Leaving Epitaph: The Sons of Daniel Shaye

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Outside, in front of the church, Shaye found his sons standing apart, Thomas off to one side with his head bowed, James and Matthew together on another side, looking away from their brother. Like most young men—and possibly like most men—they had not learned how to deal with intense emotions yet. The emotions that Thomas was feeling at the moment embarrassed his brothers. Shaye walked over to his oldest son and put his hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Pa.”

“For what?” Shaye asked. “Speaking your mind? Don’t ever be sorry about that, Thomas.”

“Ma was a churchgoin’ woman,” Thomas said. “She’d’a tanned me good for talkin’ to a priest that way.”

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having your faith tested, Thomas.”

Thomas looked at his father. “Is your faith being tested, Pa?”

“Sorely tested, Thomas,” Shaye said truthfully. “In fact, my faith is shaken.”

“What do we do about it?”

“We can’t dwell on it now, son,” Shaye said. “It would keep us from doing what has to be done.”

“So what do we do?”

“We set the question aside for another time,” Shaye said. “Come on, let’s go talk to your brothers.”

James and Matthew had been having a conversation of their own about faith.

“’Course there’s a God, James,” Matthew said. “How could we be here if there wasn’t?”

“I don’t know, Matthew,” James said. “I just know that Ma didn’t deserve what happened to her. How could God do that?”

“God didn’t do it,” Matthew said, “the Langer gang did, and we’re gonna kill them for it. We can’t blame God, ’cause then we’d have to kill God for it, and we can’t kill God.” Matthew’s logic made perfect sense to him.

“We could stop believin’ in Him,” James said.

“James,” Matthew said, “if Ma ever heard you say that—”

Shaye and Thomas joined them then, and both James and Matthew looked embarrassed about their own conversation.

“You two okay?” Shaye asked.

“We’re fine, Pa,” James said. “Thomas?”

“I’m fine.”

“You’ve probably already figured this out,” Shaye said, “but I knew Vincent Shaye—Father Vincent—years ago, which means I also knew Ethan and Aaron.”

“During your outlaw days?” Matthew asked.

“Yes, Matthew,” Shaye said. “We crossed paths during my outlaw days.”

“So you knew why Langer was headin’ for Oklahoma City,” Thomas said.

“Not really, but I figured while he was here he might stop to see his brother.”

“What did the father mean about Langer seein’ Ma in his dreams, Pa?” Matthew asked.

“Your mother is haunting Ethan Langer, Matthew,” Shaye said. “He’s dreaming about her at night.”

“Good for Ma!” James said.

“Father Vincent seems to think this is the way Ethan is dealing with his guilt.”

“The important thing,” Thomas said, “is that we’re only a day behind the gang.”

“Yes, Thomas,” Shaye said, “that is important, but we also need rest, and so do the horses, so we’ll be staying overnight.”

“But we’ll lose some of the ground we’ve made up,” James said.

“We’re going to catch up to them, James,” Shaye said. “That’s a foregone conclusion. They can’t get away from us. A half a day this way or that isn’t going to make much difference.”

“So what do we do now?” Matthew asked.

“We go back to our hotel, we board the horses, and we get something to eat,” Shaye said.

“Good,” Matthew said, “because I’m starvin’.”

“You’re always starvin’,” James said as they mounted their horses. “If you ever weren’t starvin’, I’d think you weren’t my brother anymore.”

Inside the church, Father Vincent rose from the pew he was sitting in, went to the altar and knelt before it. He had to pray, but he wasn’t really sure who or what to pray for. His brothers were evil men. Should he pray for their souls? Daniel Shaye and his sons were after vengeance, but they weren’t bad men. Pray for them?

He made the sign of the cross and pressed his hands together. Maybe he’d just play it safe and pray for all of them—and while he was at it, toss in a prayer for himself as well.