doctor Zhivago

Part One

THE FIVE O’CLOCK EXPRESS

1

They walked and walked and sang “Memory Eternal,”¹ and whenever they stopped, the singing seemed to be carried on by their feet, the horses, the gusts of wind.

Passersby made way for the cortège, counted the wreaths, crossed themselves. The curious joined the procession, asked: “Who’s being buried?” “Zhivago,” came the answer. “So that’s it. Now I see.” “Not him. Her.” “It’s all the same. God rest her soul. A rich funeral.”

The last minutes flashed by, numbered, irrevocable. “The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof; the world, and those who dwell therein.” The priest, tracing a cross, threw a handful of earth onto Marya Nikolaevna. They sang “With the souls of the righteous.” A terrible bustle began. The coffin was closed, nailed shut, lowered in. A rain of clods drummed down as four shovels hastily filled the grave. Over it a small mound rose. A ten-year-old boy climbed onto it.

Only in the state of torpor and insensibility that usually comes at the end of a big funeral could it have seemed that the boy wanted to speak over his mother’s grave.

He raised his head and looked around from that height at the autumn wastes and the domes of the monastery with an absent gaze. His snub-nosed face became distorted. His neck stretched out. If a wolf cub had raised his head with such a movement, it would have been clear that he was about to howl. Covering his face with his hands, the boy burst into sobs. A cloud flying towards him began to lash his hands and face with the wet whips of a cold downpour. A man in black, with narrow, tight-fitting, gathered sleeves, approached the grave. This was the deceased woman’s brother and the weeping boy’s uncle, Nikolai Nikolaevich Vedenyapin, a priest defrocked at his own request. He went up to the boy and led him out of the cemetery.

2

They spent the night in one of the monastery guest rooms, allotted to the uncle as an old acquaintance. It was the eve of the Protection.² The next day he and his uncle were to go far to the south, to one of the provincial capitals on the Volga, where Father Nikolai worked for a publisher who brought out a local progressive newspaper. The train tickets had been bought, the luggage was tied up and standing in the cell. From the nearby station the wind carried the plaintive whistling of engines maneuvering in the distance.

Towards evening it turned very cold. The two ground-level windows gave onto the corner of an unsightly kitchen garden surrounded by yellow acacia bushes, onto the frozen puddles of the road going past, and onto the end of the cemetery where Marya Nikolaevna had been buried that afternoon. The kitchen garden was empty, except for a few moiré patches of cabbage, blue from the cold. When the wind gusted, the leafless acacia bushes thrashed about as if possessed and flattened themselves to the road.

During the night Yura was awakened by a tapping at the window. The dark cell was supernaturally lit up by a fluttering white light. In just his nightshirt, Yura ran to the window and pressed his face to the cold glass.

Beyond the window there was no road, no cemetery, no kitchen garden. A blizzard was raging outside; the air was smoky with snow. One might have thought the storm noticed Yura and, knowing how frightening it was, reveled in the impression it made on him. It whistled and howled and tried in every way possible to attract Yura’s attention. From the sky endless skeins of white cloth, turn after turn, fell on the earth, covering it in a winding sheet. The blizzard was alone in the world; nothing rivaled it.

Yura’s first impulse, when he got down from the windowsill, was to get dressed and run outside to start doing something. He was afraid now that the monastery cabbage would be buried and never dug out, now that mama would be snowed under and would be unable to resist going still deeper and further away from him into the ground.

Again it ended in tears. His uncle woke up, spoke to him of Christ and comforted him, then yawned, went to the window, and fell to thinking. They began to dress. It was getting light.

3

While his mother was alive, Yura did not know that his father had abandoned them long ago, had gone around various towns in Siberia and abroad, carousing and debauching, and that he had long ago squandered and thrown to the winds the millions of their fortune. Yura was always told that he was in Petersburg or at some fair, most often the one in Irbit.

