Leaving Epitaph: The Sons of Daniel Shaye

33

When Shaye and his sons camped that night, the three boys were quiet. Shaye was quiet as well. He assumed they were all spending some time with their own thoughts.

In the past few days or so he’d done a piss-poor job of answering his sons’ questions. Now, their mother, she knew how to answer them when they had questions. She was able to satisfy them with her answers, set aside whatever fears they had, and make them feel better.

He felt sorely lacking in that area.

The boys were probably now convinced that he was some kind of amoral ex-outlaw who was going to turn to murder to achieve his goal. One man’s murder, though, was another man’s justice. Was that something he’d be able to make the three boys understand when the time came?

Perhaps it was time to give them an opportunity to change their minds. Now that they knew what he was planning, maybe they wouldn’t be so eager to follow him anymore.

He decided the only way to find out was to ask them. They were, after all—as he had told Matthew—grown men, with their own minds to make up.

He waited until they were seated around the campfire, finished eating and drinking coffee.

“I want to talk to you boys about something,” he said.

“What’s that, Pa?”

“Since we left Epitaph, you boys have found out some things you didn’t know before.”

“What kind of things, Pa?” Matthew asked.

“Things about me,” Shaye said. “About the man I used to be, and about what I plan to do when we finally catch up to the Langer gang.”

“Pa,” Thomas said, “we knew when we left town what we were going to do when we found them.”

“But you didn’t know that the law might look at it as murder.”

“Well…no…” Thomas said.

“Now that you know,” Shaye said, “I think you three should be offered the opportunity to make up your own minds.”

“About what, Pa?” James asked. “Specifically?”

“About whether or not to continue with me,” Shaye said. “I’m offering you the opportunity to turn back if you want to.”

“Turn back?” James asked.

“And go where?” Thomas asked. “To Epitaph?”

“Well—”

“There’s nothin’ for us in Epitaph, Pa,” Thomas said. “Ma’s dead. The only family we have is you, and we’re stayin’ with you—at least, I’m stayin’ with you. You’re givin’ us the chance to make up our own minds, so I’ve made my decision.”

Shaye looked at his middle son. “Matthew?”

“I’m stayin’ with you, Pa.”

“James?”

“Me too,” the younger brother said. “No question.”

“Boys…there’s a possibility that the law might come after you too.”

“We’ll be ready for them, Pa,” Thomas said.

“We got a right to avenge our mother,” James said, “and your wife. Do any of us doubt that?”

Matthew and Thomas both shook their heads no. There was no doubt whatsoever.

“We’ll deal with that when the time comes, Pa,” Thomas said. “We got somethin’ to do, and we’re gonna do it.”

“With you,” Matthew said. “Where you go, we go, and what you do, we’re gonna do.”

Well, there was some doubt about that in Shaye’s mind, but what he said was, “Thank you, boys.”

“You don’t gotta thank us, Pa,” Matthew said. “She was our ma.”

Thomas and James nodded their agreement.

“You’re good—” Shaye stopped himself. “I was just going to say that you’re good boys, but that’s wrong. The three of you are all good men now.”

“You and Ma did a good job raisin’ us, Pa,” Thomas said.

“Your mother did all the work.”

“Not true, Pa,” Thomas said. “Maybe she was home all the time and you weren’t, but we learned a lot from you, just from watchin’ you…just from the kind of man you are.”

“It doesn’t matter what kind of man you were once, Pa,” James said. “It only matters what kind of man you been to us, what kind of father. I don’t think we could have had a better one.”

Thomas and Matthew nodded their agreement.

Shaye stared at all three of his sons with pride. If he had even the smallest amount to do with them becoming the men they were, he was also proud of himself.

“We’re all good men,” Matthew said proudly.

Thomas picked up the coffeepot and poured all their cups full so they could toast that fact. Privately, Dan Shaye wondered who else would be convinced of that once they had successfully done what they had set out to do.