Leaving Epitaph: The Sons of Daniel Shaye

11

The point of leaving Vernon immediately was so that Sheriff Torrence wouldn’t get brave on them. They stopped and camped just outside of town, because Shaye didn’t think Torrence would actually leave Vernon to chase them. He was crooked, he took money, but he wasn’t a killer, and to keep his crookedness from the townspeople, he’d have to kill all four of them.

They ate a dinner of bacon and beans prepared by James and then Shaye said, “Thomas, James, why don’t you go and check on the horses, and find more wood. I want to talk to your brother.”

“Sure, Pa,” Thomas said.

“Talk to him ’bout what?” James asked, but Thomas led him away from the fire.

“I know what you’re gonna say, Pa,” Matthew said before Shaye could begin to speak.

“And what’s that, Matthew?”

“I got carried away when I was whompin’ the sheriff.”

“Yes, you did.”

“I just got so mad,” Matthew said, balling his hands into fists and pressing them together, “thinkin’ about him tryin’ to help the gang get away from us.”

“I know, Matthew,” Shaye said. He reached across the fire and put his hand over his son’s fists. “I was mad too. I wanted to kill him.”

“You did?”

Shaye nodded.

“You didn’t show it.”

“I kept control of my emotions, Matthew,” Shaye said. “That’s not an easy thing to do.”

Gently, Shaye was able to open his son’s hands so they were no longer clenched tightly.

“But we have to try,” he went on, “or our anger will get the better of us. It’ll eat us up inside before we have a chance to finish what we started. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Pa.”

“Your mother was very proud of you and your brothers,” Shaye said, “of the men you had become. Let’s not do anything that would shame her, okay?”

“Okay, Pa.”

“Now, why don’t you go and help your brothers.”

“Yes, sir.”

Shaye poured himself another cup of coffee as Matthew went off to find his brothers. His own anger had almost boiled over in the sheriff’s office. He wondered if his sons would have had to pull him off of Sam Torrence if it hadn’t been Matthew.

His boys probably didn’t have any idea how tightly strung they were. Matthew had been the first to break, but he could see it in all three of them, just as he knew it was in himself. They were all like bowstrings that were about to snap, and it was his job to keep it from happening.

Perhaps the one thing he did not truly realize was just how close he actually was to breaking. With the responsibility of not only finding his wife’s killers, but keeping his sons safe and in check, there was more and more pressure on him. A man who prided himself on his self-control, even he did not know what would happen when he finally lost it.

“What’d he want to talk to you about?” James asked Matthew while they searched for wood. Thomas had gone to check the horses, even though he knew his father had just given it to them as busy work.

“That’s between me and Pa,” Matthew said.

James straightened up, holding an armful of wood, and faced his brother. “It was about that whompin’ you gave the sheriff, wasn’t it? You woulda killed him if we hadn’ta stopped you.”

“I was mad,” Matthew said.

“I know,” Jame replied. “I’m mad too. We all are. I hope Pa lets me whomp somebody before this is over.”

“Little brother,” Matthew said, “me and Thomas would have to hold somebody still for you to whomp ’em.”

“You think so?” James stuck his jaw out belligerently. “I can handle myself, ya know.”

“Yeah, James,” Matthew said, “I know.”

Thomas returned to the fire first and accepted the cup of coffee his father held out to him.

“You’re the oldest, Thomas,” Shaye said. “I need you to keep an eye on your brothers.”

“I will, Pa.”

“I swore on your mother’s grave that I would try to keep you boys safe. Taking you along on this hunt was not the way to do that.”

“We woulda followed you anyway.”

“I figured as much.”

They sat quietly for a few moments and then Thomas said, “Pa?”

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you somethin’?”

“Of course, Thomas.”

“You ain’t talked much about Ma. Don’t you wanna talk about her?”

“I do, Thomas,” Shaye said, “and I will. We’ll talk a lot about her, but not until after this is all over. Is that all right?”

“Sure, Pa,” Thomas said, “that’s all right.”

“Thank you, son.”