But then his mother, who had always been sickly, turned out to have consumption. She began going for treatment to the south of France or to northern Italy, where Yura twice accompanied her. Thus, in disorder and amidst perpetual riddles, Yura spent his childhood, often in the hands of strangers, who changed all the time. He became used to these changes, and in this situation of eternal incoherence his father’s absence did not surprise him.

As a little boy, he had still caught that time when the name he bore was applied to a host of different things. There was the Zhivago factory, the Zhivago bank, the Zhivago buildings, a way of tying and pinning a necktie with a Zhivago tiepin, and even some sweet, round-shaped cake, a sort of baba au rhum, called a Zhivago, and at one time in Moscow you could shout to a cabby: “To Zhivago!” just like “To the devil’s backyard!” and he would carry you off in his sleigh to a fairy-tale kingdom. A quiet park surrounded you. Crows landed on the hanging fir branches, shaking down hoarfrost. Their cawing carried, loud as the cracking of a tree limb. From the new buildings beyond the clearing, purebred dogs came running across the road. Lights were lit there. Evening was falling.

Suddenly it all flew to pieces. They were poor.

4

In the summer of 1903, Yura and his uncle were riding in a tarantass and pair over the fields to Duplyanka, the estate of Kologrivov, the silk manufacturer and great patron of the arts, to see Ivan Ivanovich Voskoboinikov, a pedagogue and popularizer of useful knowledge.

It was the feast of the Kazan Mother of God,³ the thick of the wheat harvest. Either because it was lunchtime or on account of the feast day, there was not a soul in the fields. The sun scorched the partly reaped strips like the half-shaven napes of prisoners. Birds circled over the fields. Its ears drooping, the wheat drew itself up straight in the total stillness or stood in shocks far off the road, where, if you stared long enough, it acquired the look of moving figures, as if land surveyors were walking along the edge of the horizon and taking notes.

“And these,” Nikolai Nikolaevich asked Pavel, a handyman and watchman at the publishing house, who was sitting sideways on the box, stooping and crossing his legs, as a sign that he was not a regular coachman and driving was not his calling, “are these the landowner’s or the peasants’?”

“Them’s the master’s,” Pavel replied, lighting up, “and them there,” having lighted up and inhaled, he jabbed with the butt of the whip handle towards the other side and said after a long pause, “them there’s ours. Gone to sleep, eh?” he shouted at the horses every so often, glancing at their tails and rumps out of the corner of his eye, like an engineer watching a pressure gauge.

But the horses pulled like all horses in the world; that is, the shaft horse ran with the innate directness of an artless nature, while the outrunner seemed to the uncomprehending to be an arrant idler, who only knew how to arch its neck like a swan and do a squatting dance to the jingling of the harness bells, which its own leaps set going.

Nikolai Nikolaevich was bringing Voskoboinikov the proofs of his little book on the land question, which, in view of increased pressure from the censorship, the publisher had asked him to revise.

“Folk are acting up in the district,” said Nikolai Nikolaevich. “In the Pankovo area they cut a merchant’s throat and a zemstvo man⁴ had his stud burned down. What do you think of that? What are they saying in your village?”

But it turned out that Pavel took an even darker view of things than the censor who was restraining Voskoboinikov’s agrarian passions.

“What’re they saying? Folk got free and easy. Spoiled, they say. Can you do that with our kind? Give our muzhiks their head, they’ll throttle each other, it’s God’s truth. Gone to sleep, eh?”

This was the uncle and nephew’s second trip to Duplyanka. Yura thought he remembered the way, and each time the fields spread out wide, with woods embracing them in front and behind in a narrow border, it seemed to Yura that he recognized the place where the road should turn right, and at the turn there would appear and after a moment vanish the seven-mile panorama of Kologrivovo, with the river glistening in the distance and the railroad running beyond it. But he kept being mistaken. Fields were succeeded by fields. Again and again they were embraced by woods. The succession of these open spaces tuned you to a vast scale. You wanted to dream and think about the future.

Not one of the books that were later to make Nikolai Nikolaevich famous had yet been written. But his thoughts were already defined. He did not know how near his hour was.

Soon he was to appear among the representatives of the literature of that time, university professors and philosophers of the revolution—this man who had thought over all their themes and who, apart from terminology, had nothing in common with them. The whole crowd of them held to some sort of dogma and contented themselves with words and appearances, but Father Nikolai was a priest who had gone through Tolstoyism and revolution⁵ and kept going further all the time. He thirsted for a wingedly material thought, which would trace an impartially distinct path in its movement and would change something in the world for the better, and which would be noticeable even to a child or an ignoramus, like a flash of lightning or a roll of thunder. He thirsted for the new.

Yura felt good with his uncle. He resembled his mother. He was a free spirit, as she had been, with no prejudice against anything inhabitual. Like her, he had an aristocratic feeling of equality with all that lived. He understood everything at first glance, just as she had, and was able to express his thoughts in the form in which they came to him at the first moment, while they were alive and had not lost their meaning.

Yura was glad that his uncle was taking him to Duplyanka. It was very beautiful there, and the picturesqueness of the place also reminded him of his mother, who had loved nature and had often taken him on walks with her. Besides that, Yura was pleased that he would again meet Nika Dudorov, a high school boy who lived at Voskoboinikov’s and probably despised him for being two years younger, and who, when greeting him, pulled his hand down hard and bowed his head so low that the hair fell over his forehead, covering half his face.

5

“The vital nerve of the problem of pauperism,” Nikolai Nikolaevich read from the corrected manuscript.

“I think it would be better to say ‘essence,’ ” Ivan Ivanovich said, and introduced the required correction into the proofs.

They were working in the semidarkness of the glassed-in terrace. The eye could make out watering cans and gardening tools lying around in disorder. A raincoat was thrown over the back of a broken chair. In a corner stood rubber hip boots with dry mud stuck to them, their tops hanging down to the floor.

“Meanwhile, the statistics of deaths and births show …” Nikolai Nikolaevich dictated.

“We need to put in ‘for the year under review,’ ” Ivan Ivanovich said, and wrote it in.

The terrace was slightly drafty. Pieces of granite lay on the pages of the brochure so that they would not fly away.

When they finished, Nikolai Nikolaevich hurried to go home.

“There’s a storm coming. We must be on our way.”

“Don’t even think of it. I won’t let you. We’ll have tea now.”

“I absolutely must be in town by evening.”

“Nothing doing. I won’t hear of it.”

The fumes of the lighted samovar came drifting from the garden, drowning the scent of nicotiana and heliotrope. Sour cream, berries, and cheesecakes were brought there from the cottage. Suddenly word came that Pavel had gone to bathe in the river and taken the horses with him for a bath. Nikolai Nikolaevich had to give in.

“Let’s go to the bluff and sit on a bench while they set out tea,” Ivan Ivanovich suggested.

Ivan Ivanovich, by right of friendship with the rich Kologrivov, occupied two rooms in the steward’s cottage. This little house with its adjoining garden stood in a dark, neglected part of the park with an old semicircular driveway. The driveway was thickly overgrown with grass. There was no movement on it now, and it was used only for hauling dirt and construction trash to the ravine, which served as a dry dump site. A man of progressive ideas and a millionaire who sympathized with revolution, Kologrivov himself was presently abroad with his wife. Only his daughters Nadya and Lipa were living on the estate, with their governess and a small staff of servants.

The steward’s little garden was set off from the rest of the park, with its ponds and lawns and manor house, by a thick hedge of black viburnum. Ivan Ivanovich and Nikolai Nikolaevich skirted this growth from outside, and, as they walked, the sparrows that swarmed in the viburnum flew out in identical flocks at identical intervals. This filled the hedge with a monotonous noise, as if water were flowing along it through a pipe ahead of Ivan Ivanovich and Nikolai Nikolaevich.

They walked past the greenhouse, the gardener’s quarters, and some stone ruins of unknown purpose. Their conversation got on to the new young forces in science and literature.

“You come across talented people,” said Nikolai Nikolaevich. “But now various circles and associations are the fashion. Every herd is a refuge for giftlessness, whether it’s a faith in Soloviev,⁶ or Kant, or Marx. Only the solitary seek the truth, and they break with all those who don’t love it sufficiently. Is there anything in the world that merits faithfulness? Such things are very few. I think we must be faithful to immortality, that other, slightly stronger name for life. We must keep faith in immortality, we must be faithful to Christ! Ah, you’re wincing, poor fellow. Again you haven’t understood a thing.”

“M-m-yes,” grunted Ivan Ivanovich, a thin, towheaded, mercurial man, with a malicious little beard that made him look like an American of Lincoln’s time (he kept gathering it in his hand and catching the tip of it in his lips). “I, of course, say nothing. You understand—I look at these things quite differently. Ah, by the way. Tell me how they defrocked you. I’ve long been meaning to ask. I bet you were scared. Did they anathematize you? Eh?”

“Why change the subject? Though, anyhow, why not? Anathematize? No, these days they do without cursing. There was some unpleasantness; it had its consequences. For instance, I can’t hold a government job for a long time. They won’t allow me in the capitals.⁷ But that’s all rubbish. Let’s go back to what we were talking about. I said we must be faithful to Christ. I’ll explain at once. You don’t understand that one can be an atheist, one can not know whether God exists or why, and at the same time know that man does not live in nature but in history, and that in present-day understanding it was founded by Christ, that its foundation is the Gospel. And what is history? It is the setting in motion of centuries of work at the gradual unriddling of death and its eventual overcoming. Hence the discovery of mathematical infinity and electromagnetic waves, hence the writing of symphonies. It is impossible to move on in that direction without a certain uplift. These discoveries call for spiritual equipment. The grounds for it are contained in the Gospel. They are these. First, love of one’s neighbor, that highest form of living energy, overflowing man’s heart and demanding to be let out and spent, and then the main component parts of modern man, without which he is unthinkable—namely, the idea of the free person and the idea of life as sacrifice. Bear in mind that this is still extremely new. The ancients did not have history in this sense. Then there was the sanguinary swinishness of the cruel, pockmarked Caligulas, who did not suspect how giftless all oppressors are. They had the boastful, dead eternity of bronze monuments and marble columns. Ages and generations breathed freely only after Christ. Only after him did life in posterity begin, and man now dies not by some fence in the street, but in his own history, in the heat of work devoted to the overcoming of death, dies devoted to that theme himself. Ouf, I’m all in a sweat, as they say. But you can’t even make a dent in him!”

“Metaphysics, old boy. It’s forbidden me by my doctors; my stomach can’t digest it.”

“Well, God help you. Let’s drop it. Lucky man! What a view you have from here—I can’t stop admiring it! And he lives and doesn’t feel it.”

It was painful to look at the river. It gleamed in the sun, curving in and out like a sheet of iron. Suddenly it wrinkled up. A heavy ferry with horses, carts, peasant women and men set out from this bank to the other.

“Just think, it’s only a little past five,” said Ivan Ivanovich. “See, there’s the express from Syzran. It passes here at a little after five.”

Far across the plain, a clean little yellow and blue train, greatly diminished by the distance, rolled from right to left. Suddenly they noticed that it had stopped. White puffs of smoke rose up from the engine. Shortly afterwards came its alarmed whistling.

“Strange,” said Voskoboinikov. “Something’s wrong. It has no reason to stop there in the marsh. Something’s happened. Let’s go and have tea.”

6

Nika was not in the garden, nor in the house. Yura guessed that he was hiding from them because he was bored with them and Yura was no match for him. His uncle and Ivan Ivanovich went to work on the terrace, leaving Yura to loiter aimlessly about the house.

There was a wonderful enchantment about the place! At every moment you could hear the pure, three-note whistling of orioles, with intervals of waiting, so that the moist, drawn-out, flutelike sound could fully saturate the surroundings. The stagnant scent of flowers wandering in the air was nailed down motionless to the flowerbeds by the heat. How reminiscent it was of Antibes and Bordighera! Yura kept turning right and left. Over the lawns in an auditory hallucination hung the phantom of his mother’s voice; it sounded for him in the melodious turns of the birds and the buzzing of the bees. Yura kept being startled; time and again it seemed to him that his mother was hallooing him and calling him somewhere.

He went to the ravine and began to climb down. He climbed down from the sparse and clean woods that covered the top of the ravine to the alder bushes that spread over its bottom.

Here there was damp darkness, windfall and carrion; there were few flowers, and the jointed stalks of horsetail looked like rods and staffs with Egyptian ornaments, as in his illustrated Holy Scriptures.

Yura felt more and more sad. He wanted to cry. He fell to his knees and dissolved in tears.

“Angel of God, my holy protector,” Yura prayed, “set my mind firmly on the true path and tell dear mama that it’s good for me here, so that she doesn’t worry. If there is life after death, Lord, place mama in paradise, where the faces of the saints and the righteous shine like stars. Mama was so good, it can’t be that she was a sinner, have mercy on her, Lord, make it so that she doesn’t suffer. Mama!”—in heartrending anguish he called out to her in heaven as a newly canonized saint, and suddenly could not bear it, fell to the ground, and lost consciousness.

He did not lie oblivious for long. When he came to, he heard his uncle calling him from above. He answered and started to climb up. Suddenly he remembered that he had not prayed for his missing father, as Marya Nikolaevna had taught him to do.

But he felt so good after fainting that he did not want to part with this feeling of lightness and was afraid to lose it. And he thought there would be nothing terrible if he prayed for his father some other time.

“He’ll wait. He’ll be patient,” he all but thought. Yura did not remember him at all.

7

On the train, riding in a second-class compartment with his father, the attorney Gordon from Orenburg, sat the second-year student Misha Gordon, an eleven-year-old boy with a thoughtful face and big dark eyes. The father was moving to work in Moscow, the boy had been transferred to a Moscow school. His mother and sisters had long been there, busy with the cares of readying the apartment.

The boy and his father had been on the train for three days.

Past them in clouds of hot dust, bleached as with lime by the sun, flew Russia, fields and steppes, towns and villages. Wagon trains stretched along the roads, turning off cumbersomely to the crossings, and from the furiously speeding train it seemed that the wagons were standing still and the horses were raising and lowering their legs in place.

At big stations the passengers rushed like mad to the buffet, and the setting sun behind the trees of the station garden shone on their legs and the wheels of the cars.

Separately, all the movements of the world were calculatedly sober, but as a sum total they were unconsciously drunk with the general current of life that united them. People toiled and bustled, set in motion by the mechanism of their own cares. But the mechanisms would not have worked if their chief regulator had not been a sense of supreme and fundamental carefreeness. This carefreeness came from a sense of the cohesion of human existences, a confidence in their passing from one into another, a sense of happiness owing to the fact that everything that happens takes place not only on earth, in which the dead are buried, but somewhere else, in what some call the Kingdom of God, others history, and still others something else again.

To this rule the boy was a bitter and painful exception. His mainspring remained a sense of care, and no feeling of unconcern lightened or ennobled it. He knew he had this inherited trait and with self-conscious alertness caught signs of it in himself. It upset him. Its presence humiliated him.

For as long as he could remember, he had never ceased to marvel at how, with the same arms and legs and a common language and habits, one could be not like everyone else, and besides that, be someone who was liked by few, someone who was not loved. He could not understand a situation in which, if you were worse than others, you could not make an effort to correct yourself and become better. What did it mean to be a Jew? Why was there such a thing? What could reward or justify this unarmed challenge that brought nothing but grief?

When he turned to his father for an answer, he said that his starting points were absurd and one could not reason that way, but he did not offer anything instead that would attract Misha by its profound meaning and oblige him to bow silently before the irrevocable.

And, making an exception for his father and mother, Misha gradually became filled with scorn for adults, who had cooked a pudding they were unable to eat. He was convinced that when he grew up, he would untangle it all.

Now, too, no one would dare to say that his father had acted wrongly in rushing after that madman when he ran out onto the platform, and that there was no need to stop the train, when, powerfully shoving Grigory Osipovich aside and throwing open the door of the car, the man had hurled himself headlong off the speeding express onto the embankment, as a diver throws himself off the deck of a bathing house into the water.

But since the brake handle had been turned not by just anyone, but precisely by Grigory Osipovich, it came out that the train went on standing there so unaccountably long thanks to them.

No one really knew the cause of the delay. Some said that the sudden stop had damaged the air brakes, others that the train was standing on a steep slope and the engine could not get up it without momentum. A third opinion spread that, since the man who had killed himself was an eminent person, his attorney, who was traveling with him on the train, had demanded that witnesses be summoned from the nearest station, Kologrivovka, to draw up a report. That was why the assistant engineer had climbed the telephone pole. The handcar must already be on its way.

In the car there was a bit of a whiff from the toilets, which they tried to ward off with eau de cologne, and it smelled of roast chicken gone slightly bad, wrapped in dirty greased paper. The graying Petersburg ladies, powdering themselves as before, wiping their palms with handkerchiefs, and talking in chesty, rasping voices, all turned into jet-black Gypsy women from the combination of engine soot and greasy cosmetics. As they passed by the Gordons’ compartment, wrapping the corners of their shoulders in shawls and turning the narrowness of the corridor into a source of fresh coquetry, it seemed to Misha that they hissed, or, judging by their compressed lips, meant to hiss: “Ah, just imagine, such sensitivity! We’re special! We’re intelligentsia! We simply can’t!”

The body of the suicide lay on the grass by the embankment. A streak of dried blood made a sharp black mark across the forehead and eyes of the broken man, as if crossing out his face. The blood seemed not to be his blood, flowing from him, but a stuck-on, extraneous addition, a plaster, or a spatter of dried mud, or a wet birch leaf.

The little bunch of curious and sympathizing people around the body kept changing all the time. Over him, frowning, expressionless, stood his friend and compartment companion, a stout and arrogant lawyer, a purebred animal in a sweat-soaked shirt. He was weary from the heat and fanned himself with a soft hat. To all questions, he replied ungraciously through his teeth, shrugging and without even turning: “An alcoholic. Can’t you understand? The most typical consequence of delirium tremens.”

A thin woman in a woollen dress and lace fichu approached the body two or three times. This was old Tiverzina, a widow and the mother of two engineers, who was traveling free in third class with her two daughters-in-law on a company pass. The quiet women, their kerchiefs drawn low, silently followed behind her, like two nuns behind their mother superior. The group inspired respect. People made way for them.

Tiverzina’s husband had been burned alive in a railroad accident. She stopped a few steps from the corpse, so that she could see it through the crowd, and sighed as if making the comparison. “To each as it’s set down at birth,” she seemed to say. “Some die by God’s will, but this one, see what a notion took him—from rich living and a fuddled brain.”

All the passengers on the train came in turn to see the body and went back to their cars only for fear that something might be stolen from them.

When they jumped down on the tracks, stretched their limbs, picked flowers, and took a little run, they all had the feeling that the place had just emerged only thanks to the stop, and that the swampy meadow with its knolls, the wide river, with a beautiful house and a church on the high bank opposite, would not be there had it not been for the accident that had taken place.

Even the sun, which also seemed like a local accessory, shone upon the scene by the rails with an evening shyness, approaching as if timorously, as a cow from the herd grazing nearby would if it were to come to the railway and start looking at the people.

Misha was shaken by all that had happened and for the first moments wept from pity and fright. In the course of the long journey the suicide had come to their compartment several times and had sat talking for hours with Misha’s father. He had said that his soul felt relaxed in the morally pure quiet and comprehension of their world, and he had questioned Grigory Osipovich about various legal subtleties and cavils to do with promissory notes and donations, bankruptcies and frauds. “Ah, is that so?” he kept being surprised at Gordon’s explanations. “You dispose of a much more merciful set of statutes. My attorney has different information. He takes a much darker view of these things.”

Each time this nervous man calmed down, his lawyer and compartment companion came from first class and dragged him off to drink champagne in the dining car. This was the stout, insolent, clean-shaven fop of an attorney who now stood over the body, not surprised at anything in the world. It was impossible to rid oneself of the feeling that his client’s constant agitation had somehow played into his hands.

The father said that this was a well-known rich man, kindly and wayward, already half out of his mind. Unembarrassed by Misha’s presence, he had told of his son, the same age as Misha, and of his late wife, and had then gone on to his second family, which he had also abandoned. Then he remembered something new, paled with terror, and began talking nonsense and forgetting himself.

Towards Misha he showed an inexplicable tenderness, probably reflected, and perhaps not destined for him. He kept giving him things, for which he got out at the biggest stations and went to the first-class waiting rooms, where there were book stalls and they sold games and local curiosities.

He drank incessantly and complained that he had not slept for three months and, when he sobered up even for a short time, suffered torments of which a normal man could have no notion.

A moment before the end he rushed to their compartment, seized Grigory Osipovich by the hand, wanted to say something but could not, and, rushing out to the platform, threw himself from the train.

Misha was examining a small collection of minerals from the Urals in a wooden box—the dead man’s last gift. Suddenly everything around began to stir. A handcar had reached the train by a different track. From it jumped a coroner in a visored cap with a cockade, a doctor, and two policemen. Cold, businesslike voices were heard. Questions were asked, something was written down. Conductors and policemen clumsily dragged the body up the embankment, losing their footing in the gravel and sliding down all the time. Some peasant woman began to wail. The public was asked to go back to the cars and the whistle sounded. The train set off.

8

“Again this holy oil!” Nika thought spitefully and rushed about the room. The voices of the guests were coming closer. Retreat was cut off. There were two beds in the room, Voskoboinikov’s and his own. Without thinking twice, Nika crawled under the second one.

He heard them looking and calling for him in the other rooms, surprised at his disappearance. Then they came into the bedroom.

“Well, what can we do,” said Vedenyapin. “Go for a walk, Yura; maybe your friend will turn up later and you can play.”

They talked for a while about the university unrest in Petersburg and Moscow, keeping Nika for some twenty minutes in his stupid, humiliating concealment. Finally they went to the terrace. Nika quietly opened the window, jumped out of it, and went to the park.

He was not himself today and had not slept the previous night. He was going on fourteen. He was sick of being little. All night he had not slept and at dawn he left the cottage. The sun was rising, and the ground in the park was covered with the long, dewy, openwork shade of trees. The shade was not black, but of a dark gray color, like wet felt. The stupefying fragrance of morning seemed to come precisely from that damp shade on the ground, with its elongated light spots like a young girl’s fingers.

Suddenly a silvery little stream of mercury, just like the dewdrops on the grass, flowed a few steps away from him. The little stream flowed, flowed, not soaking into the ground. Then, with an unexpectedly abrupt movement, it darted to one side and vanished. It was a grass snake. Nika shuddered.

He was a strange boy. In a state of excitement, he talked to himself out loud. He imitated his mother in his predilection for lofty matters and paradoxes.

“How good it is in this world!” he thought. “But why does it always come out so painful? God exists, of course. But if He exists, then He—is me. I’m going to order it,” he thought, glancing at an aspen all seized with trembling from bottom to top (its wet, shimmering leaves seemed cut from tin), “I’m going to command it,” and, in an insane exceeding of his strength, he did not whisper but with all his being, with all his flesh and blood, desired and thought: “Be still!” and the tree at once obediently froze in immobility. Nika laughed for joy and ran off to swim in the river.

His father, the terrorist Dementy Dudorov, was serving at hard labor, which by grace of the sovereign had replaced the hanging to which he had been sentenced. His mother, from the Georgian princely family of the Eristovs, was a whimsical and still young beauty, eternally passionate about something—rebellions, rebels, extreme theories, famous actors, poor failures.

She adored Nika and from his name, Innokenty, made a heap of inconceivably tender and foolish nicknames like Inochka or Nochenka, and took him to show to her relatives in Tiflis. There he was struck most of all by a splay-limbed tree in the courtyard of the house where they were staying. It was some sort of clumsy tropical giant. With its leaves, which resembled elephant’s ears, it shielded the courtyard from the scorching southern sky. Nika could not get used to the idea that this tree was a plant and not an animal.

It was dangerous for the boy to bear his father’s terrible name. With Nina Galaktionovna’s consent, Ivan Ivanovich was preparing to petition the sovereign about Nika adopting his mother’s family name.

While he lay under the bed, indignant at the way things went in the world, he thought about that along with everything else. Who is this Voskoboinikov to push his meddling so far? He’s going to teach them!

And this Nadya! If she’s fifteen, does that mean she has the right to turn up her nose and talk to him like a little boy? He’s going to show her! “I hate her,” he repeated to himself several times. “I’ll kill her! I’ll invite her for a boat ride and drown her.”

Mama’s a good one, too. Of course, she tricked him and Voskoboinikov when she was leaving. She didn’t go to any Caucasus, she quite simply turned north at the first junction and is most calmly shooting at the police along with the students in Petersburg. While he has to rot alive in this stupid hole. But he would outwit them all. He’d drown Nadya, quit school, and run off to his father in Siberia to raise a rebellion.

The edge of the pond was densely overgrown with water lilies. The boat cut into their thickness with a dry rustle. Where the growth was torn, the water of the pond showed like the juice of a watermelon in a triangular cutout.

The boy and girl started picking water lilies. They both took hold of the same tough, rubbery stem, which refused to snap. It pulled them together. The children bumped heads. The boat was drawn to the bank as if by a hook. The stems became entangled and shortened; the white flowers with centers bright as egg yolk and blood sank underwater, then emerged with water streaming from them.

Nadya and Nika went on gathering flowers, heeling the boat over more and more and almost lying next to each other on the lowered side.

“I’m sick of studying,” said Nika. “It’s time to begin life, to earn money, to go among people.”

“And I was just going to ask you to explain quadratic equations to me. I’m so weak in algebra that it almost ended with me repeating the exam.”

Nika sensed some sort of barb in these words. Well, of course, she was putting him in his place, reminding him of how young he still was. Quadratic equations! And they had not even caught a whiff of algebra yet.

Without betraying how wounded he was, he asked with feigned indifference and realizing at the same moment how stupid it was:

“When you grow up, who are you going to marry?”

“Oh, that’s still so far off. Probably no one. I haven’t thought about it yet.”

“Please don’t imagine I’m all that interested.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“You’re a fool.”

They began to quarrel. Nika remembered his morning misogyny. He threatened Nadya that if she did not stop saying insolent things, he would drown her.

“Just try,” said Nadya.

He seized her around the waist. A fight started. They lost their balance and fell into the water.

They both knew how to swim, but the water lilies caught at their arms and legs, and they could not yet feel the bottom. Finally, sinking into the ooze, they clambered out on the bank. Water poured in streams from their shoes and pockets. Nika was particularly tired.

If this had happened still quite recently, no further back than that spring, then in the given situation, sitting together thoroughly soaked after such a crossing, they would surely have made noise, scolding or laughing.

But now they were silent and barely breathed, crushed by the absurdity of what had happened. Nadya was indignant and protested silently, while Nika hurt all over, as if his arms and legs had been broken by a stick and his ribs caved in.

Finally, like a grown-up, Nadya quietly murmured, “Madman!”—and he, in the same grown-up way, said, “Forgive me.”

They began to walk up towards the house, leaving wet trails behind them like two water barrels. Their way led up the dusty slope, swarming with snakes, not far from the place where Nika had seen a grass snake in the morning.

Nika remembered the magic elation of the night, the dawn, and his morning omnipotence, when by his own will he had commanded nature. What should he order it to do now, he wondered. What did he want most of all? He fancied that he wanted most of all to fall into the pond again someday with Nadya, and he would have given a lot right then to know if it would ever happen or not.